Why Emotional Intelligence is important in parenting

The main reasons why Emotional Intelligence should be present in parenting.

Raising children is a process that goes far beyond giving them information about how the world around them is and how it works; if it were limited to that alone, the little ones would have a too static vision of reality, as if it existed in a photograph. In practice, they would have many problems to develop in a physically and emotionally healthy way.

Therefore, in addition to the above, the upbringing of the smallest of the house also includes aspects such as the way in which it is appropriate to relate to their environment, to others, and to oneself. And for this task it is essential to develop what in psychology is known as Emotional Intelligence.

With that in mind, in the following lines we will see in more detail what are the reasons why EQ is important in parenting. the reasons why Emotional Intelligence is important in parenting, especially in childhood and adolescence.especially in childhood and adolescence.

Why is Emotional Intelligence a basic ingredient in parenting?

These are the different aspects in which the fact of having or not taking into account the Emotional Intelligence at the time of raising our sons and daughters is noticed.

1. It helps them to manage painful emotions

Emotional Intelligence makes us, regardless of our age, capable of managing our emotions so that they do not lead us to develop dysfunctional behavior patterns, which play against us. In the case of the little ones this is very important, because no matter how much their parents or caregivers try to protect them, the simple fact of living will expose them to uncomfortable, unpleasant or sad situations, the simple fact of living will expose them to uncomfortable, unpleasant or sad situations..

One of the most emotionally painful experiences that children will go through is frustration: as they do not yet understand how the world works, they often encounter disappointments or suffer setbacks they did not expect. Emotional Intelligence facilitates that these experiences are part of what will help them to correct their mistakes in the future, instead of using that resentment to continue reproducing inadequate behaviors.

2. It allows them to connect with others

Emotional Intelligence leads us to better understand the emotional states and motivations of the people we interact with, and this is true at any age. Therefore, parents who promote the development of Emotional Intelligence during the upbringing of their children will be contributing to the generation of stable circles of friends, in which communication problems, conflicts and anger do not arise again and again. stable circles of friends, in which communication problems, conflicts and anger do not arise over and over again..

3. Helps to see the incentives linked to the long term

In their first years of life, children tend to behave guided by short-term incentives because that is the world they understand: the world of sensations and stimuli that appear in the here and now. The ability to develop sensitivity to medium and long-term incentives will emerge as they grow up, and is one of the most important aspects of psychological maturation.

Emotional intelligence goes hand in hand with this ability to emotionally connect with the goals that will be reached after a few weeks, months or years have passed.. This also includes the fact of behaving well in order to contribute to the social environment in which the children live to function well. In cases of children with underdeveloped Emotional Intelligence for their age, the incentives they obey are still limited to the gratifications that the present can offer them, which makes it very difficult for them to organize themselves and follow plans.

4. It helps them achieve their goals

Another important aspect of Emotional Intelligence is that it allows us to foresee the emotional consequences that performing certain actions or modifying the environment in a certain way will have on us. For example, it is what is behind the fact that many people who manage to adopt the habit of studying do so by moving away from distractions such as the television, cell phone, etc.

Therefore, incorporating Emotional Intelligence exercises in parenting makes children realize that they often do not have to wait for the right emotion to arise spontaneously from them. that many times they do not have to wait for the right emotion to arise spontaneously from them, but that they can self-induce certain psychological states that help them to perform tasks.Instead, they can self-induce certain psychological states that help them perform tasks.

Are you looking to promote the Emotional Intelligence of your children?

If you are interested in having psychological assistance to help your son or daughter, either through infant-juvenile therapy or through counseling services to parents, please contact us. At PSiCOBAi we attend people of all ages in individual sessions as well as in family and couple therapy. Currently you can count on us both in our center located in Majadahonda and through online therapy. On this page there is more information about our way of working, as well as PSiCOBAi's contact details.

Bibliographical references:

• Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. Barcelona: Kairos.
• Lantieri, L. & Goleman, D. (2008), Building Emotional Intelligence: Techniques to Cultivate Inner Strength in Children. Scotts Valley: CreateSpace.
• Renom, A. (2003). Emotional education. Program for primary education (6 - 12 years). Alphen aan den Rijn: Wolfers Kluwer.
• Salovey, Peter; Mayer, John; Caruso, David (2004). Emotional Intelligence: Theory, Findings, and Implications. Psychological Inquiry, pp. 197 - 215.
• Vallès, A., and Vallès, C. (2000): Inteligencia emocional: Aplicaciones educativas. Madrid, Editorial EOS.