Does the ideal partner exist, or is it just a fantasy?

Some people orient their love life towards the search for the ideal partner. Is this useful?

It is quite normal that, when we stop to evaluate what other people mean to us, we draw very radical conclusions, without half measures. When it comes to feelings, we tend not to see gray: everything is either black or white. Maybe this has to do with our need to believe that our lives have meaning because we are linked to exceptional people, but at the end of the day, experience shows us that we are all flawed.

Now... what happens when we specifically focus on the world of matchmaking? After all, even though everyone has imperfections, we can come to believe in the ideal partner, we can come to believe in the ideal partner. Simply put, this would be the one that, regardless of its flaws, fits us perfectly.

But is this a reasonable idea, or is it just a fantasy? In the end, just as we may believe that perfect people do not exist, we may consider that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. relationships free of any flaws do not exist either.Do ideal couples really exist?

What is an ideal partner?

As we have seen, the main characteristic of an ideal partner is that, in theory, he or she is 100% compatible with us. Someone who, for example, has some weaknesses that are compensated by the strengths of the person with whom he or she maintains a loving bond. Or, on the other hand, someone who is able to adapt to the needs of the other person.

This description of what an ideal partner is should keep us away from that stereotypical idea of husbands or wives who are smiling all day long and constantly showing a and constantly showing a facet of a TV character in a series for the whole family. An ideal couple has its bad moments, but these do not completely break the dynamic of the relationship.

This idea is not entirely far-fetched, but there is a catch. This trap is that the simple fact of having as a reference the concept of "ideal partner" can lead us to underestimate those people who really are perfectly valid to occupy an essential position in our lives. Having our expectations fixed on an ideal distracts us from the people of flesh and blood, those who really exist.those who really exist.

The refuge of expectations

With the concept of the ideal partner, something similar happens with people who, instead of changing their reality, are content imagining a better one.

Fantasizing about being with a perfect person may be pleasant, but it cannot be a substitute for a real affective life. After all, in and of itself, someone who exists only in our imagination need not have characteristics that disappoint us. The fact of imagining someone perfect implies that we will imagine someone incomplete..

On the other hand, someone real does have hundreds of characteristics that are not ideal, but that is because they exist: because their physique is one way and not another as it suits us, because their personality does not depend on our interests at any given moment. does not depend on our interests at any given momentand because their abilities have to do with a whole history of learning and passing through life, not with the improvisation of the activity of fantasizing.

A type of loneliness in disguise

The search for the perfect partner is, paradoxically enough, a way of engaging in loneliness and perpetuating isolation. As long as a person has in mind the idea that his or her love life should be centered on the search for someone ideal, not only will he or she feel separated from other people because of an emotional barrier.

In addition, such a situation may entail the danger of the danger that you will commit yourself in the long run to that isolation that she doesn't really enjoy, but that she strives to nurture.

Why? Because if someone believes that he is waiting for the ideal partner, he finds in that belief a justification for his loneliness. He dresses it up in a disguise of nobility, of romanticism, as if going through that long wait would make us better. or expose us more to the possibilities of reaching a person who by definition does not exist.

When someone realizes that he or she has been investing time and money in a search that shows no signs of being soon determined, he or she becomes obsessed with continuing with it, to make sense of past sacrifices.

This obsession can become even more dangerous if it has to do with the search for the ideal person. The reason for this is that whoever is serious about the idea of the perfect partner, will probably have reserved for that imaginary figure a very important role in the life one hopes to have. in the life one hopes to have in the future.

A trap in love

In conclusion, the idea of the ideal partner is not only unrealistic. It can also be harmful to some people who are prone to take this concept too seriously. Living from an imagined future does not usually compensate for the frustrations of the present.