Emotions: friend or foe?

Is it possible to live life trying to avoid negative emotions?

Human beings are rational animals, but we have focused so much on the logical aspects of ourselves that we often seem to forget, or want to forget, that we are also emotional beings. We can think, we can analyze the events of our lives, make decisions, create, reflect, but also and above all we feel.

In a way, our emotions are present at all times in our lives.. When we fall in love, we feel something for another person; but also when we smell freshly baked bread we can notice different nuances very vividly or even feel differently. Likewise, when we are with friends enjoying a good conversation; or just sitting on the sofa at home with a blanket when it is cold or raining outside. We feel love, nostalgia, satisfaction, comfort, relaxation, comfort?

We love to feel these kinds of things, they make us value life, enjoy small and big moments, feel present in the here and now and value things. But we do not usually take very much into account the emotions that many times are considered "negative"; only to try to avoid them.

The management of negative emotions

Nobody likes to be scared, or sad, or stressed, sorry, down. Feeling shame, guilt, or remorse about something. But, even if we don't like to feel that way, neither could we feel the pleasant emotions if we are not able to accept the negative ones as well..

For example, when we love someone, it is also normal to feel fear of losing that person, and certainly very normal to be terribly sad if that person disappears from our life. The price of being able to feel the wonderful emotion that love is, is to be willing to suffer at some point.

But unfortunately, sometimes the fear of our own painful emotions is so great that we spend our lives avoiding feeling them, denying their existence and giving the impression that we are actually "stronger" than we really are, when it is not a question of strength to feel more or less sadness for something, but of the ability to give more to a person or not.

In fact, there are people who are so afraid of their "negative" emotions that they are unable to seek positive emotions. they are unable to look for positive emotions. For example, this is what happens when someone prefers not to take the risk of having a job that excites them but requires certain responsibility, for fear of failure. Or not starting a relationship for fear of suffering. And so many examples could be given.

• You might be interested in: "Are we rational or emotional beings?"

Denying a part of one's life

The problem of acting in life by avoiding feeling negative things is mainly that we move away from positive experiences. If I am not willing to risk anything, I don't get to receive anything or feel anything either.

Is it worth living like this? Do we really manage to live like this? Sooner or later, and no matter how much we want to avoid it, we realize that our emotions are part of ourselves, and to fight against them is to fight against us. At times the rational part can win the battle.In others it will be the emotions that invade us the more we try to get away from them.

The importance of reconciling ourselves with our emotional side

The good thing about all this is that if we stop fighting, if we are able to understand that there are no good or bad emotions, but that they are all good and adaptive according to the circumstances in which we find ourselves, we can stop running away from them, accept them, understand them and express them in a way that is consistent with our needs.

No matter how sad a person may be, if he accepts his emotion and expresses it, time can heal his wounds. When instead one forbids oneself from feeling that Pain and locks it inside oneselftime does not heal anything, it only keeps it locked up with great effort and with the disadvantage that it often turns against us.

Knowing the usefulness of each of our emotions, and adding to the definition of ourselves the fact that we are rational and emotional animals, can help us to understand ourselves more, to accept ourselves and to be able to live both the good and the bad that happens to us in life. After all, we also learn from the bad.