Why do relationship problems increase during the vacations?

Let's take a look at the reasons why the holiday period can cause couple problems to emerge.

In certain couple profiles, the holiday period goes hand in hand with new sources of potential conflicts. Fortunately, knowing in advance these possible psychological factors capable of destabilizing a relationship is useful to prevent these problems, because they help to act in time and, if necessary, seek professional help in couples therapy.

So, in this article you will find a summary of the causes of why couple problems increase during the vacations..

Why vacations can contribute to the appearance of couple problems?

There are several studies that indicate the existence of a curious phenomenon: just after the July and August vacation period, the number of divorces rises significantly, at least in Western countries.at least in Western countries.

Of course, it does not seem that vacations in themselves are a problem for dating and marriage, an obstacle to enjoying life as a couple. After all, there is no one way to experience the vacations, and it would be hasty to assume that everyone involved in romantic love relationships experiences them in the same way.

Rather, what happens is that the vacations act as a catalyst for already latent relationship problems, accelerating the deterioration of that bond. Let's take a closer look at how this happens.

1. The onset of the vacations boosts impulsivity.

It has been shown that the prospect of starting a vacation early generates a predisposition to impulsive behavior, something that is reflected not only in economic decisions and purchasing behavior, but also in the management of personal relationships. This could also translate into a greater propensity for unilateral decisions, where deliberation where prior deliberation would have been necessary, talking things over in order to choose what to do together. Or it could even lead people in a relationship to expose themselves more to the temptation of infidelity.

2. In long-distance relationships, it happens to adapt to living together.

Special cases such as those in a long-distance relationship experience the vacations in a way that has its own characteristics.

The most important thing in situations of this type is that two people who in many cases are not used to living together for many days at a time, reach a point where they can do so by having free time... but maintaining expectations of well-being and harmony while living together that are normally the same as in a non-distance relationship. They don't expect to have to adapt to the challenge of living with someone they love, but they usually have to do it through a long distance relationship.They do not expect to have to adapt to the challenge of living with someone they love, but usually, they must do so through deliberate efforts, which can generate a feeling of unpleasant surprise and frustration.

3. If there are jealousy problems, they are easily exacerbated.

In relationships in which there were already problems of jealousy, it is very easy that the situation worsens during the vacations. Increased exposure to leisure activities and new social circles with whom they interact feed the controlling or almost paranoid type of thoughts.

4. Possible differences in finding time to be alone.

On vacation, differences in preferring more or less alone time are more prominent.. This affects especially people who are in a relationship with someone quite different from them in the dimension of introversion extraversion personality: it is much more common that introverts prefer to spend more hours of the week alone, engaging in activities they can do on their own.

• Article related: "How to know if you tend towards introversion or extraversion".

5. Managing free time together tests dialogue and negotiation skills.

Even if both partners have little difference in their appreciation (or not) of solitude, it remains to be decided how much time they spend in each other's company.. Here play a role both common interests (travel, go to museums, go to environments with lots of nature, etc.) and the skills of negotiation and conflict resolution (to prevent them from turning into fights).

6. Uncoordinated biorhythms

On the other hand, we must not forget that a lack of coordination when it comes to adjusting the "internal clock" can also be a source of problems during a couple's vacation. during a couple's vacation. Waking up two or three hours later than the other person means "giving up" a good part of the day.

7. The expectations of closing the cycle

Finally, we must also bear in mind that Vacations are, for many couples, a symbol or even an end-of-cycle ritual..

There are people who expect to solve their marital or dating problems in their two weeks of vacation, and if they do not succeed for whatever reason, they automatically interpret it as a failure, a sign that the relationship is predestined to fail.

Are you looking for professional psychological support?

If you are interested in having the services of a psychologist with training and experience in the field of therapy, educational psychology and/or psychological expertise, I invite you to contact me.

My name is Froilán Ibáñez Recatalá and I work mainly from a cognitive-behavioral approach with adults and adolescents. The sessions are designed for individual patients or for couples going through a crisis stage, and can be conducted in person or through the format of online therapy via video calls.