How to cope with peer pressure: 4 useful tips

Tips on how not to give in too much to the will of the majority around us.

Living in a society full of people with different interests and opinions has advantages and disadvantages. Being with others gives us greater access to resources and information, but it also means that we have to adapt to what others expect of us... sometimes even unconsciously in contexts where we give in too much.

Thus, peer pressure is one of those disadvantages that we must know how to deal with when living in society or in groups of almost any size, since we are prone to accept the views that the majority imposes on us. In this article we will look at several tips on how to deal with peer pressure.

How to cope with peer pressure?

Although being surrounded by people allows us to achieve very good standards of quality of life, it is well known that there is a balance to be maintained between what we get from society and what we sacrifice in order to fit in well with it. This can apply to society in general, such as its laws and rules, as well as to portions of it: our work colleagues, our families, friends, and so on.

And the fact is that this balance between the defense of our own subjectivity and the points of view of those around us has always been a subject of study addressed by those who are part of the history of psychology.

For example, this is a theme that has great importance in the theories of psychic structures proposed by Sigmund Freud, according to which part of the norms and interests of others are internalized by the individual, to the point that he or she yields to these elements without realizing it.

But it is Solomon Asch who is the most discussed psychologist when he talks about the way in which peer pressure affects our lives.. This researcher in social psychology conducted studies on conformity in which he showed how people tend to express ideas that coincide with those of others simply because many people held them, despite the fact that they were obviously false.

So, since knowing how to deal with peer pressure has a lot to do with detecting when we unconsciously bend to the will of others, here are a few tips on how to combine our own view of reality with a reasonable respect for the interests of others.

1. If you can, anticipate what they will say

The first step is to stop and think about possible arguments (or lack thereof) that others will use to exert peer pressure on you. to exert peer pressure on you. This step is very useful for dealing with the following steps, and in turn helps to ensure that surprises do not lead to a state of intense emotionality or anxiety that makes us lose control over what we say.

2. Don't be defensive

One of the most common mistakes we make when we notice that there is social pressure directed at us is to assume that it is time to withdraw from the conversation or interaction, to assume a passive role that does not attract attention.

This, in most cases, is a mistake, since it means giving in to peer pressure, while not doing exactly what others expected of us, at least making our actions go unnoticed, as if we did not exist.

Instead, what we need to do is to redirect that pressure towards those who are trying to exert it against us.How do you do that? Let's take a look at the following tips.

3. Question the relevance of these expectations

The first thing to do is to state as concisely as possible that what is being asked of us explicitly or implicitly is not something we are obliged to do just because someone wants us to. Ideally, this message should be interpreted between the lines, not expressed in an antagonistic or hostile mannerThe ideal is to have this message interpreted between the lines, not expressed in an antagonistic or hostile way, because in that way the burden of explanation falls on the one who exerts group pressure.

For example, if in a group work you are expected to write the longest section, the ideal is not to attack the others for trying not to assume part of the effort, but to ask who has decided to divide the parts to be done in that way and why they have done so, taking into account that the most equitable way is to establish this division by number of pages, and not by assigning sections.

As we have seen in this example, peer pressure is dissolved by our request for others to do the explainingWe do not have to make a move until others have made an effort to give a convincing answer.

4. Express yourself on the assumption that others want the best for you.

In this last step, you need to assertively express your own interests by speaking as if others take it for granted. as if others take it for granted that your position should be respected.. That way, it will be others who will be forced to adopt an antagonistic attitude, which is often uncomfortable for many people.

Bibliographical references:

• Allport, G.W. (1968). The historical background of modern social psychology (G. Lindzey & E. Aronson (Eds.) The handbook of social psychology (2nd ed.) Vol. 1.
• Asch S. E. (1948). "The doctrine of suggestion, prestige, and imitation in social psychology". Psychological Review, 55, 250 - 276.