5 habits that feed our insecurities

These are ways of living that gradually damage our self-esteem.

In theory and in practice, no one is perfect. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and "blind spots" in our repertoire of virtues, and that is not a problem. What is a problem, on the other hand, is what happens when our perception of these shortcomings generates insecurities that keep us in fear and unwilling to leave a very restricted comfort zone.

Unfortunately, this insecurity with different facets is something we unconsciously internalize if we become accustomed to engaging in certain ways of interacting with others and the environment around us.

These cracks in our self-esteem do not appear by themselves, but depend on the experiences we have gone through.They depend on the experiences we go through and generate. All is not lost: as insecurities are learned, we can also unlearn them until they become insignificant and small enough not to affect us too much. They will never go away completely, since our emotional memory can hardly be reset, but at the end of the day mental health has to do with how functional we are, not whether we are perfect.

Habits that intensify our insecurities.

Next we will see several of the most frequent habits that fuel our insecurities and make them continue to perpetuate over time.

1. Maintaining dependent relationships

This type of human relationship is often significantly damaging during the time in which it takes place, and is not only limited to the realm of the couple and romantic love.

Normally, these links have a person who, among his or her strategies to keep the other in a state of to maintain the other in a state of dependenceThe other person uses different formulas to feed the latter's insecurities. For example, ridiculing their achievements, making fun of their proposals, etc.

2. Exposing yourself to highly stressful contexts.

Frequently experiencing anxiety has a Wide range of negative repercussions on our physical and mental health. Among these unwanted consequences is that we regularly see how our efforts and our ability to concentrate on tasks are not enough to achieve the desired goals, so that we fail many times and make silly mistakes.

Of course, part of these insecurities are based on the objective fact that we show poorer performance in many tasks. we show poorer performance in many tasksBut that is not a consequence of who we are, but of the circumstances we are going through. Therefore, when we stop subjecting ourselves to that amount of stress, it is easier for our perception of ourselves to be more in line with reality and not lead us to pessimism.

3. Comparing ourselves with idealized people

This is one of the habits most related to insecurity. Since we live in the information society, it is increasingly common to compare ourselves with people who basically do not exist, since they are either very "filtered" representations of real users of a social network that show only the good and do not show what they perceive as their own defects, or they are representations of fictitious people created from the work of marketing departments working from the real material provided by celebrities (singers, models, etc.).

Thus, it is very necessary to be aware of the existence of these filters in order to avoid that our self-esteem and self-concept do not depend on comparisons with these mirages. avoid that our self-esteem and self-concept do not depend on comparisons with these mirages..

4. Avoiding problems

There are those who, at the slightest sign that a stressful event may occur, do everything possible to avoid exposing themselves to it, even if facing that situation is clearly positive or necessary given the circumstances, even if it is to tempt fate and give us the opportunity to improve our situation. In these cases, those who have already become accustomed to this insecurity-generating dynamic, rationalize their fear of stepping out of their comfort zone in order to justify their passivity: "I don't have to do that.I don't need to make that call, I know he's going to reject me anyway," for example.

Assuming this behavior as normal does nothing but promote the tendency to keep a low profile, alien to any kind of ambition, and very exposed to fears based on the fear of not being good enough to achieve what we would like to achieve.

5. Basing self-esteem on criticism

There are those who only find a way to reaffirm themselves by criticizing others or making fun of others. by criticizing others or making fun of them.. This not only harms others; it also makes self-esteem dependent on these constant attacks. On the other hand, if ever the direction of these criticisms is reversed, one is much more vulnerable, because that self-image based on moral superiority fades.

Building healthy self-esteem

As we have seen, self-esteem and how we value ourselves depends mainly on how we interact with each other. depends mainly on how we interact with our environment.. To be clear about this is fundamental in order not to assume that insecurities are born from oneself in an isolated way, as if they were part of one's essence.