How to be more pleasant with others: 8 tips

Several ideas to follow to make personal relationships with others more comfortable and fluid.

Knowing how to be pleasant when dealing with others can be a crucial can be a crucial element in creating social bonds. Beyond our knowledge, skills and interests, something as simple as knowing how to make people feel comfortable around us predisposes them to adopt a positive attitude towards us.

In this article we will look at some basic tips on how to be nice to others and get the sympathy flowing. Modifying our habits based on these ideas can be helpful in making friends, dealing with neighbors and work colleagues, etc.

How to be more pleasant: guidelines to follow

In personal relationships, it is not only important what we are, understood as what defines us psychologically, but also how we appear to others. Although the human mind can adopt an infinite number of details and nuances that make each individual unique, when socializing there are a few details that are able to make a difference, when socializing, there are a few details that are capable of making a difference in the process of making a good impression. in the process of making a good impression on others.

The truth is that what sets the tone of a dialogue is not what is said, but the elements that are often non-verbal and that accompany and structure the communication. Let's see how to take advantage of this to make a conversation adopt a friendly tone in which the other person feels welcome.

1. Maintain eye contact

This is one of the classic tips when it comes to personal relationships and communication, because it has different facets. On the one hand, not looking into the eyes expresses insecurity or the desire to hide something, but on the other hand, at the same time, it creates a rarefied atmosphere in which our interlocutors do not feel comfortable.

Thus, maintaining eye contact is one of the minimum requirements to be pleasant in a conversation, although, of course, it is not enough. Obviously, it is not necessary to constantly look into the other person's eyes, as trying to do so is artificial.This is artificial and unsettling. The best thing to do is to look at the face of the person you are talking to and try not to look away from them for long periods of time.

2. Take into account the cultural level of the other person.

Culture can be divided into many areas of knowledge, and chances are that the person you are talking to at any given moment does not know as much as you do about each of them. Assuming that they will understand the references you use or the concepts you use to explain something is not the most appropriate thing to do.

Think that if you are dealing with technical terms or lines of reasoning belonging to very specialized areas of knowledge, and you constantly resort to them, you will make theand you resort to them constantly, you will make the other person uncomfortable. Not because he/she will feel bad for not knowing what you are talking about, but because in order to understand what you are saying, he/she will have to interrupt you.

So, if it is necessary to refer to these concepts, explain beforehand what they are.

3. Don't be afraid of silence

A good conversation can be full of silences. Therefore, it is better not to be afraid of those moments when no one speaks, than to say anything just to avoid having to go through such situations. What makes some silences uncomfortable is not the lack of words per se.The most important thing is the context in which they occur and, above all, the way in which we react to them.

4. Show interest in the other person

It is important that the other person can talk about what he/she considers important about the moment he/she is going through in a particular area of his/her life, or in his/her life in general, depending on the purpose of the conversation. Ask questions about what may be of interest or concern to them, and listen.

5. Don't adopt a paternalistic attitude

Some people confuse the ability to give advice on a subject on which they have mastered with the power to treat other people as if they were children or knew nothing about life. It is convenient to avoid this and to keep in mind that each person has his or her own criteria and capacity to know what is best at any given moment.

6. Remember what is important about each person.

Remembering details about people we have spoken to in the past shows interest and is generally responded to with gratitude from others. shows interest and is generally responded to with gratitude by others, especially if what we remember is personal beyond basic facts such as name or age.This is especially true if what we remember is personal beyond basic facts such as name or age.

7. Use relaxed nonverbal language

Try not to use nonverbal language that shows you are defensive. For example, keeping your arms crossed or slouching in the chair you are sitting in while talking. It is better to appear relaxed, with your limbs relatively far from the vertical line of your chest.

8. Take care of your personal hygiene

Beyond the style you use to dress, hygiene is fundamental. The simple fact of not respecting this guideline physically makes people remain more distant from each other, with the consequent impact on relationships.with the consequent impact on social relationships.

Bibliographic references:

• Graziano, W. G. (2002). Agreeableness: Dimension of Personality or Social Desirability Artifact? Journal of Prsonality, 70(5), pp. 695 - 728.