Fear of motherhood: why it occurs and how to overcome it

Fear of motherhood can come between many women and their goal of having a baby.

Fear of becoming a mother is one of the psychological phenomena that goes most unnoticed, even though it is experienced by many women. It is not something to be taken lightly, as it corresponds to motherhood, a fact that transforms the daily life of those who are going to have a baby and who, consequently, think about this whole process through a strong emotional involvement.

In this article we will see why the fear of motherhood can appear and what can be done to overcome it.

Fear of motherhood: possible causes

The fear of becoming a mother is relatively frequent in women who are considering becoming pregnant for the first time or who are already pregnant. In the latter case, the emotional impact of receiving the news of the pregnancy can lead to serious suffering even if they had already planned to become pregnant. Ambiguity and ambivalence in feelings is very characteristic when the fear of motherhood is present. when the fear of motherhood is present.

Here are some of the most important key ideas to assess what may be the causes of this fear, in each case.

1. Is it a desired pregnancy?

Some women confuse the fear of becoming mothers with the simple fact of not wishing to become mothers. Due to the traces left by the machismo that has prevailed for centuries in practically all cultures, there is a tendency to overlook the will of women regarding their own ability to conceive, assuming that motherhood is a phase of life through which they must pass, when this is not the case at all.when this is not the case at all.

Not wanting to have children is, of course, totally legitimate, and the social pressure that may lead to seeing the refusal to have a baby as a problem should not be seen as an individual problem, but as a collective, communal one. should not be seen as an individual problem, but as a collective, community problem..

2. Fear of medical complications

Many women are frightened at the thought of the dangers of childbirth. Although fortunately in most developed countries it is possible to give birth in conditions of medical care that provide a great deal of security, there are times when this guarantee cannot be counted on (either because of the place where one lives or because of other material conditions). On the other hand, this danger may also be overestimated.

Moreover, in many cases a double fear is perceived: of dying oneself and of the baby dying..

3. Fear of not being prepared

It is also very frequent, within the cases of fear of being a mother, that motherhood is seen as a task that requires many skills and competencies at the same time, without allowing time to "train" in them without exposing the newborn to risks or dangers. The new role of mother is seen as a total transformation that requires adopting totally different habits. requires adopting totally different habits, which is not easy to do.This is not easy to do or to plan for.

4. Fear of transmitting problems

Beyond the possible imagined inability to be a mother, there are also those who are afraid of creating a new life, since they assume that they will possibly have an unhappy existence due to the fact of having been born to the one they were born to, inheriting a whole series of problems.

How to overcome the fear of being a mother?

As we have seen, the fear of becoming a mother is not based on the lack of will to be a mother, but on the fear of creating big problems from a pregnancy, despite the fact that there is something seductive about motherhood, or even despite the fact that we want to have a baby. In other words, there is a duality: one wishes to have a son or daughter, but there are a number of obstacles that can harm the woman who suffers or the baby to come, or both, and that are almost inherent to the process of becoming a mother.

Each case is unique, and the intensity of this fear can vary greatly.. For those women who feel especially bad about this anxiety, it is advisable to see a mental health professional, but for the rest, it may be enough to try to apply some very basic and simple principles that we will see below.

1. Inform yourself about health coverage

It is a very basic first step that can prevent many worries. Seeing how medical teams can address the needs and potential problems that arise during childbearing is a relief. On many occasions, people prefer not to do this so that they don't have to think about the pregnancy (since it causes anxiety). (since it produces anxiety), but if this first obstacle is overcome, much of the fear will go away.

2. To value the material conditions in which one lives

If there are reasons to think that motherhood is materially unfeasible due to lack of resources, it is advisable to postpone the pregnancy, but for this it is important to ask for third opinions, because the fear of motherhood can greatly bias our point of view.

3. Start learning how to be a mother

It is true that caring for a baby is a responsibility, but it is not a task reserved only for an intellectual or physical elite: with the proper learning process, it is possible to play this maternal or paternal role well..

The simple fact of getting involved and learning during the previous months makes us feel more prepared and the fear of being a mother goes away, while increasing self-esteem.