Your partner could be a psychopath: keys to identify him or her

Psychopaths often hide their intentions, so how do you identify them in a relationship?

We usually have the word "psychopath" associated with the typical serial killer from novels or movies such as Hannibal Lecter, or with real and famous psychopaths such as Ted Bundy or Edmund Kemper.

However, this association is a mistake, as not all psychopaths go on to commit Blood crimes; in fact there are a disturbing number of people who have a markedly psychopathic personality. people who have a markedly psychopathic personality and have never killed anyone and will never set foot in prison..

Not all psychopaths kill

Given the statistics, it is very possible that you know some of these people with strong psychopathic traits, and it is likely that you do not have even the slightest suspicion of the true nature behind that charming smile and flawless image.

These "integrated psychopaths" function like a virus that has managed to outwit society's immune system; they are adept at hiding their true nature, making them difficult to detect. One of the leading experts on psychopathy, Dr. Robert Hare, refers to them as "snakes in suits".

They are aware of the harm they cause

A psychopath is a being with a perverse personality. Something is wrong with their way of empathizing.They are aware of the harm they cause, but far from feeling pity or remorse they revel in it. Unlike most of us, he does not enjoy the good of others (rather he feels envy and resentment) and, moreover, he tends to enjoy causing suffering in others, either for fun or out of sheer boredom. Any appearance he may show of compassion is a theater, a mask.

The psychopath has a certain intuition that something is wrong with him, he knows he is different, he knows that most people are good and assume good in others, and he takes advantage of this, pretending to be an ordinary person.He knows that most people are good and assume good in others, and he takes advantage of this, pretending to be an ordinary person.

How to identify it

Some people, without knowing it, enter into a love relationship with a person with these characteristics.. Now, if your partner is a psychopath, you will realize this during the cohabitation.

The beginning of the relationship with these people is usually intense and at a faster pace than the rest of your relationships have been. The psychopath will try to live with you as soon as possible, usually moving into your home.

A psychopath's way of thinking is skewed in relation to most of us. Their emotional world is much more restricted; however, they have a good adjustment to reality (i.e., they do not suffer from hallucinations or delusions) and do not feel fear as most people do. (i.e., they do not suffer from hallucinations or delusions) and do not feel fear as most people do. In fact, some barely feel fear at all, which often leads them to engage in reckless behaviors.

Look at their behaviors

If you think your partner is a psychopath don't try to understand how he thinks, he is too different from you for you to understand him, and besides he won't really show you his way of thinking. It is much more useful for you to look at how he acts and the contrast between what he says and what he does..

At the beginning of the relationship he will use a manipulation strategy known as "love bombing". This seduction technique is typically used by cults, and it generates in the victim a state of generates in the victim an almost intoxicated state of being showered with interest, compliments, positive attention, closeness and affection.. In the case of your psychopathic partner it is all a lie, it is a screen that hides some perverse intention. In reality, he is not interested in you.

This initial experience, this bombardment of love, is engraved in the mind of the victim.. It is like a high, like a drug. This initial feeling of ecstasy is very difficult to erase and the victims will desperately seek to feel the euphoria of the beginning again. The psychopath will play on this.

A psychopath is a person who is unstoppable when it comes to getting what he or she wants.. The end justifies the means, he will do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and you had better not get in the way of his desires, because if you get in his way and he can't get around you he will simply take you out of the way without the slightest remorse.

On the other hand, a psychopath does not take responsibility, does not feel guilt or apologize for anything if he does not see it as necessary for his interests. He justifies himself for his faults, blames others (he blames you) or circumstances, anything rather than ask for forgiveness.

In addition, wants and needs to be in control, doesn't accept the feeling of being vulnerable.. If you see him cry, be sure that his tears are false; he may cry out of frustration, out of pure rage, but not out of grief or guilt, because he does not feel these things.

The psychopath believes that he deserves everything, that he is special and has more rights than others. His narcissism and sense of grandiosity make him believe that he will never be caught.and some of the most relevant criminals have been caught thanks to this carelessness.

Also It is also typical that psychopaths never quite trust anyone; they transfer their perverse natureThey transfer their perverse nature onto others so that they never let their guard down.

He will buy you with false promises. He lies compulsively, even when cornered. You never know what he really thinks. He will deceive you with such brazenness and conviction that you will come to doubt yourself.

In addition, he often talks about his past relationships, calling them crazy, unstable, toxic, or any other label that might suggest that he's had a lot of bad luck with partners and that you've finally come into his life so that the two of you can be together. suggest that he has had very bad luck with partners and that, finally, you have appeared in his life so that the two of you can be happy.. Then his discourse will change and he will start questioning you, devaluing you, disrespecting you and sending you negative messages about yourself. This is the discard phase, it indicates that he has had enough of you and most likely he has already changed you for someone else. And you are not in his plans, now he wants to hurt you.

He will use triangulation and projectionHe will try to generate jealousy in you, introducing a third person in the relationship, but usually in a subtle way. He will intentionally make you suspicious of him and then deny everything and accuse you of jealousy and your need to control. Many times he will question your mental stability and try to unhinge you. He will accuse you of being unfaithful.

He may try to isolate you from your family and/or separate you from your friends, or he may get along very well with you.He may try to isolate you from your family and/or separate you from your friends, or he may get along very well with your family and everyone finds you charming, implying that you are the "bad guy" in the relationship. When he gets tired of you he will start to denigrate you, attacking your self-confidence with a subtle and then direct bombardment of disqualifications, gradually undermining your self-esteem.

He will also manipulate you through guilt and dependency to keep you at his mercy, this is what he has always wanted.This is what he has always wanted since the beginning of the relationship. He needs to feel powerful and exploit others.

You will notice that he maintains an unblemished image, he maintains a way of being that is charming from the outside and it is likely that if you tell the people around you about the way he treats you, they will not believe you. It seems that only you see the hidden face of the psychopath, and that increases the feeling that you are going crazy, but you are not.

What to do?

If you observe several of these traits in your partner, it is likely that you have met an exploitative person of the worst kind. Maintaining a relationship with such a person puts your mental health at serious risk..

It is possible to overcome the trauma of continued abuse of this kind, but it is very difficult to do it alone. The longer you have shared with such a person, the more likely it is that this relationship has left significant psychological scars. Seek specialized professional support.

Bibliographical references:

Piñuel, I. (2019). Amor Zero, cómo sobrevivir a los amores con psicópatas. Madrid: La esfera de los libros. Junker, S. (2017). Victims of destructive cults. Mind&Brain, 87: pp. 62 - 68.