How to face death: 4 keys to keep in mind

The idea that someday we will disappear can cause us deep emotional pain.

Plato said that by learning to die we learn to live better. And, if we think about it, this thinker was not wrong: the idea of dying is a background noise that accompanies us throughout our lives and that we must know how to manage. Sometimes, we avoid dealing with the discomfort that this reality causes us, and we simply choose not to think about it. But there comes a time when it is necessary to ask ourselves the question: how to face death?

In this article we will review some reflections and useful psychological keys to know how to live with the idea that someday both we and our loved ones will disappear.

Several keys to know how to face death

Fear of death is, as far as is known, a universal phenomenon.. It is present in all cultures that have been studied and, curiously, not even people with the strongest religious beliefs are spared. In fact, recent research has shown that Buddhist monks living in monasteries have a greater fear of death than the average, despite the fact that theoretically the doctrine they follow leads them not to focus on the "I" and therefore not to worry about their own demise.

However, the fact that it is practically impossible to value death positively does not mean that we should resign ourselves to it. does not mean that we should resign ourselves to suffer to suffer from it to unsuspected limits. There are several ways to cushion the negative impact of the end of life, and all of them involve acceptance. Let's take a look at them.

1. Do not take life as a struggle.

It has long been criticized that we refer to having Cancer as a "fight" against the disease. This is because thinking in these terms leads to assuming a frame of reference according to which those who survive are the strong, and those who perish are the weak: they have not been able to overcome and have lost a battle.

The same can apply to any cause of death, including death from natural causes. As human beings we have no ability to voluntarily control all the biological processes necessary to keep us alive; it is simply not in our best interest, and therefore, no matter how hard we try, we cannot control our own life. no matter how hard we try, we cannot prevent the end of life from catching up with us..

2. Assuming that it is normal not to live

Because of our tendency to construct a strong sense of identity formed by one's autobiographical memory, we take it for granted that it is normal to exist, to be able to look face to face with the same nature that will continue to be there for hundreds of millions of years. However, this is an illusion, and on the other hand, it is one of the things that lead us is one of the things that lead us to suffer the most when the idea of death approaches us..

If we believe that by default we ourselves are in the category of "that which exists," the end of our going is something that will undermine the foundations of all our beliefs. Not only will we have to face the fear of suffering physically; it may also lead to an existential crisis.

Therefore, it is necessary to assume that that our consciousness and sense of identity are nothing more than fragile realities mounted on a complex on a complex web of bodily processes that do not always have to work.

3. Closing our personal history, but not completely

In the dying process, there is a paradox: it is good that the person who is going to die goes through phases of farewell, if it can be both of their loved ones and of places and objects to which they are attached. At the same time, however, it is good that one does not limit oneself to waiting for death. Absolute inactivity leads to rumination and obsessive thoughts, and thus anxiety is always kept very high.

It is good to feel that there is always something to do, to the extent of one's possibilities. That means that it is not even necessary to have a good degree of mobility. If one wants to, it is possible to find things to do. Of course, no one should insist that a sick person do things simply by following this principle; it is one's own choice.

4. Knowing the nature of fear

By definition, no one suffers from being dead. What causes discomfort is both the prospect of ceasing to exist and feeling physical suffering, on the one hand, and the emotional pain that the death of someone produces in loved ones, on the other. Much of what it means to perish has to do with how we experience the death of others, something that in most cases makes us feel very bad.

However, when it comes to the death of oneself, death does not even have to come with physical suffering. Its effect on us can be the same as losing consciousnesssomething that happens every night when we begin to sleep. Many people suffer more from experiences from which they leave alive than from death itself. It must be assumed that the emotions to be managed are related more to the communal experience of death, and to being the person at the center of the ritual of mourning of others.