How to be empathetic with others, in 8 steps

Several tips on how to dialogue from empathy favoring the emergence of agreements.

The ability to be understanding is one of the psychological faculties that has made us capable of living in society. And for the same reason that each person has his or her own personality, it is necessary to make an effort to adapt to the points of view of others in order to connect with them.

In this article we will look at several key ideas about how to be sympathetic or understandingand how they can be applied in our daily lives.

How to be understanding: 8 tips

From the moment in which human beings live in society, it is necessary that each individual adapts to the needs and characteristics of those with whom they live. This process always entails a certain level of sacrifice, but we can make sure that this effort is not in vain and serves to better relate to others not only in theory, but also in practice.

1. Think about the other person's priorities

To be more understanding it is necessary to to take into account the scale of values and needs that move the person that drive the person we are talking to. Regardless of whether we agree with that way of establishing priorities, it is necessary to understand their point of view in order to be able to take the first steps of dialogue and consensus.

2. Be patient

If everyone thought as we do, communication would be incredibly fluid and fast... but also boring and uninspiring. That's why being understanding implies having the patience necessary to to make room for the rapprochement of positions, for mutual understanding, which by definition cannot happen in a matter of fractions of a second, but involves a whole process.which by definition cannot happen in a matter of fractions of a second, but involves a whole process.

3. Practice active listening

The moment of listening is very important, not only because it allows us to start thinking like our interlocutors, but also because it is a way to promote dialogue and collaboration. This is why it is important to encourage active listening, which involves all verbal and non-verbal elements. verbal and nonverbal elements that indicate that we are listening.. Making brief comments, looking into the eyes, nodding... small details that make a difference.

4. Do not ridicule

Some people take advantage of any situation in which there is a disagreement with their interlocutor to try to ridicule him or her. This may be an apparent relief for the one who does it (at the expense of the other), but it serves no other purpose than that, and instead has many negative effects. Among them is the fact that it makes mutual understanding much more difficult.

5. Show interest in their emotions

Often, we do not really understand the other person until we get to know his feelings and, in general, that irrational part of him that makes it difficult to understand him, that irrational part of him/her that leads him/her to act in a different way.. But this is something that not everyone is willing to share with others at the drop of a hat. Therefore, you have to show that you respect their point of view and that you can speak freely without fear of being judged.

6. Give opportunities to redeem yourself

Sometimes, what keeps us apart from another person is the fact that he/she feels guilty and, consequently, believes that he/she can only continue along the same path, believes that he or she can only continue by confrontation.The first is that he has done things in the past that would be considered clearly wrong if such a confrontation did not exist.

Thus, it is important to give opportunities to redeem oneself in a subtle way, without being noticed as a kind of "ritual".

For example, to assume in part that we have done something that has harmed the other person, even if it is not true, so that the person feels good about making the apparent sacrifice of forgiving us. In this way they may feel that their guilt has been expiated.. But a balance must be struck so that a precedent is not set in which any grievance can be settled too easily.

7. Think about the consequences of what you do

Whenever you do something that affects another person, think beyond what that change means to you. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and see, for example, if it makes their situation worseThis is possible if up to that moment we had not stopped to consider what it means to participate actively or passively in what we have modified.

8. Consider the influence of context

Naturally, human beings tend to believe that a person is what he or she chooses to be, just like that. The phenomenon described by the just world theory, for example, is an example of this. However, this is false, as we are strongly influenced by our environment.

Therefore, in order to be more understanding, we must bear in mind that the individual is the product of his decisions but also of the circumstances in which it has fallen to him to live.

Bibliographical references:

• Coller, N. (2018). A tortoise, a hare and a mosquito.. Valencia: Nau Llibres.
• Goleman, D. (2006). Social Intelligence.. New York: Bantam Books.
• Strauss, N. (2015). The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships.. New York: William Morrow.