Do you self-actualize or enslave yourself?

Self-realization can be confused with obligations that we embrace as if they were not imposed.

Have you ever wondered what happiness is? Your answer is likely to coincide with something material, such as having money. But it may also be the case that your answer relates to the satisfaction of some goal you have set for yourself, such as finishing a degree; or achieving your highest desire, such as living in Miami. How nice it would be to achieve it, wouldn't it?

But have you ever stopped to think if you really need to get it to be happy? What is the price you are paying for it?

Talking about Needs

From Maslow's Theory of Human Motivation (1943), author belonging to the humanistic current of psychology, human beings have a series of universal needs. Satisfying all of them would lead us to a state of complete personal well-being and, thus, to happiness. To satisfy these needs, drives and motivations arise. Maslow thus proposes a pyramid of needs.

• PhysiologicalThe base of the pyramid. Biological needs that ensure survival, such as eating or sleeping.
• NeedNeeds: more related to the feeling of confidence and peace of mind.
• Affiliationsocial needs related to family, social environment, etc.
• Recognition: to achieve prestige, recognition, etc.
• Self-actualizationSelf-actualization : top of the pyramid. Related to spiritual or moral development, search for a mission in life, desire to grow, etc.

Happiness in today's world

These needs drive our motivation. Thus, according to this author, happiness would be achieved through the satisfaction of all of them.. And, although there are some controversies, it seems that Maslow's Pyramid is quite widespread among the population. The problem comes when we commonly mistake the concept of self-actualization with the maximum achievement of our goals and we focus only on that, leaving aside other needs or motivations.

The current moment we are going through is characterized by the collective idea that "every effort has its reward". In this way, the idea of constant effort together with the somewhat competitive world in which we live, can awaken a similar one: "if we want to go far, we must be the best". And this is how, in one way or another, we begin to immerse ourselves in a spiral of striving for achievement that is never fully satisfied. that is never fully satisfied.

A very typical example are those parents who instill in their children that a 9 is better than an 8 and that, despite having obtained an 8, they should make an effort to improve until they get a better grade. And after the 9, comes the 10. It is as if we always have to reach the top.

In this way, from an early age, we establish internal rules through which we categorize our achievements: important and less important. This labeling and the pursuit of goals could be adaptive, as it gives meaning to our lives.It gives meaning to our lives.

But are we really "self-actualizing"? The moment we stop doing the things we love on a permanent basis to devote ourselves entirely to this academic or work endeavor, self-enslavement arises, so to speak. That is, we have gone from fighting for our interests and our goals in a healthy way, to becoming slaves to them. We are gradually losing everything that also gave us gratification, such as going out to the movies, being with friends or walking through a park.

How can we avoid it?

Some recommendations are the following.

1. Don't stop doing what we have always liked to do.

Although it is true that we may like our work so much that it almost becomes our hobby, we should try to have another type of alternative leisure time. try to have another type of alternative leisure that allow us to relax and disconnect, such as reading novels, watching movies, going for a run, etc.

2. Set realistic and sequential goals.

This is the key to not getting frustrated.

3. Take breaks

Not only to perform other tasks, but simply to be with ourselves, to be with ourselves. Meditation can be a good way to rest and, in addition, it can produce many other positive effects.

4. Plan and organize your time

It is important to keep in mind that, if we plan well, we can find time to do what we feel like doing at that moment.

5. Accept ourselves

Each of us has unique limitations and characteristics. Accept them and make the most of your qualities..

Bibliographical references:

• Maslow, A. H. (1943). A Theory of Human Motivation. Psychological Review, 50, 370-396.