How to educate children’s emotions, in 3 keys (and benefits).

We review the benefits and ways to improve emotional intelligence in the little ones at home.

Emotional intelligence is one of those forgotten concepts that we miss when we review how we are educating our children. This concept, developed by psychologists such as Daniel Goleman, contemplates the emotional and introspective facet as an area of special interest when it comes to children growing up with good psychological and relational health.

However, few families and educational institutions devote sufficient effort to educating children's emotions.. Whether due to lack of time, scarce resources or an educational scheme stuck in the past, emotions have been underestimated and our children grow up without certain educational guidelines that help them improve self-control, self-esteem, assertiveness or the way of relating and communicating with other people.

How to educate emotions? Several psychological keys

Over the last decades, more and more parents and schools have become aware of the vital importance of children's emotional state in their academic performance and happiness.

Therefore, what psychological and educational keys can we use? what psychological and educational keys can we use to improve the emotional state of children? We review them below.

1. Value the process and not so much the result.

Sometimes, we adults are too focused on our children's performance: what grades they get in their exams, what their IQ level is, how they compare with other classmates... This attitude makes them dependent on result-oriented praise, and conveys a totally wrong message: the value of the activity they perform depends on whether they are able to solve it correctly. transmits a totally wrong message: the value of the activity they perform depends on whether they are able to solve it correctly..

In the case of the children who are gifted and good problem solvers (who are not necessarily the most intelligent and who will have the most promising future), they are positively reinforced for their achievement, but the process they have gone through to achieve that result is rarely valued. In this way, they are also taught that the enjoyment of the activity is totally secondary, since the important thing is that they have been able to solve the problem. As we can see, this is not a good strategy.

In addition, children with a divergent type of thinking and/or those who find it more difficult to solve problems are also instilled with the idea that they are not capable of reaching a successful outcome, which can result in the Pygmalion Effect. The importance of enjoying the thinking process and the task is not transmitted to them, since the only important thing is to achieve an objectively successful result.

To avoid this result-oriented scheme, it is advisable to emphasize the thinking process, the student's motivation to fit the pieces of the puzzle together, and to give him the necessary attention and feedback (not excessive) so that he himself can discover the path that will lead him to the correct result.

2. Playing emotional introspection games

Something as simple as playing at guessing and defining other people's emotions can help children recognize, identify and reflect on anger, anger, guilt, shame, joy....

There are different activities and games that pursue this purpose in one way or another.. As parents (or teachers), we can build on these games to ask the little ones at what times they have felt such emotions, how exactly they felt, what caused them, how they got back to normal, etc.

3. Relaxation

Relaxation allows children to momentarily disconnect from the endless stimuli they receive and reconnect with their breathing, their body, their muscles, their heartbeat? It is a technique that, when used well, brings them great cognitive, emotional and behavioral benefits..

In fact, many schools are already implementing some relaxation sessions. These sessions have great benefits, as reported in this study from the University of Valladolid led by Beatriz Peón.

What are the benefits of emotional education?

Emotional learning has a series of benefits for our children and students. It gives them certain psychological tools to build a much more positive vision of their life, themselves and their environment. It also helps them to manage their fears and conflicts.

Children who develop a good emotional intelligence are able to:

• Increase their resilience, i.e., recover earlier from obstacles and bad feelings they feel at a given moment.

• Have an optimistic but moderate vision of their possibilities.

• Be more proactive, getting more involved in their tasks and developing new interests.

• Express their emotions in such a way that they are better able to face relational and personal challenges.

• Promote good self-esteem and self-confidence.

• Be more cooperative and better manage conflicts and group demands.