How to express your feelings and connect with someone, in 6 steps

Creating an emotional connection with someone is an art, and it depends above all on communication.

We often forget that, when it comes to developing a healthy way of relating to our emotional side, it is not enough to know how to control oneself or identify which feelings are predominant at any given moment. Also it is also very important to know how to express our feelings.

In this article we will see several keys to communicate to others the reality about how we feel, especially in relation to those mental states whose nature goes beyond words.

How to express our feelings in personal relationships?

A good part of what keeps us attached to others is our ability to connect emotionally with others. It is difficult to consolidate a relationship, be it a family, a couple or a friendship, with someone about whom you know nothing about how they feel, in what range of colors they tend to see reality, and in what way they do so.

However, knowing how to express one's feelings is a challenge. First of all, there are First of all, we have to deal with a number of cultural barriers that have led to the belittling of certain kinds of affective expressions, especially for men and people with a non-normative sexual orientation, but which ultimately has affected everyone. For centuries, letting emotions color the most important aspects of our way of life was considered a sign of weakness, or directly something inappropriate and a reason for censure.

But another component that hinders our way of expressing feelings is something that goes beyond our cultural contexts: feelings are, in themselves, something that does not necessarily fit in with the usual ways of expressing ourselves through language.

To help you make progress in your mission to connect more and better with others, here are a few tips on how to express your feelings both through words and by using other communicative resourcesWhether we apply them with our partner in the context of love, or with friends and family.

1. Always adapt your way of expressing yourself.

It is essential, first of all, to discard the idea that we can always express our feelings in the same way, as if we had a way of expressing them that was so personal that we could not adapt it. This is not so: if the person in front of us is not able to understand what we want to say, we will not have expressed anything.

So, if you really want to show a part of yourself that you consider relatively intimate and that has to do with how you feel, you must think about the perspective from which the other person starts, you have to think about the perspective from which the other person is starting.. For example: how would she interpret a physical approach on our part? Is she likely to understand a concept that we will use to make a metaphor? Does she know in the first place that we trust her enough to express that, or will she think it's a joke?

Knowing how to ask the right questions to adapt our communicative style is an art, and it usually takes practice and an honest intention to express ourselves, not just to give a certain image because it suits our interests.

2. Learn assertiveness

Expressing feelings is also an act of courage. Therefore, you must avoid making shame an excuse, and this is achieved among other things by working on your assertiveness, the ability to assert your own feelings and values.

3. Make your social circle healthy

To start having it easier when it comes to expressing feelings, it is also important not to surround yourself with people who react negatively when we do so. That is why it is good to find open and receptive people who do not see emotional feelings as a reason to criticize or make fun of us..

4. Take advantage of non-verbal language

When it comes to expressing feelings, nonverbal language is essential. Be careful not to overlook it and disregard or even suppress it, since a too neutral expression when communicating feelings can completely turn around what we want to say. In particular, it is especially important that you pay attention to the type of voice you use and its musicality, as well as how you manage distances with the other person, and how you use your arms and gaze. what you do with your arms and your gazeThe latter should be directed at the other person's eyes.

5. Write down what you feel

This is a very good way to know first of all what you feelThis is necessary to be able to express it. In addition, it can help you to rehearse linguistic ways of communicating it, although, as we have seen, these will not be perfect or sufficient in themselves to truly express what we feel.

6. Look for appropriate places

Context is almost as important as what is said. Just as using one or another style of nonverbal language can make the same words mean different things. can make the same words mean different things, the context in which we find ourselves can make them mean different things.The context in which we are when we say it also has this effect. Therefore, make sure that there is consistency between the content of what you are going to communicate and the place where you do it, so that there are no misunderstandings that need to be clarified.