Egodystonic: what is it and how does it differ from the concept of egosyntonic?

We review the meaning of this concept used in Psychology.

Being oneself. Doing what we consider right, regardless of what others say. These two phrases may seem practically synonymous, and often go hand in hand in such a way that thanks to their combination we can live the life we want to live, a life that is full and coherent with itself.

And yet, for many people at some point or aspect of their lives both elements can become contradictory: it is possible that a part of our being and our beliefs come into conflict. These elements or parts are considered egodystonic, a term we are going to talk about in this article.

Egodystonic: definition of this term

The concept of egodystonia, from which the adjective egodystonic is derived, refers to the existence of some characteristic or element which generates discomfort or discomfort to the person or persons who possess it due to the fact that it contradicts or is incongruent with the values, way of being or thinking or beliefs of such persons.

As implied by the prefix ego, this element contrary to one's beliefs is either part or a product of the self: it is a negation of the self.. It generally refers to the existence of acts, attitudes, thoughts or even physical aspects performed or held by a person that are contrary to what his or her value or belief system admits. Cognitive dissonance is then created, a discomfort or suffering derived from the perception of the incongruence between one thought and another, which can lead to the acts or thoughts maintained being deeply criticized internally.

This can lead to a frustrating situation which, if repeated frequently or if the disagreement cannot be expressed or resolved, will lead to the experience of stress and can even lead to psychopathology. Thus, something egodystonic will be problematic as long as something is not done to stop it.

The opposite concept: egosyntonic

Understanding the concept of egodystonia is much easier if we also value its opposite: egosyntonia. Egosyntonic is defined as any thought, attribute or action possessed or performed by a person that is congruent with the scale of values and beliefs that he/she holds..

Thus, the egosyntonic is what results from following one's own convictions: what each of us believes to be right. The fact that our thoughts, attributes, ways of being or doing, and specific actions are egosyntonic can make their existence emotionally satisfying (although it may entail negative reactions or repercussions from the environment), especially if it is something that requires effort on our part. However, given that it is what we consider that "should be", it is also very common that we often do not notice them (since there is no incongruity) and even that they generate indifference in us.

Although egodystonic obviously causes us suffering, the truth is that it has something positive: it indicates that there is a dissociation between belief and situation/thought/action.In this way, it allows us to assess the element in question and/or the beliefs behind the conflict and to reevaluate them and work towards achieving wellbeing. If there were no such discomfort, trying to change something would be difficult to say the least, as there would be no motivation to do so.

What can cause something to be/become egodystonic?

The causes of the existence of egodystonic elements can be very variable. They can range from the fear of living or performing actions or thoughts despite not wanting to do them, or the fear of being judged or the repercussions of doing something that we do want to do and is in line with our being.

Other possible reasons are the belief in the merging or equating of thought and action (considering that thinking something is the same as doing it), the overvaluation of a specific act or thought in relation to a scale of values or the existence of high self-demand. Personality is another factor to take into account.

Likewise, in all or almost all cases there is also the influence of culturally acquired values and learning. Another element that can affect to a great extent are the upbringing and parental models, as well as the learning of behavioral models where self-criticism prevails. Obedience to authority or the effect of perceived social pressure (whether real or not) also has a great influence on whether something can be or become egodystonic.

Situations in which it may appear

Although the term egodystonic is not frequently used, the fact is that what it implies happens constantly and in a wide variety of situations and conditions. Here are four examples.

1. Socio-cultural conditioning linked to sex or sexuality

Education and the socio-cultural vision of things that has been transmitted to us throughout our lives can also contribute to the emergence of egodystonic elements, which is especially relevant when the problem is found in elements that are part of our being.

This is the case of sexual orientation: those people with a sexual orientation other than heterosexual have traditionally seen their sexual preferences attacked and persecuted, considered sinful or unhealthy. The same happens with those with a gender or sexual identity other than cisgender (as in the case of transgender people), persecuted until not so long ago for having an identity different from the one considered their own because of their birth sex.

That is why some homosexual, bisexual or transgender people among others may come to experience their sexual orientation or gender identity in an aversive and egodystonic way, as something negative and/or shameful. This means that they hide and deny a very relevant part of their being, something that can lead to the emergence of isolation and not living a free and full life, in addition to being able to suffer problems such as depression, anxiety or other psychological disorders.

2. Eating disorders

A case of mental disorder in which the existence of egodystonia can be easily observed is in eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia. These two disorders involve the existence of severe perceptual distortions with respect to one's own body, as well as fear of gaining weight and reduced or altered intake.

Thus, for those affected by this type of disorder, their own weight or body shape would be egodystonic, since it is contrary to what they would like to have.

3. Obsessive-compulsive disorder

OCD or obsessive-compulsive disorder is one of the mental disorders in which egodystonic elements appear. Specifically, the obsessive thoughts that people with this disorder have, which are defined as constantly appearing in the psyche and which are experienced as intrusive and contrary to their will, are usually totally contrary to their beliefs and values, something that makes these thoughts unacceptable and unacceptable for the patient.

In fact, it is precisely the fact that they are egodystonic that causes them to arouse great anxiety, which in most cases leads to compulsions to avoid them.

4. Personality disorders

Our own personality can also be egodystonic at times.. For example we can have a pattern of behavior and thought in which we are highly submissive, be very inhibited, very rigid or have an excessive tendency to risk. This may not be bothersome for the person, but in some cases the subject may find great unhappiness and suffering in maintaining these traits.

This may be the case of a person who is always submissive out of fear, or who needs and depends on the approval of others, but in reality would like to be more independent or not need others to feel good. In these cases we would also be dealing with an egodystonic characteristic. This is common for example in a large part of personality disorders such as avoidant personality disorder, dependency personality disorder, obsessive, borderline or histrionic personality disorder.

What to change?

We have said previously that the egodystonic is a problem for the person unless something is done to stop it. In this sense, there are two main options: either the scale of values is changed in such a way that we make it congruent with the lived reality, so that what used to generate discomfort no longer does so since it is now permissible in the new way of seeing things, or the action or thought is modified in such a way that it becomes congruent with the current scale of values.

Which option to take can be complex to decide, and a great number of variables can affect this decision.. However, we must bear in mind that we are talking about a part of the self, so the most adaptive strategy is usually to seek a change in the system of beliefs and values so that we can fully accept ourselves and make that part of us stop being egodystonic.

Thus, in the examples given, the person with egodystonic sexuality should not hide his or her sexuality or fight against it, but rather change the beliefs that prevent him or her from living it freely. In the case of anorexia or OCD, although they require treatment, it should be noted that part of the solution would be, in the first case, to accept one's own body shape (something that would avoid the search for weight loss) or, in the second case, to have had aversive thoughts without considering them unacceptable and without the self-decrimination and guilt that they generate turning it into an obsession.

However, sometimes what needs to be changed are acts or ways of acting that are incongruent not with our beliefs but with who or how we are. In this case, it would be advisable to change the problem behavior in question. For example, a person who is excessively inhibited or submissive because of learning or imposition by others may become intent on assertiveness and social skills training because such inhibition is against his or her way of being.

Bibliographical references:

• Triglia, Adrián; Regader, Bertrand; García-Allen, Jonathan (2016). Psicológicamente hablando. Paidós.
• Vidales, Ismael (2004). Psicología general. Mexico: Limusa.