How to deal with disturbing emotions with Mindfulness

Emotions that are difficult to manage can threaten our well-being if we do not regulate them.

One of the main components that are part of a large proportion of therapeutic processes is the management of emotions. the management of emotionsespecially those that destabilize us negatively or those that have an unpleasant connotation such as anger, worry (fear) or sadness.

A basic principle in the psychological work of emotions is learning to identify, manage and express them in an adaptive way. The opposite processes, i.e. repression or avoidance, usually lead to the development of significant discomfort in the medium and long term. In this sense, and especially in the face of disturbing emotions, it is useful to resort to Mindfulnessor Mindfulness, to manage them.

The identification of disturbing emotions

One of the main objectives in achieving stability and emotional well-being involves dealing with the feelings that are generated after the cognitive experience of a particular situation, processing them rationally and realistically and, finally, issuing a response of acceptance and adequate assimilation of such discomfort. As Simón (2011) argues, a fundamental process in achieving this objective lies in "calming the mind and seeing clearly".

It seems necessary to train oneself to "disidentify" with the intense emotion experienced at a given moment in order to be able to analyze it with greater perspective and greater clarity. to be able to analyze it with greater perspective and clarity.

One of the most recognized theories on how emotions are produced was the one proposed by James-Lange at the end of the 19th century, which established the hypothesis that the physiological changes produced in the organism are transmitted by the autonomic nervous system to the cerebral cortex and, as a result, emotions arise. Thus, these authors opposed the initial theoretical principle that defended that emotions are the cause of physiological change. For James-Lange, the individual does not cry because he grieves, but grieves because he cries.

Subsequently, Cannon-Bard's approach at the beginning of the 20th century achieved a greater consensus in terms of the explanation a greater consensus on the physiological explanation of emotions by of emotions, postulating that both the bodily reaction and the emotion occur simultaneously and are interdependent. In this way, the idea that a fundamental factor in the identification of emotions becomes the analysis of the physiological reaction that a person emits in the face of a specific experience began to be considered valid.

On the other hand, from the most current approaches to the emotional intelligence construct, it is understood that there is a bidirectional relationship between emotions and thoughts. That is to say, that both influence each other; therefore, another indispensable element to observe consists in the type of cognitions that a person generates when interpreting a specific experience..

Coping with disturbing emotions.

Simon (2011), an expert in the area of Mindfulness techniques, has proposed a set of seven steps, whose components may be alterable in their order or appearance, which can serve as guidance in coping with emotions that are difficult to manage either because of their intensity or their depth:

1. Stop

Stopping what is at hand (an action, a conversation, etc.), interrupting the disturbing instinctive emotional reaction that has resulted from an event that has arisen from a particular event.

2. Breathing deeply

Performing 5 breaths from the diaphragmrespecting the 5-8 cycle (5 seconds of inspiration and 8 seconds of expiration).

3. Becoming aware of the emotion and body changes.

It is a matter of identifying what emotions are being produced and the thoughts that accompany the emotion, as well as the emotion, as well as whether they are accompanied by a behavioral intention (a behavioral response).

4. Accepting the experience

From the active and conscious experience of the emotion, a series of phases of aversion, curiosity, tolerance, permission and friendship towards the emotion in question follow.

5. Self-compassion

Consists in giving affection and love to oneself, instead of making judgments of guilt or anger, e.g., when having felt such a disturbing emotion.for example, having felt such a disturbing emotion.

6. Release

This step involves differentiating the emotion from the "I", the disidentification, to let go of that feeling.

7. To decide to act or not to act

Do this according to the circumstances of the situation, evaluating the benefits and disadvantages of issuing a response at that moment.

Acceptance or compliance?

Possibly, in relation to the above guide, one of the most complex phases corresponds to point four: the acceptance of the disturbing emotion. At this point, a fundamental distinction should be made between this concept and that of conformity or resignation.

First of all, one of the major discrepancies between the two constructs is the absence of judgments, criticisms and evaluations of the experience of the emotion of acceptance. For this, the first step is to to get rid of the so-called cognitive labels, the qualifying adjectivesThe first step is to get rid of the so-called cognitive labels, the qualifying adjectives that label the emotion as disturbing in order to eliminate the descriptive expectations or prejudices of this emotional experience.

It is therefore a matter of mental processing DOWN-UP of the feeling, where the person focuses of the said feeling, where the person focuses his concentration on living the experience as if it were the first time, exploring the sensations and perceptions without classifying them, without valuing them. In this way, the person changes his or her relationship with the experience of the emotion in question, ceasing to be a relationship with a negative or unpleasant meaning. This makes it easier for the person to disengage from the emotion without being trapped by it.

Another relevant point is the active nature of acceptance, as opposed to the passive nature attributed to resignation or conformity. is attributed to resignation or conformity. In the first case, the person makes the conscious decision to experience emotions and thoughts with full attention, voluntarily and actively.

Finally, within the previous fourth point of Simon's guide, there are the following five moments from which the individual manages to make it possible to change the relationship with his or her disturbing emotion:

• AversionThe person does not want to feel this emotion because of its destabilizing and unpleasant nature and resists it.
• Curiositythe person begins to focus his attention only on observing what he is feeling, without valuing or judging it.
• ToleranceThe person increases his or her acceptance of the emotion although some resistance is still present.
• Permission: the resistances are less and less because the judgments of the emotion are being eliminated.
• FriendshipThe person embraces the emotion as he/she accepts it as a personal learning experience. At this point, the feeling of compassion towards oneself begins to be activated, where the individual gives himself permission to feel that emotion in a kind way, without self-criticism or guilt.

By way of conclusion

One of the most useful applications of the Mindfulness techniques is closely related to the competence in Emotional Intelligence, specifically in the process of identification of emotions.specifically in the process of identification, management and expression of emotions that may cause discomfort.

The guide offered above can be a useful strategy to modify how we relate to our emotions and we go from seeing them as something unpleasant to avoid or ignore to understand them as necessary and beneficial processes for our own psychological well-being. This type of practices can bring us closer to a greater acceptance of this type of emotions, diminishing to a great extent the negative connotation that a priori we could give them.

Bibliographical references:

• Simón, V. and Germer, C. (col.) (2011). Aprender a practicar Mindfulness (10th edition.). Madrid: Sello Ediciones.
• Lázaro, A. M. (2012) Aprender a practicar Mindfulness. Papeles del Psicólogo, 2012. Vol. 33(1), pp. 68-73. Complutense University of Madrid.