What are your personal fears?

In order to promote one's own personal development it is important to know one's fears.

Human beings are first and foremost emotional beings.. This implies that we do not feel emotions at only a few moments of the day, but that we always live according to an emotional state. Your emotions, then, not only influence your mood, but also condition your behavior, your way of interpreting situations, your decisions, even your way of relating and communicating.

What is the emotion that most conditions us? Undoubtedly, fear, being the most subtle and the one that has the most important mission of all: to protect your life.

Learning to understand and manage your fears is probably the most important learning about yourself that you can do to grow and generate psychological well-being. You will have heard a thousand times about fear... but what are yours? What are the fears that really block and condition you the most? How to overcome them?

In any process of change in which I accompany a person we always find that there is fear. In this article we are going to see what fear really is, what is its function, what are the most common fears, but above all, that you discover what yours are and take the first steps to overcome them. For more than 10 years as a psychologist and coach I have been accompanying people in their processes of change and this step is essential, so let's go for it, don't be afraid!

The problem is not fear... but how you manage it.

One of the most common labels we give to fear is that it is a "negative emotion". These kinds of categories belong more to psychiatry, when making some kind of diagnosis. However, emotions, in themselves, are all positive, since they all have a reason to exist.They all have a reason for being.

Sadness helps you discover what you think you need, anger can help you know what you want to be in control of, and fear helps you discover what you consider dangerous. This is why fear is such a difficult emotion to manage: because it has the most important mission of all, which is to protect your life. The problem, then, is not fear... but having too many fears, of too many things, and above all not being aware of those fears and not knowing how to manage them.

However, the most common fears are not the most common fears are not of animals, airplanes, accidents... but are more subtle and elusive and condition your life in a way that we cannot imagine. Even people who consider themselves not very fearful are surprised when they discover all the fears they have.

Fear works in the following way: when faced with a situation or experience that has shocked you and that you consider dangerous or that violates you in some way (breakups, comments, needs), fear arises to try to paralyze you and make you avoid the supposed dangers (which in reality are not such). Over time, we learn to behave in a way that is totally conditioned by fear even if we are not aware of it. In fact, our behavior is sometimes always directed toward avoiding those situations that make us feel fear.

Let's reflect on some of the most common fears, but first I leave you with this video where we delve into this topic in a much more personal way (the article continues below). Press play!

Our most common fears

There are some recurring fears in all human beings. Let's go deeper into what your fears are by looking at the five big fears (some of them are present in almost every person).

1. Fear of loneliness

Fear of loneliness implies either a constant need to be surrounded by people, stimuli or to have a partner, or even by the fear of loneliness itself.or even because of the fear of loneliness we tend to behave in such a way that we isolate ourselves (in the face of the prognosis, you go ahead).

2. Fear of not feeling loved or valued

This fear is one of the most common and constantly analyzing whether the other person's behavior implies affection or valuation, but according to your own understanding, you are not sure if you are not loved or valued.but according to your own way of understanding and feeling it. As the other person is someone else, expectations are not met and the fear is validated and continues.

3. Fear of losing your own personal valuation

When your well-being depends on external factors that we cannot control, there is an insistence on trying to validate your personal value.because you have identified so much with what you can do that your well-being depends on it.

4. Fear of freedom

This is also one of the most common fears. Living without guidance, without referentsWe are usually afraid because we consider life as a constant uncertainty.

5. Fear of losing control

When there are too many needs, angry behaviors or frequent arguments, it implies that we want to be in control as well as a low tolerance to frustration.

Exploring one's fears

Now let's look at what your fears are. Try to answer these questions on a sheet of paper (physical or digital) with complete honesty:

• What is the experience that keeps repeating itself over and over again and you would like it to change?
• What is the behavior on your part that you have over and over again and leads to the same result?
• What are you trying to protect yourself from?
• What are you trying to accomplish by doing so?
• What are you losing?

I make you a very special proposal. At empoderamientohumano.com you have several options to take a first step in your personal change process. You can even schedule a first exploratory session with me to get to know each other, explore your situation, discover what the problem is, find a solution and see how I can accompany you. Fears don't have to be overcome, they are useful... it's just a matter of understanding and managing them. That is what will change everything forever.