Anna Karenina Syndrome: uncontrolled love

When you bet everything on the card of a very intense and passionate love, the relationship enslaves.

We all know someone who has at one time or another fallen in love in an obsessive and uncontrolled way. and uncontrolled. In fact, for many people, love is not conceivable if it is not that way. This interpersonal fusion taken to the limit, this feeling that you cannot live without the other, magnifying him or her, idealizing him or her, does not usually lead to a good outcome if it is not stopped in time.

In fact, this uncontrolled and boundless love alienates the person who suffers it, who stops feeling a complete and independent person and comes to believe that there is no life if it is not with the other, as happened to Anna Karenina. In this article we will talk about a concept that we could call Anna Karenina syndrome..

What is the Anna Karenina syndrome?

Anna Karenina is a fictional character that stars in the literary work of the same name, written by Lev Tolstoy in 1877. This classic of world literature reflects the tragic the tragic circumstances in which too intense and passionate love can lead to the death of a woman..

The protagonist, who is married in the novel, falls madly in love with another man, a military man named Vronsky, and ends up leaving everything for him. And everything is everything, her husband, her social position, her child, and finally her life.

The Anna Karenina Syndrome is related to an obsessive affective pattern characterized by an absolute dependence on the loved one. on the beloved figure. This affects in a considerable way the rest of the areas of life of the person, which lose importance and are overshadowed by THE OTHER with capital letters, who ends up embracing everything.

The sufferer of this syndrome, like the protagonist, is capable of anything to be by the side of the one he or she loves.

We have countless examples in the movies of this type of passionate uncontrollability.As is the case of Disney's little mermaid, who loses her condition of mermaid, abandons her family, her environment, even gives her voice in order to be by the side of her idealized loved one.

Is it therefore harmful to love intensely?

Contrary to what Hollywood and Top 40 hits sell us, loving obsessively is undoubtedly the worst form of love. Even though at first such emotional flooding may seem appealing, it can end up turning into aAlthough at first this emotional flood may seem attractive, it can end up becoming one of the worst illnesses a human being can experience.

This way of loving is linked to anguish: anguish at the thought that the loved one may stop loving us, anguish at not having him or her always by our side, anguish at the fear of being deceived. Therefore, "without you I am nothing" and "I can't live without you" are examples not to follow when assuming a role in a relationship. are examples not to follow when it comes to assuming a role in the relationship..

What are the consequences of this affective phenomenon?

The consequences of loving so intensely are many, from losing the vital course, fall in plummet of the self-esteem, loss of the own integrity and of the emotional balance.... To other more disastrous consequences, such as the ones that Anna carries out in the book.

Don't love me so much, love me better

It is recommended, therefore, not to focus on the quantity of love given or received, but on its quality. There are a number of aspects we can work on to avoid falling into this syndrome:

• Being the architects of our own happiness.. Not to look for it outside but inside. To join the other as companions of life, not as crutches, band-aids, nurses or psychologists.
• "Don't put all your eggs in one basket". Maintain friendships, hobbies, family relationships, and an enriching life beyond the couple relationship.
• Freedom for oneself and others. Maintain the limits of individuality and freedom of both partners.
• Not to love blindlybut consciously. To have our eyes wide open to the behavior of the other, and to take action if what we observe is not to our liking.