Why is it so difficult for us to find a stable partner?

These are psychological aspects that influence our ability to find a stable partner.

Our current way of life greatly complicates our ability to maintain quality relationships.. The daily stress, the lack of time, the continuous problems, the difficulty to meet people... all this makes it difficult to meet that person we long for.

However, culturally, we are taught and pressured to find a partner. It is simile of success to have love in our life, and to have a "happy" family. This causes us to compare ourselves to others and not understand why others seem to have a wonderful life while ours is not.

Does having a partner really complete your life, and is that what you want? And if so, have you ever wondered what you would like that relationship to be like? If the answer to all these questions is yes and you do not find that person you would like to have in your life, be sure to read this article.

The difficulties in finding a partner and long-term relationships.

First of all, do you really want to have a partner or is it because of social pressure that you need it? This is something you really need to think about.

A life together implies sharing and living in balance. With love and serenity, sharing hobbies and illusion. Building together and knowing that all relationships go through complicated moments, routines, fatigue and problems to overcome and work together so that this love does not fade. Are you willing to do it? Or is it just because you are lonely? Is it something you really want or do you feel you have to do it because of social pressure?

Is it as worthy to live "with" as "without" a partner?. It is your choice and you have every right to choose what you are really happy with. However, if it is something you want with all your strength and you have not achieved it, or you have not achieved a healthy relationship, let's analyze what may be happening.

What happens to us?

Sometimes, it becomes very complicated to find the right person for us.What do you find most difficult?

• Finding opportunities to network and meet like-minded people.
• Knowing how to choose or identify the best people for you.
• Getting to like or attract.
• Overcoming early barriers and flirting/flirting.
• Maintain a stable relationship (you only have sporadic relationships).

Whatever difficulties you encounter, we can examine them and find ways to solve them. In reality, many times the problems are generated by ourselves, and that is something fundamental to be able to solve.and that is something fundamental to be able to move forward. That is why, from psychology or from a highly effective coaching process, we can find the root of the problem.

Normally, many of the difficulties are based on our fears, many of the difficulties are based on our fearsThe fear of failure, of commitment, of being betrayed, of not being loved, of being hurt? And this causes that we ourselves eliminate many people as candidates, or that we do not even try to have those relationships.

There can also be the problem of a lack of self-esteem, shyness, lack of time, etc. These elements can lead to these situations:

• You don't look good enough for anyone.
• You do not know well how to meet people, or directly, you do not dare to take the step (at least in person, and you only establish relationships online).
• You find it hard to approach others in person.
• You only have sporadic relationships when what you want is a stable relationship.
• You attract a type of people you do not want.
• When you do manage to have relationships, in the end, they are always problematic.
• You leave relationships because you see signs that something might go wrong and you leave before they hurt you.

Why is it so hard to find our "better half"?

Some aspects that influence our ability to establish stable relationships are the following. are the following.

1. Our self-concept of ourselves

If our self-concept is destructive, the product of a low self-esteem with which we do not love ourselves and do not see ourselves as sufficient for anyone, this will cause fear of relating to others. It will also prevent us from exposing ourselves for fear of the opinion of others and of being despised. That will prevent us from having a good social network that will allow us to create affective bonds and opportunities to meet that person we long for. we long for.

2. Fear of failure

Fears paralyze us and prevent us from succeeding in everything we undertake. This includes relationships with others. If we fear it will go wrong, it will go wrong..

3. Fear of getting hurt

If we have had previous relationships in which we have suffered and we keep that suffering alive, it will be very difficult for us to allow anyone to come close to us or that we simply judge it objectively. We must learn from what happened to us, but not live eternally in pain.

4. Shyness/Introversion

People with highly introverted personal characteristics have greater difficulty (or resistance) to having social bonds.. It is more difficult for them to relate to others and they do not have a good time in certain situations, causing avoidance behaviors and, sometimes, isolation.

5. Fear of commitment

Sharing our life with another person implies changing our own. It means adapting two lives for the sake of the union.and not all people are willing to change or adapt. It may be something temporary (because of the moment we are living), or our independence may take precedence over everything else and that is incompatible with having a stable partner.

How can you prepare yourself to find and keep that partner?

If you really want to have a life as a couple, the first thing you must do is to heal your wounds, whatever they may be. Strengthen yourself psychologically, work on unconditional self-esteem, develop social skills, define clearly what you want and what you can do to find and keep a partner.clearly define what you want and what you can offer. All this will also help you to have healthy relationships, without emotional dependence, and avoiding toxic relationships and/or mistreatment from others and from ourselves.

In short, if we want others to love us, we must begin by loving ourselves and offering our best version, as well as preparing ourselves to overcome possible difficulties. To do this, it is very important to follow these guidelines.

1. Work on yourself (seek professional help if necessary).

It is better to dedicate some time and a small investment in your happiness than to spend your life complaining about your bad luck, or how bad things are going for you.or how bad things are going for you.

2. Heal your wounds

Only if you overcome your past can you have a future. Analyze what happened and what you could change.. Do not mistreat yourself or hurt people for things that happened to you and you have not overcome.

Overcome laziness and get out of your comfort zone.

It is difficult to start over, but only if you try will you have a chance to succeed.

4. Enjoy the journey

If you really want to find that person who complements you, keep in mind that this is a path of endurance, not a is a path of endurance, not speed. Try, enjoy the people you meet, discard those who bring you nothing, laugh at what happens to you, enjoy the small moments. Success is not only in the result, it is also in what you do. Reward yourself for your attempts, for your progress. It all adds up. That person will come along.

5. Is there a match between what you are looking for and what you really need?

You should ask yourself these questions to know which person to choose and make the right decisions for your happiness and the happiness of the person with whom you share your life.

6. Generate reasonable expectations

Do not create idyllic situations in your head.. Life is not fairy tales, life is the sum of many moments of happiness that sometimes escape us without even seeing or valuing them.

7. Work with your internal dialogue and beliefs

"I won't be able to find anyone I like", "it's impossible for someone to notice me".... Learn to question beliefs of this type.

8. Online search is overwhelming

Applications of this type involve interacting with many people.which, in turn, interact with each other. It is very important to manage this process in the most appropriate way.

How to make a relationship go well?

The goal of finding a partner is to build healthy relationships by managing and improving everything we have been discussing throughout this article, that is: working on unconditional self-esteem, developing skills, working on our internal dialogue and strengthening ourselves.

If you want to have a completely happy relationship, click on the link where I expose several very effective guidelines for it.

And, if you decide to embark on this world, I can help you work on all these areas, as well as generate strategies to find the partner you want, improve your communication processes, value yourself and others accordingly, manage anxiety and frustration, enhance your strengths, maximize achievements and minimize failures, help you with your dating, and help you finally find that person you have longed for. And above all, to maintain and nurture the relationship you have fought so hard for. You can achieve everything you desire. Only if you let your fears out, will you let your dreams in.