Assertiveness to seduce: 9 tricks to improve your communication

Nine tips that will help you communicate assertively on your dates.

Dating is always a potential trigger for stress and anxiety. The need to please the other person and avoid rejection avoid rejectionThe need for the other person to like us and to avoid rejection can play tricks on us, making us forget about our values and ourselves.

Assertiveness to improve communication

Having an assertive assertive communication will help us to be able to show ourselves in an adequate way avoiding falling into servitude and unattractive attitudes and behaviors that make us appear weak and submissive. Therefore, we will be able to communicate much better and connect emotionally with the person we have in front of us.

But what is assertiveness?

Assertiveness is a type of communication in which the person does not attack or submit to the will of others; a way of expressing oneself appropriately and congruently within the context and with oneself. It is useful to defend our ideas and rights without hurting or harming others, always acting with self-confidence.

Next, we will give you nine tips that will help you to communicate assertively on your dates and will help you to have the success and confidence you need so that your dates become a comfortable context in which to build a healthy and quality relationship.

1. Know yourself

To start communicating what we like and what we don't like, it is very important to know what we like and what we don't like. Although it may seem obvious, we often get carried away by others and our impulsivity, without taking into account our attitude and our values. A good exercise to start reflecting is to make a list; in the right column we put the things we like and in the left column the things we dislike.

2. Do not limit yourself

Having a belief system that works in our favor will help us to relate positively with others. Being distrustful will limit us and will provoke in us a permanent feeling of stress. We have to find a way to feel good about ourselves in order to feel good about ourselves so that we can feel good about others. Finding ways of thinking that do not make us fall into negativity and pessimism will help us overcome our social fear and will make us more extroverted people and overcome shyness.

3. What do you want to do?

It is legitimate to think about what we want to do. Trying to please our date will only make us forget about ourselves in a negative way and will show us to be weak and servile. It is important to to reach a consensus. Let's not forget that we have to be at ease. We should not confuse this with selfishness; it is simply a matter of not being uncomfortable in a place or doing an activity that we do not really like. After all, all we are doing is taking responsibility for ourselves. We have to take it as a negotiation, never as an imposition.

4. Do not repress yourself

If we don't like something, it is good to say it without fear. It is much worse to keep quiet and hold back. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone. On the contrary, expressing our opinions and values openly will help us to show ourselves as we are. show ourselves as we are and give us self-confidence.. We need not be afraid to express our tastes, be they musical, cinematographic or botanical. All this information will also be useful for the other person and will guide him/her to treat us better and more assertively.

5. Talk about how you feel

If at any time we have been annoyed or upset by a comment or action, it is good to talk about it, not to throw it in our face, but so that the mistake does not happen again and to avoid future problems. avoid future problems.. We have the right to be pleased and not to feel aggrieved.

6. Listen actively

Paying attention to what the other person tells us will guide us in knowing how to deal with him/her. But it is not only important to pay attention to the information transmitted. The tone of voice will give us information about the emotional state of the person. There are many ways of saying I love you; it is not the same to be told in a squeak as to be told in a whisper. The way they say things will help us understand what they mean.

7. Live and let live

There must be reciprocity in the treatment. Everyone has the right to be treated well and that means that, in some way, we are obliged to treat others well. We should respect the tastes and opinions and, if we do not like them, we must learn to communicate this without offending or attacking the other person.

8. Look, think, give your opinion

The cornerstone of assertive communication and of any communication lies in knowing how to adapt the message to the person who is going to receive it. Observing the behavior of othersObserving the behavior of others, and reading their non-verbal language correctly, will help us to know how they are and we will learn to know when and how to say things. We are not sentencing machines. Showing our opinion and communicating it in a way that is appropriate to the context and to our relationship with the interlocutor will be the most effective way of not falling into aggression or imposition and we will make him/her feel comfortable, as well as we will be creating a framework of trust.

9. Apologize

Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, we will offend without meaning to. It's okay to apologize politely. Humans are not perfect machines, we make mistakes just like cats and panda bears. If at some point we don't act assertively, it's okay. Apologize sincerelyby downplaying our mistake will help others to realize that we are human. In this way, apologizing for others' mistakes will help us to be more assertive and confident because others are human like us.

Conclusions

In summary, we do not have to be afraid to say our opinions as long as we show them in a coherent way without imposing anything on anyone.

We have the right to be treated well and to act accordingly to our demands. Positive thoughts will help us to overcome shyness and make us lose our fear of being judged and of having to defend ourselves against others. Observing others and knowing how to treat them will facilitate our communication and help us to express our opinions without fear of offending or being judged.