How to communicate better in a couple’s relationship: 9 tips

In love relationships, emotions can complicate communication.

Some people take relationships as if they were a battlefield where the most important thing is to be right and impose one's own point of view. There are others who, on the contrary, base their dialogues with their partner on giving up time after time to be able to express themselves, to the point of accepting by default that it is the other person's opinions that count.

Of course, none of the above makes it easy for us to establish strong and stable emotional bonds. The existence of these kinds of tensions makes it necessary to to communicate better in the couple relationship.

What to do to communicate better in a couple relationship

These tips on how to communicate better in a couple's relationship give a general idea of what a healthy dialogue dynamic should look like in everyday life together.

1. Avoid arguing in the heat of the moment

The first step is simple and, while it doesn't get the ideas flowing from one person to the other, it helps prevent the communication problem from becoming a problem in the first place, it helps to prevent the communication problem from getting bigger.. Basically, it is to start by avoiding trying to discuss or dialogue if we are already in a very upset emotional state and we have not yet gone through the steps we will see below.

In this way, we will be contributing to decrease the chances of getting into highly unproductive verbal fights. When emotions totally control us and we adopt an antagonistic attitude, the result will hardly be positive.

2. Organize your ideas

When you detect an aspect in which your ideas and those of your partner are not in sync or clash head-on (creating a clear opposition), take some time to think about what it is, exactly, that generates disagreement or confusion. think about what exactly it is that is causing the disagreement or confusion..

Distinguishing each of these ideas, interests, desires or beliefs and seeing how they differ from one another will help you to rank them in order of importance, prioritizing those that should be communicated with greater emphasis. In this way, it will be easier to create a "speech" with a more coherent backbone that really reflects what we want to express.

3. Think about what your partner does not know

We often forget this point, and it is basic. Our partner is, by definition, another person, and therefore does not know what we know. That is why we must take into account these gaps. you have to take into account these gaps in their level of knowledge and act accordingly; for example, by stopping to better explain something necessary to understand the main message we want to convey.

4. Find the right context to communicate what is important

Care in choosing the context in which to communicate something should be directly proportional to the importance of what you want to say. If you think that the topic is too much to talk about, it makes sense not to start the conversation at a time when you are both "passing through". If this happens by accident, it is better to stop and agree on another time to talk, if possible..

On the other hand, to talk about intimacy issues it is good to choose secluded places. In this way we will be removing potential communication obstacles based on feelings of embarrassment or concern that other people are judging you.

5. Speak mixing the abstract with the concrete.

Another key to communicate better with our partner is not to assume that because the other person loves us, he or she understands perfectly well everything we feel, even if we use very abstract or ambiguous language to communicate it.

Thus, it is necessary to relate everything we say about our feelings to our daily life experiences, even if we use very abstract or ambiguous language to communicate it. experiences of daily life, especially if they involve our partner..

6. Do not fear the clash of interests

In a couple's relationship it is normal to have some conflicting interests. It is a consequence of forming a group (in this case, a very small group of two). Individuals do not cease to exist because they form something larger than the sum of themselves, such as a romantic relationship. Denying such tensions will only chronicle a problem that can bring many unpleasant surprises. that can bring many unpleasant surprises and disappointments.

7. Avoid a competitive attitude

When it comes to communicating better with your partner, it is about finding a better fit and consensus, not about winning. That's why, monitor the way in which you are participating in the dialogue and, if you detect and, if you detect that you are entering into a kind of contest to see who can talk the longest or shout the loudest, correct this. Not doing so will increase the chances that your partner will also adopt this confrontational attitude.

8. Take time to recap

From time to time, when you notice that important ideas have come up in the conversation, do a recap of what has been said by both you and your partner. This serves both to nuance ideas and to introduce a moment of "pause" and rest that is conducive to to calm the mood in case there is a certain risk of anger, boredom or frustration, as it induces us to adopt a more positive attitude.It also helps us to adopt a more detached perspective of ourselves.

9. Avoid falling into fallacies

Fallacies are argumentative "traps" that are often easy to detect as such. Therefore, avoid using them. Not only because they do not contribute anything and do not improve the quality of the dialogue, but also because they can be seen as a lack of respectA waste of time in exchange for trying to convince the other person in a shoddy manner. Try to be guided by the value of honesty both when presenting your ideas and when talking about your partner's ideas.