Dealing with "difficult" and disobedient children: 7 practical tips

Discipline problems with your child? Here are some educational guidelines.

It is a fact that childhood seems to be a stage specially designed to build human beings with little attachment to social norms and taking responsibility.

It makes sense that this is so, since at this time of life it is more important to know what the world is like than to learn to fit perfectly into it, being that it is not yet fully known. However, this may mean that in many parts of the world there are millions of adults dealing with youngsters who need rules to live by but who at the same time are very reluctant to follow them.

How do you raise a complicated child?

This is, to some extent, unavoidable: all children carry within them the rebellious spirit typical of someone who wants to explore everything that cannot be covered by adult explanations. However, this does not mean that there are not certain attitudes and strategies to make the education of the little ones something more bearable.

Here you have 7 tips that can be useful to improve your way of relating to disobedient children.

1. Set aside some time to communicate with them.

Nobody likes to follow rules that make no sense to them. For this reason, the delimitation of what can and cannot be done must be accompanied by an explanation of why these rules are useful.. Concrete examples can be given to illustrate more easily the dangers avoided by certain rules, for example, or the advantages of following certain steps in doing things.

2. Emphasize the positive

It is helpful to let children know how well they follow the rules. certain basic standards and recognize their efforts when they apply themselves to following the rules. This, in addition to helping to bond with them, influences their self-image and will lead them to assume that they are people who are good at following certain disciplinary exercises. Thus, the possibility of breaking the rules will become less attractive.

3. Don't show discrepancies or inconsistencies.

Rules are useful if they are well established. Therefore, adults should not question the rules, adults should not question these rules in front of children.The idea that no rule has to be adequate could be generalized to all of them. Likewise, it is best not to make these behavioral guidelines remain unchanged if there are no good reasons to do so.

4. Don't always look for the source of the problem in the child.

Some rules are simply are inadequate. They may be very difficult to follow, may not be well justified or may not be well adapted to the goal to which they are oriented. The youngest members of the household are curious and active by nature and it is usually difficult for them to follow the behavioral guidelines given to them by adults: that is why it is important that these are appropriate.

5. Do without rewards as much as possible.

Rules should not be based on rewardsas these give rise to a type of extrinsic extrinsic motivation. Ideally, the little ones should see the fulfillment of these rules as something positive, either because it reinforces their self-esteem or because they find it stimulating to comply with these mini-objectives.

6. Don't respond to their tantrums with more aggression.

Dealing with episodes in which a child externalizes his or her anger should not provoke the same type of anger in us. In these situations, the actions of a caregiver or educator must be oriented towards the education of the other personThe best thing to do is to try to calm him or her down, for example, by hugging his or her body, and wait for a while before addressing the subject of rules and homework. Therefore, the best thing to do is to try to calm him or her down, for example, by hugging his or her body, and wait for a while until the subject of rules and homework is broached. In this way, you will address these issues at a time when you are both receptive.

7. Accept that there are things about them that you can't change.

Education is partly about helping young people function well in the real world and understand how the culture around them works. However, that doesn't mean that educating requires ironing out all the kinks in children's lives to the point to the point where they conform perfectly to the archetype of the model child. If you are the parent of these little ones, admitting that there are aspects of every child that you can't control can make parenthood more bearable.

One more tip: learn the importance of fostering healthy self-esteem in your child.

When children have a balanced and positive self-concept about themselves, they are able to cope with everyday life in a much healthier way. For the child to enjoy this good self-esteem it is very important that parents have in mind certain techniques and habits.

You can find out by reading this post: "10 strategies to improve your child's self-esteem".