How to get over a breakup?

Several tips to recover from this kind of emotional crisis in love life.

How to get over a breakup? This is a question that worries many people who suffer from past love crises.

Let's see what can be done to recover from this emotional blow.

The end of love relationships is frequent

Nowadays it is rare to meet someone and to remain in a relationship forever; It is more common to have several partners throughout your life..

On the other hand, the negative emotional experience of breaking up with the previous person with whom we had a romantic relationship can weigh heavily on us. Sometimes this even prevents us from enjoying new relationships after the breakup.

For this reason, a significant number of people who have suffered a breakup, and the suffering and Pain that this has caused them, are afraid of the possibility of starting a new relationship.

The complicated period of mourning after a breakup of a love relationship causes that in some cases people have insurmountable difficulties to overcome the feeling of loss and to be able to start another relationship again.

How to overcome a breakup

Not being able to overcome the loss after a sentimental failure, the hatred felt, as well as the fears that are generated that they can happen again, can block us. This is what happens when it is believed that the best way to avoid having a bad time and suffering is not to have a relationship again..

The consequence of a breakup is that loneliness and grief can significantly affect our intellectual functioning, to the extent that, temporarily, our cognitive capacity is diminished. In such a situation we will not be able to regulate our emotions well or to think clearly.

1. Don't confuse distractions with psychological recovery

Often after a breakup, people may get involved in casual relationships. can start in fortuitous relationships that do not last long and do not come to anything, since it has not yet been digested.The mourning for the previous breakup has not yet been digested in a healthy way and it is still too early for the affection of the partner to find a new place in him or her.

For that reason these continuous small disappointments or failures can make them live with discomfort, even to the point of thinking that they will never again have a relationship as they had with their ex. This is a mistake.

2. Emotional pain needs to be managed

There is a saying that feeds a false myth that is ineffective: "a nail is pulled out with another nail". Normally in relationships intense positive emotions are experienced, and therefore the pain we feel after the loss in the grieving process is necessary.

No matter how much we may want to avoid the discomfort that the breakup entailsIf we do not experience this pain and suffer it, it will be difficult to have a new healthy relationship.

The person must be patient and allow himself/herself to adapt to his or her new life.. The most important thing is to find well-being by overcoming the suffering and pain caused in the previous relationship.

It is necessary to live these emotions of pain and suffering and not try to block them by having other relationships; this will certainly not be the best way to overcome the grief.

3. Understand what happened

The data of the studies indicate that people who have suffered a sentimental failure, to be able to overcome the breakup, they must understand the reasons why the relationship broke up. why the relationship broke up.

4. Do not give in to the temptation to try to get your partner back.

Research shows that a breakup activates the same mechanisms in the brain as those of a drug addict who is in abstinence from the intoxicants to which he or she is addicted. Thus, we could say that when a couple breaks up, the person goes through a period of abstinence.

When we become heartbroken, we cannot ignore it. The healthy thing is to recognize and avoid that the need we feel to contact or spy on social networksIf we do so, we would be feeding the addiction, further enhancing the pain and delaying our recovery.

5. Do not idealize the past

A love breakup will lead us through thoughts of idealization of the broken relationship. We must compensate for this by remembering his bad gesture and not just his smile, what a bad time he/she gave usThe fact that you had frequent and heated arguments and you did not speak to each other for days, etc.

Therefore, in order to overcome a breakup I advise my patients to make a detailed list of all the times that the ex behaved badly with oneself, of all his or her negative characteristics, of all his or her negative characteristicsI advise my patients to make a detailed list of all the times the ex behaved badly with them, of all their negative characteristics, of all their manias, and to keep this list at hand (for example, in their cell phone).

Our brain will tell us that the ex was perfect. But it is not, and neither was the relationship. And if you want to get over it, you need to remind yourself of this often.

Dealing with a breakup is not easy

Getting over the breakup is a struggle, and the reasons why you broke up are your best weapons. There is nothing that can suppress the pain you feel.. So, don't look for more explanations, accept the ones you already have and stop wondering more, as you need the wound to close to get over the addiction.

You also need something else: you must be willing to let go, to accept that it's over. accept that it's over. If not, you will be feeding your mind with false hopes and it will set you back in your grief. Keep in mind that hope can be absolutely destructive when we go through a breakup.