Why go to couples therapy to solve love crises?

Several of the most frequent reasons why people decide to go to couples therapy.

It seems that little by little ideas such as the "better half" are being left behind, and we are increasingly we are more and more aware of the importance of not losing our individuality, of not losing ourselves in the other.We are more and more aware of the importance of not losing our individuality, of not losing ourselves in the other person and stop being ourselves. Only by valuing, caring and respecting our essence and that of the other person, we will be able to build healthy relationships.

Movies, stories and songs that accompany us throughout our lives have contributed to the creation of false myths about love and relationships, such as Prince Charming, love can do everything, opposites attract... It seems that the more suffering there is in the couple, the better the relationship will be and the more love will exist. But let's not fool ourselves, love has to be easy, and if it is not, it is not love.

What are the problems that couples usually present?

There are as many types of relationships as there are couples. There is not a standard of couple, each one creates its own codes and dynamics, they are neither better nor worse. And if the relationship works well, there is no reason to change.

However, on many occasions, the couple is not well, and could benefit from couples therapy. Some of the reasons or problems that couples often have are as follows.

1. Communication problems

Communication is a key element in any human relationship. We must be aware of how we communicate with our partner.. If we use an aggressive, passive or assertive communication style. If we facilitate communication, or on the contrary we hinder it.

2. Handling arguments

One of the most frequent problems that couples have is the bad management of the discussions, in which reproaches abound, the escalation of aggression and the reproaches, the escalation of aggressiveness, power struggles ("who gives their arm in ("who will give their arm to twist"), erroneous interpretations?

3. Intimacy and sexuality

With the passage of time, it is possible that the frequency, the sexual appetite and the moments of intimacy (as caresses, shows of affection...) and of sexual relations, diminish. It may also happen that each partner experiences it differently.

4. Infidelity

Third parties may appear, with the consequent emotional management derived from the infidelity, such as guilt, repentance and forgiveness or not of the other person..

5. Different moments in life

Each member of the couple has a different vital evolution, we are not the same when we are 20, 35 or 40 years old and, although it may not be a problem, at some point it can become a problem, although it may not be a problem, at some point, it can become one..

6. Jealousy, insecurity and mistrust

Jealousy, as we all know, can become pathological. Behind jealousy hides** an insecure personality that will dump all that insecurity on the other**, conditioning and destroying the relationship.

7. Monotony

Monotony and routine as a symptom of being carried away by life and by the rhythm of the relationship can also wear down the emotional bond. It is always positive to reinforce the good things that exist and that maintain the relationship. (to know how to enjoy the routine), as well as to look for new illusions that break the monotony a little.

8. Relationship with the families of origin

There are couples who are very attached to their families of origin, find it difficult to set limits and are overwhelmed by their demands, generating real problems in the relationship.

9. Individual aspects of each member

Each member of the relationship, as we have already mentioned, is an individual person, with his/her strengths and limitations, problems, personal and work situation.... If this is not taken into account and managed properly, it can lead to conflicts in the couple.

10. Birth of children

The birth of a child entails a radical change in the dynamics of life together. The attention and care is taken over by the new member of the family, leaving the care of the couple.The care of the couple is put on the back burner.

What are the objectives of a couple's therapy?

When two people begin to consider the idea of going to couple's therapy, the main objective is to solve the problems they are having in order to to keep alive a coexistence based on love.. As we have already seen, these difficulties may be related to monotony, communication, jealousy... and, if that is achieved, the therapy will have been a success.

However, even if the therapy ends in a breakup or separation, it should not be valued or judged as a failure, on the contrary, if the therapy ends in a breakup or separation, it should not be judged as a failure.On the contrary, if, thanks to the therapeutic process, they have reached that decision, it is probably because that was the best option and staying in the relationship meant prolonging the discomfort.

Another of the fundamental reasons for going to couple's therapy and that almost no couple contemplates, is that of prevention, improvement and learning of strategies to better deal with daily situations within the relationship. within the relationship. It is important that both members of the relationship have common objectives to work on.

Whatever the objective, what will be sought is to improve the well-being of each of the members of the couple, whether they decide not to continue with the joint project, or whether they decide to continue, since this will have a positive impact on the coexistence.

Is this psychological intervention useful?

The answer to this question is a resounding yes. The problem is that in most cases, the couples come late to therapy.. At this point, the relationship is very damaged and the partners feel that they can no longer cope. In these cases, the fact of going to therapy is experienced as a "fire extinguisher", that is to say, a last attempt to save the relationship.

The lack of knowledge and the myths surrounding "going to the psychologist" in general, and couple therapy in particular, hinder and delay the start of the intervention by professionals.

Another problem that can hinder the process is that there is no agreement and consensus among some of the members and that they are not involved in the same way. members and that they are not involved in the same way.. For the couple to stay afloat, both have to row and do it in the same direction.

Are you interested in starting couples therapy?

If you are thinking of starting a couple therapy and work on some of the objectives we have talked about, you can request information and help in Lua Psychology.

It is a center specialized in couple therapy that performs face-to-face therapy in the center of Madrid and online therapy, adapting to the needs of each couple.adapting to the needs of each couple. In both cases the therapeutic process is the same.

If you want to contact us, click on this link.