Erethemophobia (loneliness phobia): symptoms, causes and treatment

Loneliness phobia can take different forms and can have serious repercussions on health.

The human being is a gregarious animal that needs social contact to survive and thrive in life. Family, partners, friends... all of these are part of our lives and are of great importance at all stages of life. Although sometimes we may need to be alone and some people do not need continuous contact, most human beings need and enjoy the company of others.

Thus, the idea of prolonged loneliness is something that generates some discomfort and suffering. However, some people develop a phobia or panic disproportionate to the idea of being alone, even for short periods of time, and may even suffer panic attacks and physiological symptoms in response to this fear. This is what happens to people with eremophobia..

Phobia to the solitude: the eremofobia

It is understood by eremophobia to the phobia to the solitude. Eremophobia would be classified as a situational specific phobiai.e. what produces fear would not be a specific physical element (such as a spider or lightning) but a situation or state in which the subject is or may be: in this case, being alone.

As a phobia it is a psychological disorder in which an irrational and disproportionate fear appears (often being the consideration of this irrationality recognized by the subject) towards a specific stimulus or situation, in this case, being alone.

This fear is so intense that the fact of facing the phobic stimulus or the mere idea of doing so generates such an anxiety that it is capable of generating alterations such as cold sweats, dizziness, headaches, tachycardia or Respiratory problems, which also generates an active avoidance or flight from the stimulus.This also generates an active avoidance or flight from that situation or stimulus or from that which may remind one of it.

In eremophobia the fear is in general towards loneliness, being habitual that the fear is given to be physically alone although the idea of feeling alone in spite of being surrounded by people is also usually included.

In this specific case, rumination and obsessive thoughts about the possibility of being alone usually appear, clouding the capacity of judgment and rationalization and feeling great anxiety at all times. Even in events in which one is accompanied by others it is frequent that the anticipatory thought appears that one is going to be left alone.. The possibility of being alone with strangers can also generate anxious responses, and it is not necessary that the loneliness be physical.

Symptoms

This level of fear of loneliness can become very disabling, requiring constant attention or companionship and greatly limiting the person's daily functioning.

Social contact with family, partners and friends may deteriorate, as well as leisure time and job performance (although this will depend on the type of job in question). The affected person will avoid being alone at all costs, and in extreme cases may become totally dependent on the company of others. Thus, they will generally seek to meet someone or keep company at all times.

In extreme cases this can lead to histrionic and theatrical behaviors and even the feigning of illnesses in order to manipulate their environment, something that once detected will usually generate a distancing from the environment and an increasing isolation of the subject (something in fact totally contrary to what the subject intends).

It is also likely that they will adopt a position of emotional dependence towards their environment, regardless of how it treats them, as long as they are not left alone. In fact, beyond the suffering generated by this phobia, one of the most serious possible risks is that the fear of being alone can lead to accepting degrading treatment and even situations of abuse in any of the areas of life, including harassment at work, sexual harassment or even intimate partner violence. In some cases, fear and desperation, irritability and even aggressiveness may appear if they are tried to be left alone.

Possible causes

The specific causes of the appearance of this phobia are not fully known, although several hypotheses have been developed. First of all, it is worth mentioning that the fear of loneliness is common in almost all people, and this normative fear must be distinguished from the existence of a phobia.

One of the theories in this respect tells us that there are some phobias that come from stimuli and situations that we are preprogrammed to fear.being a product of the evolution of the species. If we think for example in the phobia to insects or snakes, we can imagine that in the antiquity this fear and flight of these stimuli were adaptive to us since they supposed a real threat for the subsistence. In the case of loneliness the same thing happens: in prehistoric times a person alone would be an easy victim of a predator, being the ability to defend oneself or to acquire food greatly diminished.

Thus, those who stayed in the group and were afraid of being alone had an easier time surviving, passing this trait on to the following generations. If to this inherited tendency we add the existence of some kind of stressor or threatening situation linked to being alone, we have a probable breeding ground for the appearance of a phobia or personality disorders such as dependent or histrionic.

Another theory indicates that this phobia is acquired through conditioning: at some point in life loneliness has been associated to a traumatic event or to the feeling of helplessness and lack of control of our life. and lack of control of our life, and later the fear generated by that moment is generalized to any situation related to loneliness. Frequent examples are the cases of children abandoned in childhood by their parents, homeless or those who become orphans at an early age. Bullying at school or not being able to form strong friendships can also lead to fear of being left alone.

It is also important to keep in mind that eremophobia usually appears, as with social phobia, during adolescence and identity formation. At this stage, deprivation of the company of others or the perception of non-acceptance by others makes it difficult to acquire an identity. makes it difficult to acquire a solid identityThis will eventually make it unfeasible for us to be alone with ourselves and to need the company of someone else to feel complete. It is also common for this type of phobia to occur in people with poor social skills, lack of self-confidence, insecurity and low self-esteem.

It is also necessary to take into account that the fear of loneliness in the background may be transmitting a fear of death, of not being able to get ahead by oneself, of failure or of not achieving vital goals (being frequent that one of them is to have a family or social success).

Treatment

Erymophobia is a highly disabling problem for those who suffer from it, but fortunately it is a treatable disorder through psychotherapy..

First of all, it will be necessary to explore what the subject fears about loneliness or the ideas or conceptions he/she has about it. It will also be necessary to work on the reason for the need for company, at what moment the patient believes the fear originated and why, what meaning he/she gives to the phobia and the expectations and beliefs he/she has both about him/herself and about the world or his/her future.

Once this is done, it may be advisable to apply therapeutic resources such as cognitive restructuring in order to work on the subject's beliefs and try to generate explanations about reality and about oneself that are more adaptive than those held so far, as well as expectations and demands both in relation to oneself and to the environment.

It will also be useful to work on stress management, social and problem-solving skills, self-esteem and a sense of self-efficacy and autonomy, all of which are vital at this stage.all of which are vital in this type of phobia.

Likewise, and as in almost all phobias, the most effective method in the treatment of phobic symptomatology (not so much in its causes, something that should be worked with methodologies such as the previous ones) is exposure. It would be a matter of gradually exposing the subject to loneliness, after agreeing with the therapist on a hierarchy of items related to it, to which the subject will gradually submit. It may also be useful to employ response prevention, i.e., that the subject avoids seeking company at the time of the onset of anxiety.

Bibliographical references:

• American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. Fifth edition. DSM-V. Masson, Barcelona.
• Bados, A. (2005). Fobias específicas. Universitat de Barcelona. Faculty of Psychology. Departament de Personalitat, Avaluació i Tractament Psicològics.