Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it

What is emotional validation and how to take advantage of it?

The emotional validation is a process of learning, understanding and expressing acceptance of another individual's or oneself's emotional experience (emotional self-validation). The opposite of emotional validation is "emotional invalidation," which refers to the rejection, ignorance, or judgment of another person's emotional experience.

Emotional validation improves interpersonal relationships because the other person feels understood, acknowledged, and promotesIt favors the increase of verbalization of what the other person thinks and feels, as he/she feels listened to. This causes an increase in trust between the two and establishes the basis for creating a good relationship.

Acceptance, empathy and expression of emotional validation

The acceptance is an option we are presented with when resolving conflicts, especially in interpersonal relationships. As part of this, emotional validation is a way of communicating acceptance of others (or ourselves), but it does not mean that we agree with or share the other person's thoughts. Validation is accepting and validating what another person is feeling whether we agree or disagree with their point of view or feelings. Therefore, emotional validation is empathy and acceptance towards another individual.

On the other hand, although it is common to judge or criticize what other people think if we do not agree with them, on many occasions we do not show that we disagree. This is not emotional validation, since Emotional validation provides opportunities for emotional expression.. Validation is not just accepting emotions, but this acceptance must be communicated to the other person.

Tips for improving emotional validation

Learning to validate emotions correctly can take practice. Validating an emotion consists of making explicit the emotion we believe the person has (e.g., Does this make you feel...?) and involves making the other person feel understood, valued and accepted. Here are some tips to improve emotional validation.

1. Be present

There are many ways to be present, but in the world we live in we are not always present. Being mindful is the first step to emotional validation. Some strategies to achieve this are: holding hands with the person who is speaking to us and listening to what they are saying, or using active listening.or to use active listening. Mindfulness training can be helpful in learning to be in the present moment.

2. Listening and reflecting

The objective reflection refers to making an objective summary of what the other person has told you. But not just any summary is valid; after active listening (paying attention to their reactions and emotions), reflection allows you to learn and understand more deeply by looking at situations through different lenses.

Challenging questions will even help you question your own beliefs about the world. But to engage in objective reflection, it is necessary to have knowledge about Emotional Intelligence, as it can help you understand, label and regulate emotions, and to separate emotions from thoughts and cultural impositions..

3. Understanding other people's reactions

In many occasions we let ourselves be carried away by the intensity of the emotions and we don't stop to think about the cause in other people's reactions.. It is basic to understand what the other person may be feeling or thinking. The ability of each individual with respect to emotional intelligence is different, but it can be learned. Although we cannot read minds, we can try to find out what has led the other person to act in that way.

To understand another person's reaction, you can encourage them to talk through carefully selected questions and expressions that let them know that you understand how they are feeling and that you are willing to listen to them talk about it. For example, "I think you were offended by the comment I just made."

4. Understand the situation

It is important to to be knowledgeable about the other person's culture and context.. Therefore, reading emotions implies that with few elements you can formulate a hypothesis about your emotional reaction. This hypothesis must be communicated to the other person so that he or she can express to us whether we are correct.

For example, with a person who has been bitten by a dog, we could say "because of what happened to you with a dog a few years ago, I understand that you don't want my dog to come near you".

5. Normalize emotions

Understanding emotional reactions as normal helps normal helps everyone.. For an emotionally sensitive person, knowing that most people may feel the same way in the same situation is beneficial. For example, "I understand that you may be anxious or nervous. Speaking in front of an audience can be a difficult situation the first time."

6. Have an open mind to the other person's emotional experience.

Acceptance and open-mindedness towards the other's emotional experience will be positive for any interpersonal relationship. Regardless of the emotion the other person is feeling, it is their emotion and must be respected. It is important to make room for all emotions, as they all have a meaning. they all have a meaning.