5 beliefs that prevent us from facing changes in difficult times.

Several misconceptions that hinder our resilience.

For some time now, I have been trying to become more aware of the impermanence present in everyday life. I have observed that, although intellectually we know that things change, we don't really perceive this to be the case in daily life, unless it is very obvious change or we choose to pay conscious attention.

We have this idea of continuity, solidity and permanence of things, situations and people in our lives.

The illusion of denial of change

If we recognize that at some point they will change or go away, we do it thinking in the future, not in the now. If things are going well for us at the moment, that future vision of change may scare us, because we we do not want to lose what we have. If they are not pleasant moments, there may be a mixture of longing for transformation and fear that they will remain the same.

In fact, in difficult times, we tend to think that our painful emotions and thoughts will never end. But, nonetheless, these are the times of greatest transformation..

However, the resistance and ideas we have about change contribute to our sense of crisis when difficulties arrive, prolonging and intensifying the Pain and causing us unnecessary suffering. Fear can often paralyze us even though we know what life requires of us at any given moment.

We put off again and again the actions necessary to flow with change because we cannot tolerate the uncertainty of change.Because we cannot tolerate the uncertainty of not knowing exactly where we are going. Or we rush into action without measuring the consequences. Trust in inner wisdom and in life itself is required.

Recognizing the impermanence of things transforms how we live.

We begin to live each day as if it were our last because we understand the finiteness of life. We value the people we have by our side, we share that skill or talent we have today, we stop putting off saying hello to someone who has interested us.

We take the time to watch a sunset, because it is never the same. We stop identifying so much with the mental stories and emotions of the moment, even with our roles and identities because they are not fixed and unchangeable either. We begin to love ourselves unconditionally, not according to how things go. We begin to love each other in good times and in bad times and to love others too, in their impermanence.

Beliefs that keep us from adapting to change.

Living with true wellness involves knowing how to embrace change and the uncertainty inherent in being alive. The beliefs we have about how life should be and how things should go greatly influence how we cope with change. and how things should go greatly influence how we cope with change, but we are not usually very aware of them, until the moment comes that tests us. Here are some beliefs.

Believing that our expectations and desires must always be fulfilled.

It implies believing that life should always be pleasant and that things should always go well for us, according to the life plan we have. It is to seek constant security and to forget the suffering and uncertainty that comes with life. When we think this way, we feel angry with people, life, the universe, and even with a higher power for not fulfilling our expectations. for not meeting our expectations.. We believe that it is unfair and that, if others love us, including God, they must please our desires. We try to cope with the situation by blaming that higher power, life or someone else.

This belief also affects impatience. It is expecting immediate gratification of the efforts, wanting to see the expected changes already achieved and not tolerating frustration. It is not wanting to go through the transformation process or to do it quickly, but to obtain its results. As Maya Angelou said "We marvel at the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it underwent to become what it is".

2. Tendency to think of change as negative and painful

This is the frequency with which we anticipate the worst. Believing that change or what is to come is negative, especially if we like the way things are at the moment, makes uncertainty painful.

While certainly not all changes are pleasant, the resistance we exert and the meaning we give to the experience makes it harder to cope and more painful. For example, thinking that getting older is negative hinders coping with age with dignity and **can lead people to want to avoid it by damaging their health **and appearance through the excessive use of cosmetic procedures.

Similarly, this belief forgets that life is a friend of the human being and that, although we often do not understand at the moment the meaning of certain events, life experiences are like treasures that hold the opportunity for inner growth and transformation. No matter how adverse the experience may be, if we are willing, we can extract a valuable lesson to continue with greater openness on our path of life.

3. Deceiving ourselves and pretending that changes are not happening.

It is to refuse to see reality. Sometimes there are things that have already fulfilled a cycle in our life.. It may be a relationship, a way of doing things that has become obsolete, a business, or an unhealthy lifestyle.

However, we can resist and drag the pain along, maintaining the illusion that what has already expired is going to get better, expecting different results from the same actions or avoiding confronting the truth by succumbing to the constant distractions of modern life. It is important to recognize when it is time to let go of something that no longer works in our life and take different actions.

It is also unrealistic to wish or believe that the people, situations and things around us do not change, that they will always be there or remain the same throughout the passage of time.. Thinking about the people we love and are a part of our lives, resisting change can undermine our ability to be with them through the difficult changes they experience.

Accidents and illness can change the appearance Can we continue to love and support them in the impermanence of these things? Can we continue to love ourselves if we are the ones experiencing these changes?

Finally, another way to deceive ourselves is to believe that change is in the future and not now. We tend to think that we are going to die someday, and not that this can happen at any time. this can happen at any time.. This prevents us from enjoying each day as if it were our last, appreciating the present moment whether it is pleasant or unpleasant and being grateful for absolutely everything we have today without taking anything for granted.

4. Believing that you always have to know where you are going in order to take action.

While there are changes that we make by choice, having a direction and reason in mind why we do it, there are others that slowly unfold in our lives without even asking for them. For example, finding one day that the profession you chose is not what you thought it would be or no longer makes you as happy as it used to. Surely you would have liked not to reach that turning point where circumstances and your feelings ask you to take a new direction, even more, when you have no idea what else to do... or if you do, you don't know what will be around the corner or what the outcome will be.

Sometimes, you have to live through a period of discovery of what's nextwhen you are taking steps based on intuition, but you don't know where exactly they lead you.

When we do not know how to be with uncertainty we make life transitions more difficult, how do you accelerate the process, how do you force yourself to know what is not yet in you to know? We climb the mountain with perhaps an idea of what we may find, but we can never be entirely sure.

We would love to know how our life will unfold step by step, we want to be prepared. But it is a relief that this is not the case, for we would miss out on much of the magic that life possesses and that lies in the unknown territories. In not knowing are the surprises, and many of them can open doors to destinations you never imagined possible.

5. Believing that worth is dependent on what we do and have

It is the idea that the presence of certain certain things in our life defines or determines personal worth.. These things are usually external such as the presence of a socially appreciated physical appearance, a good income, a good job, prestige, power, etc. It is not surprising that when these things change either for a short or indefinite period of time a person feels that he or she is no longer valuable and finds it difficult to handle the change.

This belief then forgets to recognize the unconditional and inherent worth of human beings. Worth is not comparable, nor is it competed for. Value does not have to be earned or proven because it already exists within us and does not depend on external factors. To continue to nurture this belief is to live with an unstable sense of worth that varies according to the presence or absence of these things and that diminishes the ability to flow with change.