How to control impulsivity? 10 helpful tips

Many people have a problem regulating their spontaneous behaviors. What to do?

The ability to think before acting is not a gift possessed by everyone. When emotions get the better of us, it can be very difficult not to get carried away by our impulses, so that we can often make decisions that we may regret shortly afterwards.

However, being able to control the impulsivity that sometimes invades our mind is not a invades our mind is not an impossible task at all, reason why we offer a series of guidelines or recommendations that can help us to calm this sensation of urgency.

What do we understand by impulsivity?

In psychology, impulsivity is defined as a cognitive style that is characterized by predisposing the person to act in a considerably rapid, unexpected and excessive manner, which implies a lack of prior reflection and an inability to foresee the effects or consequences that their actions may entail.

However, this reaction does not necessarily occur at all times, but tends to be typical of highly charged situations or contexts. situations or contexts with a high emotional charge or to events that may be perceived by the person as threatening.

According to the different theories that can be found within cognitive psychology, impulsivity is conceptualized as a multifactorial trait that encompasses all types of behaviors carried out without a process of reasoning or prior reflection. In the same way, this way of acting negates any possibility of foreseeing and taking into account the undesired effects of these behaviors.

However, not all impulsive behaviors necessarily have negative consequences. There are certain occasions when it is necessary to act quickly and spontaneously; these are the times when we do not have too much time to assess whether our reaction is appropriate or not. we do not have much time to evaluate whether our reaction will be appropriate or not, as we will not know the consequences.We will not know the consequences until after the action has been taken.

Therefore, the secret is not to abuse compulsive behaviors, since they create a habit, but to be able to discern when they are appropriate and when they are not.

Although impulsivity can be considered as a personality trait, it is not necessarily pathological. is not necessarily pathological, there are a number of disorders or disturbancesThere are a series of disorders or mental alterations that include this way of acting as one of their characteristic symptoms. These include bipolar disorder, autism, ADHD, or borderline and antisocial personality disorders.

10 tips for controlling impulsivity

Fortunately, there are a number of guidelines that people with high impulsivity can follow to exercise some control over emotion-driven behaviors. Below we will see a series of recommendations a series of recommendations so as not to always let ourselves be carried away by our impulses:

1. Knowing what triggers it

The first step to initiate a series of changes in our way of acting impulsively is to know what stimuli or situations provoke it. to know what stimuli or situations provoke these behaviors.. The reason is that it will always be much easier for us to avoid what we can predict.

A good way to start is to make a record of all those situations in which we have acted impulsively, noting which situation or stimulus has provoked such response, how we have felt and what has been our reaction or way of acting.

In this way, we will be aware of the events and emotions that enhance our impulsivity, so that by detecting these situations in time we will be able to respond more effectively.

2. Count to three

The moment we become aware of which situations generate all kinds of impulsive responses in us, we will be able to start changing the way we react.

The main characteristic of impulsivity is that the response is given in a very fast way without giving any kind of reflection, therefore our first step will be to change the way we react.Therefore our first step will be to learn to delay the onset of such a response.

Although it seems easier said than done, just by trying to let a few seconds pass, our brain is able to reflect briefly and our emotions will be much calmer. So we will improve our ability to manage the tension, emotions and thoughts that trigger the impulsive response.

In order for this to be effective and become routine we must perform this pattern consistently in all situations, regardless of the urgency or need.

3. Generate self-instructions

Unfortunately, in many occasions it happens that, although we have managed to carry out the two previous guidelines, our impulsivity can arise in the same way. Thanks to them we can delay our response but not make it disappear.

Therefore, what can we do to be able to respond effectively in the same way? Make use of self-instructions. Telling ourselves what steps we can take or how we are going to respond to a situation will allow us to reflect on it and perceive whether it is an effective reaction or not.

To elaborate some dynamics of internal language, or even to verbalize aloud, allows us to be conscious of our thoughts and, therefore, to correct them with greater facility.

5. Harnessing our energy

In some cases, the problem of impulsivity is caused by an excess of energy in the personwhich releases it at the wrong time. Knowing this, people who feel identified with this pattern of behavior can channel this energy through physical exercise.

Activities that involve a high expenditure of energy can be useful to learn to control our impulsivity and use it only in those moments when it is really opportune.

6. Use relaxation techniques

In those cases in which the person is unable to channel his excess of energy, he can try to diminish the tension that this one generates. Doing relaxation exercises, meditation or activities such as yoga, will allow us to maintain a natural state of relaxation that will help reduce impulsive responses.

Likewise, if our daily routine is characterized by being very stressful, it is very possible that our tendency to act impulsively is greater, therefore trying to reduce stress levels through a good organization of the day accompanied by small routine relaxation exercises will also be of great help to the person.

7. Thinking of alternatives

By being aware of the way we act, we will be able to develop alternative patterns of action and thinking.. If we manage to perform these behaviors enough times, they will become a habit and reduce the problem of impulsivity.

8. Be consistent

If we take seriously the consequences of our actions, as well as the magnitude or the effect that our behaviors can generate in other people, we will be more capable of reflecting before acting.

9. Use the Ulysses contract strategy

The Ulysses contract consists of to take advantage of the help of an ally so that, each time he restricts your freedom (by giving him prior permission and rules), he will be able to act in a more effective way. (by giving him prior permission and rules to follow) at times when you may be tempted, or even to impose a penance on you.

For example, some people let their partner, their father or their mother take away their Internet access in situations where the urge to buy something without needing it arises; other people create a reserve of money and instruct someone else so that every time they are tempted, they allocate part of that sum to a donation to an organization that is detested.

10. Use an emotional diary

Writing every day about our emotions will help us to detect thought patterns and feelings. detect the thought patterns and feelings that arise in our mind just before we give in to our impulses; that way we will have an easier time.This will make it easier for us to "deactivate" those trap thoughts in time.