Why you can’t be happy, not now, not ever; not here, not in Alaska.

Happiness is not something we can control or that can be in our minds forever.

We have been sold the absurd idea that we can be happy all the time.. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And not only that, but you have the control to do so, you just have to learn to be happy.

You can see for yourself with a quick Google search: "how to be happy". You will find countless videos and articles (even books) saying that you can be happy in 10 (or 5, 7, 35, pi...) simple steps/habits/keys/secrets...

The harsh reality

I know you want to be happy, like everyone else. But sorry, you can't. For the simple fact that happiness is an emotion and as such it is transitory.. So you can't be happy, you can be happy. That implies that then you won't be anymore, you'll move on to a different emotion, and that's a great thing.

All these messages that happiness depends on you are guilt-ridden (because if you are sad it's either because you want to be or because you haven't learned). (since if you are sad it is either because you want to be or because you have not learned), which precisely moves you to want to learn more about the subject and transform this guilt for not being happy into happiness. The fear of Pain is combined with the desire for pleasure.

Happiness is an emotion

Emotions are a psycho-physiological reactionThat is, a reaction of our mind and body to a particular situation (whether internal or external). It is our quick and unreliable way of assessing what is happening around us.

Since happiness is an emotion, it depends, as the definition above says, on the situation being perceived and is therefore transitory. Human beings are incapable of (nor should we) reinterpret everything to be happy all the time.. Imagine that you are in the morgue for the death of a loved one and you are happy. Or that you are in a toxic relationship of psychological and physical abuse and instead of feeling anger or fear you feel happy, because you reinterpret the situation (who knows how).

As you can see, these types of messages are not only blaming, but also dangerous.

There are no negative emotions

First, assume that there are no negative or positive emotions. At most there are pleasant or unpleasant emotions, and each of them can be adaptive or maladaptive depending on the situation.

Just like the child who does not want to eat vegetables, because he finds both the taste and the texture unpleasant but it is healthy for him to eat vegetables, you have to accept that there are emotions that you will find unpleasant but it is healthy for you to experience them. Only in this way will you be able to express these emotions and question them.

Now the question is not "How can I be happy?". Now the question is "Am I finding this emotion useful?".

Thus, if the answer is yes, you just have to live it. If the answer is no, you can begin to analyze it and work so that in future similar situations it does not appear and you do not let yourself be carried away by it.

To think about

If you had to put a definition to "happiness" or tell me what makes you happy, what would it be?

Are you thinking about actions and situations?

If so, imagine that you repeat them all the timeOr is it precisely their scarcity (either in frequency or duration) that makes you able to compare them with the moments and situations in which you are not so happy that lead you to enjoy them so much?

Perhaps, being sad allows us to be happy in the same way that fear allows us to show courage..

And finally, be careful what you consume and who you consume it from. I know I'm not talking about drugs, but nowadays information is treated the same way. Or, rather, your attention.

Tips to be happier

It would be amazing if I gave you some "tips" to be happier now, wouldn't it?

Well, here's one:

• Go to a psychologist.