4 keys to finding harmony in a home with children

Several tips to help bring the home environment back to calm.

"Come on, hurry up or we won't make it, come on! "You haven't finished your snack yet, what are you waiting for?", "Wait, your brother is crying", "I'll be right there sweetie, mommy is with you in 10 minutes, I'm coming, wait..., I can't do it all, I'm coming, what do you want to play with me? why don't you want to play with me? But I'm not angry.

Children become imbued with the energy we transmit and end up imitating our emotional responses. Our children do not live in a world of hurry as we do, nor do they feel overwhelmed by an excess of responsibilities. However, they give similar responses of nervousness or restlessness, because they mimic our emotional states. We infect them with our moods and our stress, and then we are surprised when they have tantrums, become irritable or more disobedient.

As adults, we get angry and don't understand why at the worst times children are even more disobedient.. Possibly we are provoking it ourselves without realizing it. For this great reason the harmony in the home begins with our own serenity.

Achieving harmony in a home with children

The answer is simpler than you might expect. Creating habits and routines.

Nature has a seasonal rhythm, and so do people with sleep-wake cycles. Children who live in a habit-forming environment are calmer, because they are certain of what they are going to do.because they have certainty about what comes next.

However, in homes where parents do not maintain certain routines, children are expectant, they speed up and do not manage to flow harmoniously.

How can I do it?

Here we will see several keys to achieve create a harmonious atmosphere in our own home.:

1. Make the activities in your home predictable.

With young children it is best to let them know what is going to happen, always using the same "pre-signals".

For example, if it is time to wash our hands to eat, we can always sing the same song that indicates that we are going to do it. After the song and hygiene, they will associate that it is time to sit down to eat.. After several sequences, just by hearing the song, the children will know what time it is and what is expected of them.

Although it may seem to us parents that it is always the same, it is good for children to live in an environment where they know what is going to happen; their restlessness is reduced and there is a certain harmony. When children learn these rhythms, the unexpected decreases, there are fewer disputes, bonds are strengthened, and there is more choice and even time for play.

If routines are disruptedIf routines are disrupted, tension will arise and rushing will spoil the harmony. For example, if we are called on the phone, return the call at another time, if the children want to extend the playground time, know how to politely say that it is time to go to prepare dinner. Although these guidelines may seem rigid, they will help us to avoid shouting, anger and disputes.

Respect the rhythms and sleeping hours.

Children between 6 and 12 years old need to sleep, according to the WHO, between ten and twelve hours a day. Children who get the sleep they need for their age have a better academic have better academic performance and score higher in intelligence. In addition, sleep stimulates the growth hormone and promotes good metabolism of the child, helps memory and concentration.

At Psicode, we meet with parents who come with the demand to reduce their children's misbehavior. In some cases, as the child's sleep is regulated, he or she rests more and has a routine environment, the results that are observed are surprising..

Many times the guilt that parents feel for sending them to bed early and not having time to be with them is the reason for postponing bedtime. However, then those extra minutes make tiredness the next day break the harmony at home.

We invite you to give it a try, move your children's bedtime forward by one hour. You will be surprised not only at how it improves your relationship with them, but also with your partners.but also with your partners.

3. Teach gratitude

Teach them the habit of being thankful, being kind and practice it with the whole family.. Let them observe how asking for things please, or saying thank you helps to generate more harmony in the environment.

Being grateful, even internally with the little things that happen to us, will help them to be more optimistic children, happier and able to look for challenges and possibilities where others only see problems.

We propose, as an activity, that before going to sleep, we give thanks for various things. We can do this with questions such as: "Why has it been a lucky day for you?", "What good things have happened to you today?", "What would you say thank you for today?".

4. Teaches how to listen to silence

In the society in which we live, with access to the Internet, we are constantly overstimulated. Children experience a bombardment of stimuli that makes them intolerant of silence.. They are continually seeking that frenetic pace to which they are accustomed, continually asking questions, turning on the television, having "stunned" thoughts that then turn into mental ruminations.

From time to time, it is possible to enter into silence. It is a gateway to serenity. Another way to find harmony.

We advise helping children to withdraw into themselves. If we see that they are quiet or pensive, respect that moment without interrupting them with questions or instructions. Also We can also play a game of being quiet for 5 minutes and enjoy the sounds of the environment (especially in nature).

Enjoying silence brings serenity to our home.

If you think that your home lacks harmony and you do not know how to handle conflicts with your children or your partner, do not hesitate to ask for advice at the Instituto de Psicologia Psicode in Madrid (Tel: 910000209).