How to cope with the fear of marriage, in 5 tips

The distress and general discomfort caused by this fear can last for years.

The fear of marriage is a phenomenon more common than it seemsand its harmful effects on the quality of life of those who suffer from it can last for years.

In this article we will see several tips on how to deal with the fear of marriage and not let it add a dose of anguish to your life.

Fear of marriage: what to do?

Both worries and nerves before marriage are very common, but they are still phenomena that have more to do with the ritual itself and the celebration of that special moment. However, beyond these episodes of slight discomfortSome people fear not the day of the wedding itself, but the married life, the phase of life that begins from that moment.

However, before addressing the problem of the anguish experienced when experiencing the fear of marriage, it must be clear that this phenomenon does not have to be something that appears in isolation in each individual: social influence counts, and a lot.

To a certain extent, the fear of marriage may be based on social pressure. No one is unaware of the fact that even today there is a strong "inertia" that leads us to assume that marriage is part of a normally developed life, so that people of a certain age who do not establish this link are strange cases, sometimes even cause for contempt or ridicule.

Thus, the fear of marriage may be the result of the discomfort of feeling "predestined" to walk down the aisle even though there is no real will to marry or to lead a life as a couple. Therefore, before considering whether the fear of marriage is in itself the problem, it is necessary to pay attention to the context in which the marriage is taking place, it is necessary to pay attention to the context in which we liveto know if what makes us feel bad has to do with the expectations that other people have placed on us.

Having said this, and assuming that it is a truly personal fear and not based on the pressures of our social circle, we can now move on to the advice.

1. If you don't have a partner...

There are people who experience fear of marriage despite not having a partner. In these cases, what usually happens is that it is the influence of others that makes us assume that the day will come when we will have to commit ourselves. What happens is that this influence does not necessarily have to be very evident, and may even come not through specific people (friends, relatives, neighbors...) but through the influence of the culture in which we live immersed. through the influence of the culture in which we live immersed..

Keep in mind that if you do not have a partner there is no point in being afraid of marriage. In practice, we must adapt ourselves as much as possible to those situations that we are really living, and not to those that are imaginary or hypothetical. Whatever your circumstances, fear of marriage will only give you an extra worry that simply shouldn't be there.

2. Don't assume it will go wrong again.

There are a lot of emotions at play in the realm of love, and that makes it relatively easy to go through psychologically painful experiences. As a consequence, there are people who develop a fear of emotional commitments, and the fear of marriage is the clearest example of this type of bond in which two people commit to look after each other.

In these cases, it is good to modify these beliefs, since they create discomfort, on the one hand, and do not make us more realistic, on the other. The latter is so because the love history of any one person is never so extensive as to have a representative sample to have a representative sample that allows us to know "people" in general. Each person is a world, and although it is true that there are psychological regularities, these cannot be known by the simple fact of having had a dozen partners before.

3. Examine your material conditions

It is possible that the circumstances have made that the idea of the wedding is more and more near and that you do not feel in conditions to be able to afford it. that you do not feel in conditions to pass to that type of life.. But part of that concern may come from the fact that the lack of preparation is not psychological, but material.

If you lack the economic stability that will allow you to embark on married life with confidence, you should first attend to those issues that have to do with your living conditions, in constant dialogue with your partner, of course.

4. Analyze if it is a great qualitative leap

Although getting married is something with a symbolic and legal importance, it should not be a big change when it comes to defining your life. a big change in defining the type of emotional behavior that binds you and your partner. that binds you to your partner. Ideally, you should get married when you already experience a degree of intimacy and commitment similar to that of married couples. Otherwise, the fear of failure can cause you to experience stress simply because of the uncertainty.

5. Embrace new forms of commitment

Finally, consider the possibility that if you are experiencing a fear of marriage, it may be because you are not sufficiently prepared to live together as a couple on an ongoing basis. you are not sufficiently prepared to live together as a couple on an ongoing basis.. In this case, take seriously the task of learning those habits that living together requires.