Emotionally dependent people: their 8 characteristics

Some people mortgage their entire future and their needs to keep a relationship alive.

Emotionally dependent people are an example of the extent to which some individuals are capable of linking their lives to others. Although we all appear to be free, being chained to the decisions of others can become habitual; in some cases, to clearly harmful extremes.

In this article we will review the defining characteristics of emotionally dependent peopleand the habits and signs that indicate the presence of this pattern of thought and behavior.

Emotionally dependent people: what are they like?

In theory, all human beings are unique, unrepeatable and with a constant personality; however, that does not mean that our way of thinking, feeling and acting is not influenced to the core by our interaction with others.

In most cases, the influence an individual has on another person is limited, sometimes becoming somewhat more profound due to persuasion. However, some people are more likely to develop emotional bonds of dependence on others. In this case, their actions become totally intertwined with the actions of that other person.

How to recognize these signs that indicate that we are dealing with an emotionally dependent person? The main ones are the ones you can read below.

1. Feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem

This is a constant in emotionally dependent people. They are cruel to themselves, they have a very battered self-image and their style of attributing causes to what happens to them leads them to blame themselves when something bad happens and to attribute everything to luck or to others when something good happens to them.

Thus, this low self-esteem makes it natural to seek the protection and guidance of an authority figure, someone who can look out for them and lead their lives.

2. Doubtful attitude

Emotionally dependent people hesitate constantly, and their actions are marked by indecision. The reason for this is not simply a lack of assertiveness (one can be assertive if one is clear about what one wants) but simply because one does not believe in one's own criteria for setting goals.

In the context of couple or friendship relationships, for example, this means that adopting a passive role and acting only when the other person has clearly indicated the lines to follow.

3. Feeling of guilt

This characteristic is also explained by the two previous ones, and consists of the ease with which emotionally dependent people assume that the bad things that happen around them are their fault. For example, if their partner feels frustrated because they have not achieved one of their work goals for the day, they believe that they have not given them enough support.

This characteristic makes them easily assume as normal situations of mistreatment directed against them, as they they blame themselves for the anger that gives way to violence..

4. Belief in romantic love

In Western societies, emotionally dependent people believe intensely in romantic love, since it expresses the definitive bond of dependence between two people. In practice, this means that the other person has clear power over them, since the challenge of sticking with them despite their failure to fulfill their commitments is in itself an incentive.

5. Altruism without limits

This type of person is also characterized by investing whatever it takes in the emotional bonds they have already created. That is why they tend to sacrifice time and time again, they tend to sacrifice themselves again and again for other people, even if it is not reciprocated.even if it is not reciprocated (which is common). This is not done freely, as a result of reflection, but systematically, and as a reaction to the fear of breaking contact with that person.

In a way, the personal relationships of the emotionally dependent person mortgage him/her, making him/her less free in the future.

6. Fear of loneliness

Loneliness is a terrifying thing for emotionally dependent people, and that is why they bet everything on the card of being attached to someone. They do this by making great sacrifices in order to be accepted and, in general, to be relevant to someone. The result is disastrous, because they have a motive to be constantly denying their autonomy and obeying the demands of others.

7. Submission

Another of the fundamental characteristics of this psychological profile is the submissiveness and complacent nature. They fear the idea of exhausting the patience of the one to whom the individuals to whom they are emotionally attached, and they try to satisfy all the demands of others. try to satisfy all demandssometimes even unexpressed needs.

8. Difficulty in perceiving manipulation

Emotionally dependent people often fall into manipulation because of the characteristics mentioned above. In such situations, they do not recognize that they are being manipulated, as this would cause them to fall into cognitive dissonance: the idea that the other person is taking advantage of the situation clashes with the belief that maintaining that relationship is beneficial.