How to enforce the rules of coexistence at home

Getting everyone to respect the rules of coexistence is not always easy, whether with friends or family.

As many families will know successful coexistence in the home is not something that arises spontaneously, but rather must be consciously practiced.Rather, it must be consciously practiced by all members of the household. And that, at times, is no easy task.

Through the application of rules of coexistence at homeThe application of rules of coexistence at home guarantees a positive coexistence and understanding, as well as promotes respect among all members of the family. Below, we explain how to create and apply these rules.

Why is it necessary to apply rules of coexistence at home?

Within the family dynamics it is necessary to apply a series of rules of coexistence that facilitate coexistence and promote harmony and harmony.

This elaboration and application of a series of rules, which include both the rights and duties of those living under the same roof, is essential regardless of the number of inhabitants of the house; it is necessary for couples without children as well as for families of any type or number.

In the case of families with children it will help to establish some limits to the behavior of the youngest or smallest ones.. In this way it will be possible to predict and control those situations that can generate a conflict.

However, the objective of the application of rules and duties at home is not only that the children comply with a series of obligations. It is necessary for parents to understand that that in order for their children to comply with the rules, they must also encourage them to comply with them.They must be the first to comply with the rules and recognize their children's efforts.

In the long run, the fact of having grown up in a regulated context, which provides them with a series of duties, will develop the children's sense of responsibility. This will help them in their future adult life. However, flexibility is key so that this context does not become an ordeal for the children.

How to create and apply rules at home?

To put into practice the application of coexistence rules, consider the following.

Creating rules of coexistence

The first step in creating a regulated environment is to establish what rules or guidelines should be followed at home, both at a general and individual level. The reason is logical, no one can be required to follow rules that he/she does not know.. Likewise, you cannot attempt to regulate a child's behavior if you have not pre-established what is acceptable at home and what is not.

In this first step, parents are responsible for creating a set of rules for the home.. A good idea, if the children already have the capacity to understand, is to create the rules among all of them, reaching a consensus, since in this way the commitment will be much greater.

Although each family can establish the rules according to their own criteria and family values, these rules must comply with a series of characteristics that make them much more effective:

• They must be impartial.
• They must be clear and easily interpretable..
• In individual rules, they should correspond to the maturity level of each member.
• They should be made known to all family members.
• They must be enforceable and accepted by all..
• They may include a condition.

Establish consequences

As important as creating the rules of coexistence is to establish or determine what will happen both when they are followed and when they are not.

In this way, the effects can be positive in the case that the rules are followed or negative in those cases in which they are not carried out. It is important to know that positive consequences will always have a much more seductive effect and will be more effective than punishments.

The main characteristic that these consequences must have is that they must be immediate. In this way, both punishments and rewards should be applied as soon as possible, whether or not Once the behavior has been carried out, or not, they should be applied as soon as possible. In this way, the relationship between action and consequence will be stronger and the behavior will be quickly automated.

On the other hand, the second characteristic to be taken into account is that the severity or repercussion of these consequences must correspond to the importance of the rule. In other words, the consequences, both positive and negative, must be proportionate to the acts.

The role of parents in the application of the rules

Those parents who feel the need to apply coexistence rules at home should know that their role is not limited to being policemen who watch over the fulfillment of the rules, but that they must also guide and encourage the behaviors of the children, they must also guide and encourage the appropriate behavior of their children or other members of the unit. or the rest of the members of the family unit.

Although this may seem logical, it is not always the case. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to know that they must also respect the rules, since they are the first point of reference for their children. And that in the case of not doing so, this could lead to could lead to the flourishing of a great number of conflicts with the rest of the family..

Tips for implementing rules of coexistence

Below is a series of concrete tips or advice to make creating and applying rules at home much easier and more bearable for both parents and children.

1. Dialogue

It is necessary to have a dialogue to socialize the rules.. Through these conversations, all members of the household will be able to understand the reason for the rules and their importance.

Also, this dialogue will allow the smallest to express their points of view and will facilitate the respect to the norms on the part of all.

2. Rules that facilitate coexistence

In order to ensure that everyone respects the rules of coexistence these must have a clear and simple purpose: to improve the family coexistence. Therefore, they must be explained in a manner consistent with this purpose.

3. Benefits for all

Regardless of their content, the established rules should benefit all family members equally. should benefit all members of the family equally.. That is, they should be egalitarian and offer the same benefits and obligations for all.

4. Lead by example

In many contexts, children learn by imitation, therefore, the example of parents is essential for the development of their children, Therefore, the example of parents is essential for them to internalize the behaviors that parents want to see in them. to see in them.

5. Flexibility

Although one of the objectives of the rules is that they are carried out, it is counterproductive to become obsessed with them. Both parents and children must show a certain degree of flexibility.In this way, coexistence will be much more satisfactory and compliance with the rules will not become a burden.