Differences between punishment and limit (in children’s education)

Key concepts in children's education. Do you know what exactly differentiates them?

Something basic to facilitate coexistence is to try to keep our behavior around parameters that we call social norms. If sometimes adults perceive these parameters as arbitrary and illogical, it is even more common for children to have difficulties in assimilating them and acting in accordance with them.

During the process (of recognizing and respecting norms), adults are key players, since it is largely through us that they learn what they are expected to do and what they are not expected to do. Specifically, our influence has to do with how we teach what the limits are and what happens if they are not respected.

In this article we will look at some of the differences between limits and punishment.This is one of the proposals of modern pedagogy to maintain a respectful educational style that at the same time transmits to the child some of the necessary guidelines for living together.

• "The 6 stages of childhood (physical and psychological development)".

Authority or negotiation?

Since educational models began to be "child-centered", early childhood education has moved from a model of authority (where adults were the ones who gave the orders and children simply followed them); to a model rather based on negotiation, where the child's own needs must be taken into account and not only those of the adult.

In this sense, when using concepts such as rules, discipline, limits and authority in early childhood education, we generally do not speak of an authoritarian model that suggests domination, but of a model that seeks coexistence, respect, tolerance and responsibility for one's own actions.

However, the negotiation-based model has generated some difficulties, the negotiation-based model has generated some difficulties, not only for children but also for caregivers and educators.However, the negotiation-based model has generated some difficulties, not only for children but also for caregivers and educators, as it sometimes turns into a totally permissive and overprotective parenting style.

What does "setting limits" mean?

Setting limits is necessary because in this way we teach children that they cannot do absolutely everything they want without considering how it affects other people.

It even helps develop other skills, such as recognizing one's own limits and how others should or should not approach them.It can also help children recognize and set clear limits on self-demand in the long run.

In practical terms, setting a limit consists of specifying to the child when, how and where a behavior is not allowed; and when, how and where it is allowed.

For example, when young children are in the process of understanding risky behaviors, it is common for them to approach dangerous spaces and do things like sticking their fingers in electrical outlets, putting their hand on the stove, running into cars, etc.

In addition to taking the necessary and classic measures such as covering electrical outlets, it is also helpful to tell them in short, firm sentences and simple words, "not here". It is also important to set clear limits regarding the approach of others, especially so that they can distinguish their personal space and the space of others.

Finally, setting limits is not the same as delimiting or even imposing rules, which do not necessarily facilitate coexistence, but do correspond to the values and values of the child. but do correspond to the values of each context. For example, getting good grades or not sleeping after 10:00 pm is a rule that varies according to the dynamics that exist in different spaces.

Differences between limit and punishment

After setting a limit, what follows is the child's response. Generally, children do not respect the limit at the first indication, although it can also happen that they do not respect the limit at the second or third indication, which is followed by another response from the adult.

In the following we will know the differences between limits and punishments..

1. The limit is only the indication, the punishment is the response.

The limit is only the indication, the punishment is the response to the child's behavior.. The limit is then the specification of what is not allowed and the punishment is the response of the adult, once the child has not respected that specification. Punishment is usually charged with emotions such as anger, so it is more a response of the adult for venting, which has little effect, or may even have negative effects, on the child's education and discipline.

2. The limit anticipates a consequence, the punishment is not anticipated.

The limit anticipates the consequence, the punishment is the unanticipated consequence.. Being a specification, the limit makes the child recognize certain rules, which he may or may not respect. Punishment is the adult's response that is not anticipated (it is given arbitrarily by the adult).

3. Punishment has no coherence with the behavior or the limit.

The main characteristic of the punishment is that it has no relation or logic with the child's behavior or with the limit that has been set.. For example, when the child is denied TV time for some inappropriate behavior at school.

How to establish logical consequences instead of punishment?

The concept of "consequence" applied in education has many of its antecedents in the philosophy of Maria Montessori, an Italian physician and pedagogue who laid the foundations for the development of an entire psycho-pedagogical method that is currently very popular.

Based on her studies, Montessori realized that children are capable of disciplining and regulating themselves; but this is a process that is largely achieved through the accompaniment and guidelines generated by adults.

Thus, she concludes that we must convey to children that behaviors have natural and logical consequences.. For example, that if they walk without paying attention to nearby objects, they can hit themselves (natural consequence).

Or, for example, that if a child hits another child, the other child will not only cry or get angry, but it is important that the child offers an apology (logical consequence). For this type of consequence, adult intervention is necessary.

Therefore, a consequence, in addition to being what occurs in response to any behavior, is also a guideline that allows us to recognize or anticipate what may happen when a limit is crossed or ignored.

By allowing the consequence to be anticipated, what we favor is the child's self-regulation; and that the adult no longer depends on anger to facilitate it, because the child relates his behavior to the consequence, which will allow him to avoid it later on.

Likewise, it is important that the child not only learns how not to behave, but how to behave; that is, to give him an alternative tool to satisfy his need (e.g., asking for things or expressing anger, instead of hitting).

Characteristics of a logical consequence:

Consequences and limits are not recipes that can be applied equally to all children, they vary according to the needs and characteristics of both the context and the caregivers or educators, as well as the child's own development.

In line with the above we are going to list some important things about what a logical consequence looks like, which may be useful depending on the case:

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• ImmediateIt occurs at the moment of the behavior, not two weeks or months later, when the child no longer remembers what he/she did or is already accustomed to the fact that this behavior is allowed; because in addition, if a long time passes, it is more difficult for him/her to understand what the alternative is.
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• SeguraFulfill what we anticipate (for example, do not anticipate that there will be no recess time if we know that in the end we will give the child recess time). We must be sure and certain that it is within our power to facilitate a logical consequence.
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• ConsistentLogical consequences are related to the child's behavior (e.g., in a classroom: "If you are playing at study time, then you will have to work at the time we set aside for play"; instead of "If you are playing at work time, you will leave the classroom"). As for behaviors that occur at school, it is important that they have a consequence right there; do not apply them at home if they have nothing to do with it.