4 dangerous lies we tell ourselves on a daily basis

The seed of self-deception can become psychologically debilitating.

No one likes to be lied to, but realistically, we have all, at some point in our lives, lied. This is what a book called "Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception", written by Pamela Meyer, states. In its pages appears a research that concluded that people lie between 10 and 200 times a day, since many times we tell only part of the truth. We are social beings, and we tend to adapt many phrases to what is considered socially acceptable..

In another book, moreover, Robert Feldman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts, explains that "we tell between two and three lies in the first 10 minutes of a conversation with someone we have known for a short time". According to Feldman, lying often occurs to protect our own self-esteem.

Several dangerous lies we tell ourselves every day.

Keeping Friedman's statement in mind, we people tend to self-deception many times in order to keep our self-esteem intact. But, what are the lies we tell ourselves most often in our daily lives?

1. I'll quit tomorrow

This phrase is often applied, for example, when a person is a smoker and knows the negative consequences for his or her health. Smokers, despite knowing that smoking is harmful to them, continue to smoke. The case of smokers is a classic example of cognitive dissonance, a well-studied theory defined as the anxiety, tension or discomfort that a person experiences when his or her beliefs and attitudes conflict with his or her behaviors. This anxiety causes the person to self-deceive in order to reduce the discomfort.

Tomorrow I'll quit" is a way of not having to make a decision at that moment even though we see the negative consequences of our action.. In the case of smokers, they can see in television commercials that smoking causes cancer, Respiratory problems, chronic fatigue and even death. In addition, images and a clear message appear on the cigarette pack.

Despite these messages, smokers continue to smoke even though they know that they should be healthy and that this drug is harmful to their health. Cognitive dissonance studies show that people avoid such anti-smoking messages and even justify themselves with thoughts such as: "I will have to die of something".

• If you want to know more about the cognitive dissonance theory proposed by Leon Festinger, you can read our article: "Cognitive dissonance: the theory that explains self-deception".

2. Tomorrow I start

The "I start tomorrow" is a classic of those people who have the habit of postponing their tasks or activities without any valid justification.. This is known as procrastination, and it is more common than it seems. In fact, a survey of 1,347 subjects showed that one in four had a strong tendency to procrastinate. The study also concluded that there were no significant differences between men and women.

Another research that tried to find out how much a person procrastinates found that employees, on average, put off their main task for one hour and twenty minutes each day. In the case of students, 32% are susceptible to this habit, according to a study by Patterns of Academic Procrastination.

Depending on the situation, "I'll start tomorrow" can cause serious problems, for example, stress when tasks pile up. On the other hand, this phrase is also typical when a person has serious difficulties to start physical activity, so their health will also be affected.

• You can learn more about this phenomenon in our article: "Procrastination or the "I'll do it tomorrow" syndrome: what it is and how to prevent it".

3. Life is rosy (false optimism)

Optimism can be a great virtue when it comes to living a happy and fulfilling life, because optimistic individuals see the good side of life and the positive, instead of dwelling on the negative. Optimistic people tend not to compare themselves with others, they are realistic, self-motivated, enjoy the present, know what they want, have high self-confidence, ignore criticism, are in control of their lives and are honest with themselves.

But this has nothing to do with false optimism, which is pretending to be an optimistic person and believing that life is rosy. False optimism is a mask that makes us avoid reflecting on life and avoid making compromising decisions.. False optimists are not sincere with themselves, are not in control of their lives and are not realistic.

4. To want is power

"To want is power" is an excellent motivational phrase, which can help many people to achieve their goals.. But this phrase should not be used literally, because it is not always true that you can have everything you want or get to where you want. When we set goals and objectives, they must be realistic, otherwise, they can lead to frustration and discomfort.

Imagine someone who has a voice problem and wants to be a singer. This phrase is fine when a person has a potential and talent that can be developed. In other cases, when it is impossible to reach the objective, the alternative is acceptance. The key is to detect what we are good at and then it makes sense to apply this motivational phrase.

How is the brain of a liar

These lies or self-deceptions are quite common among the population, however, some people are compulsive liars. Scientific studies have shown that the brain of a liar presents some characteristics.

• You can learn more in our article, "The lying brain: do we really know why we do what we do?"