7 things you shouldnt do when youre jealous
Certain attitudes based on the desire to control your partner are highly dangerous.
Few behaviors can be as unhealthy as jealousy, which causes a serious relationship problem and can end a courtship. While relationships are complicated in and of themselves, they are more so when there is no trust between the two partners.
Jealousy is harmful and can degrade the relationship to the point of causing a breakup to the point of causing a breakup as well as great discomfort. This discomfort not only affects the person who is the victim of jealousy, but also the jealous person.
What you should not do when you are jealous
Jealousy can be considered feelings of insecurity and distress that hijack the attention of the jealous person. To a certain extent they are normal, since no one likes to lose someone they love.
However, when a person is unable to control these feelings when the person is incapable of controlling these feelings and jealousy causes so much suffering that it jeopardizes a love relationship, we are talking about unhealthy jealousy, which we explain more in the article "Unhealthy Jealousy: 10 Common Signs of Extremely Jealous People".
The first step to overcome jealousy is to be aware of it. Therefore, if you are jealous in the following lines we wanted to highlight some actions that you should not carry out when you are jealous.
1. Do not think badly of everything
They say that the jealous person does not think badly about what he/she sees but about what he/she imagines. When a person feels insecure, it is possible that he/she relates things that in reality are not linked, or that he/she suspects something without even thinking about it. suspect something without even checking the veracity of their beliefs.. Therefore, it is necessary that you detect when you lose your temper and observe if the reason for losing your temper is real or the result of your imagination.
2. Do not accuse him/her
When a person suffers from jealousy, the first reaction is anger, even though there is no firm evidence to confirm the reason for your jealousy, by entering into an unhealthy dynamic, the jealous person may even accuse the other person unjustly.. Therefore, it is necessary to be realistic, and before letting these toxic feelings invade you, you should be as objective as possible.
3. Do not forbid
Excessively jealous people adopt behaviors of control over their partnerThey tell them how they should dress, who they should go with, etc. Nobody is going to be with you by obligation, reason why this behavior the only thing that is going to provoke is that the loving relation becomes toxic.
4. Don't become a detective
Insecurity leads a person to become obsessed with being in control of a partner, but also with wanting to know what the partner is doing all the time. For example, a jealous individual may want to know what their partner is doing through their social networks. There are people who even make use of their partner's account without their behavior. This behavior is not healthyIn addition to hurting the victim of jealousy, it also hurts the jealous person.
5. Do not speak without thinking
Impulsivity can appear at any time when the jealous person is not able to control his own emotions.
6. Do not call at all hours
This problem of impulsivity also causes the jealous person to want to know what the partner is doing all the time. And, in fact, in most cases, the jealous person is already on the defensive is already on the defensive even before speaking up.and therefore his or her attitude can be very aggressive. It is not good to be aware of your partner 24 hours a day.
7. Do not leave your life aside
The previous point is an example of how a relationship in which distrust and jealousy predominate, obsession makes an appearance. This happens because jealousy jealousy arises because of low self-esteem and insecurityand the jealous person is afraid of feeling abandoned. To overcome jealousy, the best alternative is to work on oneself.
How to stop being a jealous person
Taking into account the above points, how is it possible to stop being a jealous person?
1. Recognize that you are jealous
The previous points are examples of what a jealous person does, therefore, to detect them is the beginning to be able to get out of this complex situation.Do you behave as in the previous points? Then it is necessary that you look for a solution, even with professional help if necessary.
2. Do your part
Jealousy is to some extent a normal feeling. But some people, despite feeling this way, do their part so that the situation does not get out of hand. This is key to avoid getting into a vicious circle that hurts both partners in the relationship. If you want to change, the only one who can do it is you.
3. Be objective
At times, the emotions we feel cloud us, but we must be emotionally we must be emotionally intelligent and be objective about how we behave in certain situations with our partner.
4. Work on yourself
As I have already said, jealousy is often a consequence of low self-esteem and insecurity. For that reason it is necessary that, in the interest of leaving jealousy behind, people with this problem should work on their own personal development. When someone is happy with the life they have, is not looking for someone to fill this voidbut someone to add to it.
5. Improve communication
Improving communication with your partner is the best way to overcome jealousy, as it avoids many conflicts and prevents misinterpretations. Communicating correctly with your partner can increase the trust between both of you, because in this way each one knows the needs of the other and it is possible to negotiate for the good of both of you.
- If you want to know more about these strategies to stop feeling jealous, you can read this article: "How to stop being a jealous person? 12 ways to achieve it".
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)