Dysfunctional perfectionism: causes, symptoms and treatment

Some people take their self-demands to the extreme, and this can lead to disorders or anxiety.

Do you find it hard to enjoy doing nothing?Do you feel guilty for not having done what you think you should have done, or do you think you should always be able to do things better?

Are you never satisfied with the things you do, when you achieve something you set out to do, are you only able to enjoy it for a short period of time, do you criticize yourself if you do not reach the goal you set out to achieve, do you focus too much on your mistakes, do you feel like a failure if you do not achieve what you set out to do, do you tend to leave things for tomorrow or for the last day, do you tend to leave things for tomorrow or for the last day, do you feel like a failure if you do not achieve what you set out to do, do you tend to leave things for tomorrow or for the last day?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, it is very likely that this article will be of interest to you, as you may have fallen into perfectionism. you may have fallen into dysfunctional perfectionism.. A phenomenon that, in spite of not being in itself a mental disorder, can get to produce serious headaches to us.

What is dysfunctional perfectionism?

Dysfunctional perfectionism (in English, "maladaptative perfectionism"), is the establishment and the effort to fulfill too demanding quality standards (high goals) for oneself. (high goals) for oneself, which are self-imposed and relentlessly pursued despite the suffering they generate.

It consists of focusing on mistakes rather than on the process and progress of the task, being excessively self-critical when goals are not met (even labeling the achievement as a failure) and valuing the achievement of goals in all-or-nothing terms (things are done either "right" or "wrong"). In addition, the perfectionist persists despite the occurrence of adverse consequences (social isolation, insomnia, depression...).

Finally, it is about basing one's self-esteem almost exclusively on how well these lofty goals are pursued or achieved. This means that the self-esteem of these people is very fragile and changeable: one day they may feel competent and happy for having achieved their goals, and the next day feel inept or unsuccessful and think they are "not worth it.".

Areas of life in which one can be a perfectionist

Perfectionism can be present in every aspect of life. Some people will only be perfectionists in one area, such as work, but it is more common to have several life focuses where perfectionism comes to the fore.

Let's take a look at some examples, in which you may feel identified:

• Work and/or studies.The following are some of the things you can do: not making any mistakes at work, pretending to be the best, knowing everything, dedicating a lot of time to your tasks so that they are as perfect as possible...
• Sport and exercise: to get a certain body (slim, slender, muscular...), to devote superhuman efforts to achieve it, to go every day to the gym religiously to achieve that goal, to swim at least X kilometers a day...
• Physical appearance and/or weight: devote a lot of effort to take care of your physical appearance, weigh less than "X" kilos, always be in the latest fashion, be perfectly groomed and perfectly made up...
• Personal hygiene: to be spotless at all times and at all costs.
• Friendships and social relationsbeing the best friend, always being there unconditionally in spite of your own problems or obligations, always being "interesting and fun".
• Music and other hobbies: spending hours and hours trying to compose the best music song of the last century, discarding what has been composed because "it's not good enough".
• Appearance of a person's homeExcessive concern when guests come to the house, having the house totally tidy and clean, worrying about what guests might think...
• Care of one's childrenConcern and efforts to be the best parent in the world.
• IntellectIntellect : pretending to know everything perfectly, forcing oneself to read about particularly complex subjects...

In short, any area that is important to that person. When dysfunctional perfectionism affects a hobby, such as music, it can become a source of anxiety rather than pleasure. From the moment the activity is performed to achieve a very demanding (and often unrealistic) goal and the process itself is not enjoyed, the activity may lose the playful and pleasurable connotation that it originally had.

Most important components of dysfunctional perfectionism

According to Shafran, Egan and Wade (2010), the essential components of dysfunctional perfectionism are:

• Very high, demanding, and self-critical quality standards.
• Efforts to meet high standards despite negative effects on the individual (suffering)
• Basing self-evaluation on achieving or approaching those standards
• Low tolerance for failure and/or mistakes, with corresponding excessive self-criticism
• Cognitive rigidity
• Attentional bias towards the negative: they identify all the details that they have done wrong or that have moved them away from the high standard. When the perfectionist goal is achieved, it is often disregarded or minimized.
• They often call themselves a "fraud" or a "failure as a person."

What are goals or high standards?

Setting goals and targets in life is completely natural and even adaptive, but in the case of perfectionists it can be a problem.. It should be considered this way because by not achieving such goals, perfectionists can criticize themselves in a very unfair way, as if they were living a life of penance and self-flagellation, and persist in their efforts despite suffering. The concept of "lofty goal" is very relative, because what may be demanding for one person may not be so for another (e.g., for one person swimming 4 kilometers a day may be very demanding and demanding, but for Mireia Belmonte it may be a piece of cake). What should be clear is that a standard is high when it is self-imposed by the person with perfectionism, is perceived as demanding (it requires a lot of effort and sacrifice) and is rigidly pursued. But, if I set high standards for myself, does it mean that I tend to have dysfunctional perfectionism? It is important to clarify that it is not enough to have personally demanding standards to speak of dysfunctional perfectionism; a person can feel satisfaction in working to achieve these standards and allow himself to be flexible with his goals when the situation requires it (Shafran, Cooper and Fairburn, 2002).

Negative Consequences of Dysfunctional Perfectionism

The following are the most frequent negative consequences:

• EmotionalDepression (sadness, low mood in general) and anxiety (restlessness and stress).
• SocialSocial isolation, loss of friends, competition to be the best.
• Limited interestslimited interests: focused almost solely on one task (e.g., focused on work and leaving no time for socializing) and limiting pleasurable activities because they do not allow the pursuit of lofty goals (e.g., never reading or watching a series for no other purpose than enjoyment).
• PhysicalPhysical: exhaustion, Muscle tension, digestive problems.
• CognitiveCognitive : frequent rumination (thinking about mistakes made over and over again, going over them, self-criticizing for not having corrected them in time), low concentration.
• Behavioral: checking for errors, repetition of tasks, excessive time to do something, procrastination...

One of the most noticeable global consequences is low self-esteem. In other words, perfectionism is not the cause of low self-esteem, but "feeds" it. A person with low self-esteem is more likely to take refuge in perfectionism in order to excel at something and thus be valued positively by himself and others.

Relationship with procrastination or postponement

Procrastination, the habit of postponing tasks until the last moment, is a behavior until the last moment, is a very common behavior among perfectionists. There are several reasons for procrastination:

• Worry and fear of making a mistake or doing it wrong.
• Thinking that the activity will require a lot of time due to our self-demand.
• Worry about not being able to do things perfectly.
• If things don't go as one would like, one can always resort to the old excuse of "I left it to the last minute, that's why it didn't go as well as I would like, not because I'm not capable".

Is there treatment?

It must be taken into account that dysfunctional perfectionism is not a disorder. and, therefore, there is no specific treatment to manage it. However, it is possible to speak of psychological intervention aimed at modifying the habits and beliefs on which it is based.

As each person has his or her own reasons for falling into extreme perfectionism, personalized attention is necessary to modify the way in which we relate to our expectations; in this sense, intervention based on cognitive-behavioral models is often the most common is usually the most recurrent option, since it influences both internalized ideas and observable day-to-day actions.

Bibliographical references:

• Shafran, R., Cooper, Z. and Fairburn, C.G. (2002). Clinical perfectionism: a cognitive-behavioural analysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 40, 773-791.
• Shafran, R., Egan, S., & Wade, T. (2010). Overcoming perfectionism: A self-help manual using cognitive-behavioural techniques. London: Robinson.
• Egan, S.J., Wade, T.D., Shafran, R. y Antony, M.M. (2014). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of perfectionism. Nueva York: Guilford.