How to control anger: 7 practical tips

Keys to self-control in anger management.

Anger-related problems are a frequent reason for consulting psychology professionals.

There are even therapists who specialize solely in anger management. anger management and aggressionThis tells us that it is something that affects many people. How to control anger? This is precisely what patients ask themselves, since it is often difficult to manage the aggressive tendency or to get angry without external help.

Today we deal with the problem of anger and aggressiveness, and expose some tips to control it.

What exactly is anger?

Anger is an emotion characterized by a rapid increase in heart rate, Blood Pressure and blood levels of noradrenaline and adrenaline. It is also common for the person who feels anger to redden, sweat, tense his muscles, breathe faster and see his body energy increased.

Being an emotion related to the aggressive impulse, some experts point out that anger is the manifestation of the response emitted by our brain to attack or flee from danger. On the other hand, the state of mind of moments of anger makes us instinctive and reduces our ability to reason.

The causes of anger

Anger can arise as a result of a state of insecurity, envy, fear, and so on. Anger can also appear when we are incapable of to confront a concrete situationWe may be hurt or annoyed by the way people around us act.

In short, anger or aggressiveness usually appears in situations that we perceive as a threat. Therefore, anger is based on feelings such as fear, dread, frustration or even tiredness.

When we feel frustrated about something, we can react in various ways. In this case, one of the possible reactions to frustration is anger. Aggressiveness, on the other hand, is the outward manifestation of the anger we feel.

Anger appears automatically in certain situations that hinder us from achieving our goals or objectives. The emotions we feel are not produced without reason, but each one has a specific function. In the case of anger, the brain causes this state to prepare us to make an effort. to prepare us to make a greater effort to overcome the difficulty effort to overcome the difficulty that has been presented to us.

Types of anger

Anger has different facets and takes different forms:

1. Aggressive behavior and violence may appear as a way to achieve different objectives when we have not been able to achieve them without using violence. In this case, we could speak of instrumental anger, because we use it as a means to obtain something. Therapists associate this behavior to poor communication or self-control skills, but it is always possible to improve these aspects.

2. Anger may appear anger as an explosionThe anger may appear as an explosion, as a result of having endured for a long time an unfair or disturbing situation. Thus, small daily frustrations accumulate and, by not expressing our discomfort, we end up exploding at one time or another. The solution to this type of vicious circle is to manage anger properly, and not to accumulate it until it explodes.

3. Anger as a defense arises when we perceive that we are under attack or we face a difficulty. Normally, we tend to react negatively more by intuition than by objective facts, which can lead to our anger being objectively unjustified.

How to control anger? Some tips for anger management

Becoming aware of the causes that lead us to a state of anger is a big step towards good anger management. Learning to control anger involves learning to rationalize some irrational emotions and impulses and to relativize the reactions that some events in life produce in us.

Otherwise, aggressiveness and anger can lead us to a permanent state of alert that can generate bad personal experiences. Therefore, one of the key factors in anger management is the self-controlHowever, it is also worth mentioning the following dynamics in order to develop anger prevention:

1. Do not accumulate anger but manage it properly.

When something unfair happens and we do not react, we accumulate anger and rage. Sooner or later, all this anger that we store up will explode. will explode and can lead to an episode of verbal and/or verbal and/or physical violence..

Therefore, it is important to face problems with assertiveness and control, so as not to let the anger ball grow by the minute.

It should also be noted that anger can be channeled, and not necessarily through behavioral patterns associated with aggression. For example, the state of tension caused by anger can be a motivating element to carry out creative activities and artistic expression.

2. Avoid the winner/loser mentality.

We often get angry as a reaction to frustration. frustration of not having achieved some of our goals, or when something has not turned out as expected. In these cases, the empathy is the distinguishing feature among those who know how to manage frustration, control anger and accept setbacks with sportsmanship. We must avoid approaching interpersonal relationships as a win-lose game.

3. Reflect on the causes and consequences of our irascibility.

Think about it and analyze if our emotional reaction is really justified can help us. can help us. Many times we do not think about why we burst out in an outburst of anger, for example when we drive a car and react instantly by insulting or gesturing at other drivers when they do something wrong.

At that moment it would be vital to meditate on why we react in this way: have you thought about the possible consequences of having an episode of anger while you are driving? Seen in this light, it may be worthwhile to look at these situations in a different way.

One of the most effective ways to enhance self-awareness and learn about how feelings of anger tend to arise in us is to keeping an emotion diary. That is to say, to take notes about the experiences that have made us feel more intensely throughout the day, explaining briefly what we were doing, where, what happened to us, and what we have done about it.

4. Get enough rest

When we are physically or mentally exhausted, our reactions of anger and aggressive impulses are more frequent and we have fewer tools to manage them. For this reason it is necessary to rest and sleep the necessary hours: both quantitatively (sleep at least 8 hours) and qualitatively (rest well).

In addition, there are several times of the day when we are more vulnerable to outbursts of anger, and this varies from person to person. We are able to control anger when we are rested, because we can analyze situations better.

5. Relaxation, meditation, self-control...

Relaxation is the best way to prevent anger attacks. There are different ways to relax: practicing sports, yoga, meditation, Mindfulness, taking a hot bath, or any method that distracts the mind and brings us to a state of positivity.

In fact, in specific moments when we detect that we may have an angry reaction, it is a good idea to try to breathe deeply and slowly for at least twenty seconds: this will detoxify our body from the negativity and irascibility we feel.

6. Avoid irritating situations and people

We should avoid finding ourselves in situations where we know that they can increase our anger or lead to a negative state. It is also likely that you know certain people who especially irritate you (the dreaded toxic people).

As much as possible, we should try to avoid the contexts in which we know we can explode.As for the people who irritate us, sometimes it will be impossible not to have any contact (bosses, a family member in particular), therefore, as far as possible, we should try to talk to that person so that interactions are not so irritating.

7. Therapy with a psychologist

The help of a professional and accredited psychotherapist can help decisively to manage this type of emotional reactions, especially when it has reached a point where aggressive behaviors derived from poor anger control are frequent.

Psychological therapy for these cases is aimed at modifying attitudes that generate angry situations, and allows to achieve a cognitive restructuring so that the patient can manage and control his anger. Some emotional control techniques are also used to control anger and manage aggressiveness.

In addition, in some extreme cases in which psychopathologies are involved, such as intermittent explosive disorder, the solution is necessarily to go to therapy.