Why do I fall in love so easily? Possible causes and what to do
Possible causes of the tendency to fall in love easily, and advice in the face of this phenomenon.
"Why do I fall in love so easily?". It's a question many people ask themselves, worried that they have a problem.
Love is a feeling that we all experience at some point in our lives, and we wish it was always reciprocated. Unfortunately, it is not always because it often happens that we are attracted to someone who is not interested in us.
This is normal. What is not so normal is to fall madly in love with someone new every so often, a problem that can have behind it problems of self-esteem and a very dependent personality.. Let's see it below.
'Why do I fall in love so easily' A common problem.
Love is a universal feeling, a sign that we can feel connected to other people beyond our family circle. Love connects us with people who, if they were complete strangers before, are now part of our lives. Who doesn't want to fall in love? Who doesn't want to feel that someone is in love with him or her?
But although it is an emotion normally associated as positive, something nice to feel, there are people whose frequency of falling in love is worrying.... Falling in love frequently and then feeling the hard and relentless weight of disappointment after a short time is something that can hurt us, and this is something that people who fall in love know very well, and although they have good intentions and desires, they are not always happy people.
People who get excited as soon as they meet someone anywhere have the dangerous tendency to idealize a romantic life, full of good experiences, set high expectations and then suffer for a love that was doomed almost from the beginning. There may be many unsatisfied deficiencies that influence those people who wonder why they fall in love so easily.
Some say that people who fall in love easily have a personality characterized by a certain emotional immaturity and irresponsibility. Some of these people are capable of leaving a relationship they had just started in order to start a new one, discarding "old" loves.Some of these people are capable of leaving a relationship they had just started to start a new one, discarding "old" loves to throw themselves into the arms of a new one and feel that sensation we had as children as soon as we opened the toys we were given at Christmas.
Regardless of whether this is true or not, there is one undeniable fact about all people who are constantly in and out of relationships: they suffer. Falling in love every now and then, getting excited about a man or a woman, loathing the one you are dating, dreaming about someone you have just met... all these actions involve moments of real excitement followed by a slump, an emotional collapse marked by the hard setback that life gives us, with disappointments and frustrations.
You can't have everything in this life, and this is evidenced by the fact that not all loves are reciprocated. Not all couples end up being something, and many do not even have a beginning, something especially painful for a person in love, trapped in the thought of "I love you".trapped in the thought of "this is the one". Their obsession for not being alone can be such that they put aside their self-esteem and dignity in order to remain by someone's side, no matter how they treat him or her.
Possible causes
There are several causes that may be behind falling in love too often.
1. Tendency to idealize
Many people who fall in love are so because they have a great tendency to idealize the relationship they are going to establish with people around them. They see others under a golden halo, magnifying their strengths and ignoring their weaknesses and, as they see others as if they were perfect, they cannot help falling in love with them.
2. Low self-esteem
Another possible cause behind a person falling in love very often has to do with having very low self-esteem. People with low self-confidence and self-confidence may seek to fill this void by having someone by their sidesomeone to cover their shortcomings, to tell them that they are worth as a person.
As a consequence of this dysfunctional need, extremely infatuated people fall in love with anyone who treats them minimally well.
3. Addiction to falling in love
It may come as a surprise to say that one of the causes of falling in love easily is, precisely, the addiction to falling in love. How is this possible? Well, the answer is simpler than it might seem.
As with addictions to certain substances, dopamine is a neurotransmitter that manifests itself when we do something pleasurable, such as having sex.such as having sex.
During the first phase of falling in love our brain releases this neurotransmitter, which is why emotional high when we start a new relationship.. People addicted to this high tend to start and end relationships quickly to feel this sensation more times, so we can speak of an addiction to falling in love.
4. Fear of loneliness
The fast falling in love can be a sign of a dependent personality and synonymous of a deep fear to the solitude..
Since in our culture not having a partner is seen as a bad thing, synonymous with being a bit detached from society, people who are afraid of being alone are pathologically seeking to be accompanied by someone. They are willing to go out with anyone, even if he or she treats them badly, as long as they do not feel that dreaded feeling of loneliness.
5. Inability to learn from their mistakes in love.
Sometimes what happens is that people are simply unable to learn from past experiences. There are people who do not learn from their mistakes, no matter how painful the experiences in the past may have been, they keep hitting the same stone again.
Whether it is because this is part of their personality or because they have been educated in a way that does not seem to pay special attention to the mistakes they have made, there are people who despite suffering for love every now and then do not learn.
What can be done?
As we have commented before, it can that the problem behind is a lack of self-esteem and a fear to the solitude. If you have been a lifelong partner, even if there have been multiple partners, singleness is something that is always intimidating.
However, rather than a threat, singleness should be seen as an opportunity to get to know oneself.We need a moment of introspection to know what strengths and weaknesses we have and use it as a reference to grow from that point.
Self-esteem depends solely and exclusively on us, not on the fact that we are dating someone. When we achieve self-esteem, dating becomes a mere choice, an addition to our lives, not something that gives us value as people. You decide to date someone because you like the way they are, their personality, their tastes and their way of being, not because of a pathological need to have someone by your side.
However, if the love impulsivity is extreme, causing discomfort and you do not find a way to manage the situation, it is necessary to ask for professional help.. We should not be ashamed to go to a psychologist's office because we believe that we fall in love easily. As we have mentioned, it can be a sign of self-esteem problems, inability to learn from past experiences and a pathological fear of singleness that may require psychological intervention. And no matter how many partners we have, if we do not solve our problems before we will not be happy.
(Updated at Apr 14 / 2024)