Couple crisis after the first baby: causes and what to do

The arrival of the first child can lead to conflicts within the couple.

The couple's crisis after the first baby represents a challenge for the parents, who must face this situation with the best possible disposition, bearing in mind that they are no longer in contact with each other.They must face this situation with the best possible disposition, bearing in mind that it is no longer just about them, but that they must also think of the needs of this new member of the family.

Of course, this is not a phenomenon that everyone has to go through when having a son or daughter, but it is relatively common and leads many to seek professional help in psychotherapy.

In this article we will see what this crisis is about, what are some of its main triggers, and we will expose a series of key tips to overcome it in the best way.

What is a couple's crisis after the first baby?

This crisis has its origin in changes in the couple's dynamics. Becoming parents means accepting a new role in the couple's life; it is no longer just about the two parents, and this can be difficult to cope with at first.

Changes in the parents' schedules and routines are one of the main causes of are one of the main causes of the couple's crisis after the first baby, because sometimes it will be necessary to devote time to the new child and have less free time.

The couple may have frequent arguments about whose turn it is over the issue of whose turn it is to take care of the baby's needs, and in many cases there is a lack of time to be alone.

When one partner takes care of the newborn while the other works, conflicts may arise in the form of recrimination from the partner who is in charge of the baby's care.

Causes of crisis in the couple after the first child

Let's see a list of the main causes that trigger this crisis in the couple.

1. The baby is the priority

It is an irrefutable fact that babies require all the attention and care from their parents and care from their parents, and that is why the couple must understand that some of their activities take second place.

When either or both partners resist this change, then conflict and frustration ensue due to accumulated stress. frustration in the face of accumulated stress..

2. The mother distances herself from the father

This distancing occurs because, in general, the mother is completely focused on the baby, due to gender roles that are passed down through the generations. She takes care of the baby's basic needs and in many cases there is social pressure for her "default" choice to devote her free time to caring for the child.

As a consequence of these new occupations, she may incur in an involuntary omission towards her partner, which may lead to a crisis.

3. The sexual act

The arrival of the new member of the family, and the implications that come with it, are going to diminish the sex in the couple. At least for a while, this area will be compromised due to lack of time and the fact by lack of time and by the fact of having less energy..

When this issue is not assimilated in the right way, and the parents do not talk about it with each other, then conflicts between them will intensify.

4. Responsibilities at home

One aspect that, although it may seem trivial in principle, has a decisive impact on the crisis that arises after the first child. It happens that it is no longer so easy to distribute time and household activities in an equitable manner..

Generally, it will be one of you who will have to take care of these matters, while the other takes care of the baby. This change in household chores can lead to constant disagreements and arguments.

5. Difficult stress management as a couple

Many parents have to face the problem of, on the one hand, managing the discomfort and stress of the workload involved in raising a baby, and on the other hand, not feeling guilty for complaining too much. This idea can damage a relationship, because it leads some people to put on "a mask" for fear of appearing selfish, and they opt for a non-transparent communication style in which many problems remain unexpressed. This gives rise to misunderstandings, emotional imbalances, a lack of vision of the a lack of vision of the couple's relationship as a joint project, etc.etc.

Postpartum depression

Another issue that may be related to this crisis is postpartum depression. When women experience the birth of a child, they present a series of alterations at the hormonal level, which are a natural response to this experience. that are a natural response to this experience.

In some cases, this change in their hormones can make them somewhat sensitive, causing them to present a depressive state of varying intensity for a period of time, although it is more common for none of this to occur. When it happens, the understanding of the partner and the support of the family are fundamental for the woman to overcome this situation for the woman to overcome this situation adequately.

How to face this crisis?

In these lines we will see some useful tips that can be useful for coping with this situation in the couple.

1. Do not avoid the crisis

This first point refers to the importance of accepting that you are going through a difficult situation. After acceptance, the couple can begin to consider the best solutions to the problems that arise.

2. Recognize the sources of discussion

Generally there are everyday situations that end in arguments. If we are able to identify what these triggers are, then we may be able to prevent fights. we will be able to prevent fights..

3. Assertive communication

Communication in the couple is a fundamental factor so that the relationship is solid and the bond of love is strengthened.. If we are able to express our emotions and feelings clearly and appropriately, it will be easier to reach a solution together with our partner.

4. Couples therapy

Attending couple's therapy is an important decision that should be discussed so that both partners have the possibility of expressing their expectations, concerns and worries. to express their expectations, worries and needs.. Once you agree on several basic points, it will be easier for the process to evolve properly together with the therapist.