Can a relationship be resumed after an infidelity?

To what extent does an infidelity end the health of a love relationship?

It is very common, both in our daily life and in the professional field of a psychologist, that we meet cases of couples in which there is an infidelity. In these situations the question usually arises... is it preferable to break off the relationship or can it continue?

In this article we will examine the question of whether it is possible to resume the relationship after an infidelityWith all that this entails, or it is better to end this bond of couple.

The importance of shared values

It is important to emphasize that the situation and the suffering that can be generated will depend largely on the values that sustain a relationship. If in the couple's values the rupture of monogamy is not seen as a betrayal, obviously, the suffering is much less or non-existent.

It is also important to know what type of infidelity we are talking about (sexual, more emotional, digital...) and how both partners perceive it.

Equally important is to assess why the infidelity has occurred; especially, if it has happened because of a basic problem in the relationship that needs to be solved, such as the routine of the relationship.It is equally important to assess why the infidelity occurred, especially if it is due to an underlying problem in the relationship that needs to be resolved, such as the couple's routine or a pattern of behavior based on a lack of impulse control, among other causes.

Intervention in couples therapy

The psychologist will help to find out why the infidelity has occurred, but it is not a question of looking for "guilty parties" but rather of finding possible deficiencies in the relationship or specific behaviors that can be improved.

Well then, This is a complex and personal question, but one in which the psychologist can help.How can he/she do it? Why is professional help convenient in these situations?

It is a complex issue that can generate great suffering for both parties. Obviously the person who has been unfaithful feels bad, but, also the person who has been unfaithful usually has to deal with feelings of guilt, frustration...

The person who has been unfaithful may feel lost, not knowing whether to forgive, whether to break off the relationship, whether to take revenge, whether to be angry or sad... The person who has been unfaithful does not know how to act, whether to talk about it, whether to talk about it or not. does not know how to act, whether to talk about it, whether to keep quiet, whether to be more affectionateThe person who has been unfaithful does not know how to act, whether to talk about it, whether to keep quiet, whether to be more affectionate, whether to act normally... and this, in turn, generates a tension in the relationship that makes it very difficult to live together and can wear it down to the point of breaking up.

Is it possible to resume the love relationship?

It is true that if both have gone to therapy together and wish to continue with their relationship (we find situations in which only one party is the one who goes to therapy), that will be what is sought in the first instance, but if the relationship does not allow them to be happy, which is more common if in addition to infidelity there are other insurmountable shortcomings. other insurmountable shortcomings, tools will be given so that the person detects it and is able to continue on his or her own.

We have to bear in mind that it will always be the person who comes to the consultation who will make the decisions.. The psychologist cannot tell you if you have to continue the relationship or not, but can give you tools to work on the expression of feelings, to work on forgiveness, guilt, self-esteem, confidence ..... and that the relationship can continue if you both decide, working so that this infidelity does not mean the end of the breakup if it is not what you want and working so that this infidelity does not involve a trauma that affects the present and future of the person.

Located in Valencia is the center of psychology Mariva Psicólogos, specialized in couple therapy and, in particular, in the work of infidelity problems. In this center emotions as well as the behavior of both parties are worked on, as well as the couple'sIn this center we work on the emotions as well as the behavior of both parties, as well as the couple's communication and decide whether to work on forgiveness, if they are in the process of anger and rage, if they should work on confidence, etc.

In short, we work so that the couple and each part of this (ie, both people) are well at an emotional level. To this end, strategies are developed to accompany them in their decisions, giving them the tools to achieve their goals, so that the couple's relationship can solve their problems or that, separately, they can find themselves well. To access the contact details of the Mariva Psicólogos team, click here.

Author: Lda. Marta Marín