How to help a child overcome his or her fears, in 5 steps

Several tips on how to accompany a child in the process of letting go of his or her fears.

Childhood is a potentially exciting time, but it is also full of fears. At such a young age, children tend to adopt a type of reasoning called magical thinking, which makes them prone to invent entities that are behind the things that happen around them and that they do not fully understand. The uncertainty this produces can make them feel intimidated in certain types of normal day-to-day situations.

In this article we will look at some tips on how to help children overcome their most irrational fears, both in terms of the world around them and the world around them.In this article we will look at several tips on how to help children overcome their most irrational fears, both about the world around them and their perceptions of themselves, and what we can do as parents and educators to give them confidence in their abilities in a reasonable and realistic way.

What to do to help children overcome their fears.

The advice you will find below should be adapted to the reality of each family and each child, since its effectiveness always depends on the context in which they live and the characteristics of each of the children we are going to help. Both the material environment in which they have been growing up, as well as the relational dynamics in which they have been growing up. the relational dynamics that have been consolidated between the children and their family, as well as the personality and self-esteem of the child.The material environment in which they have been growing up, as well as the relational dynamics that have been consolidated between the children and their family, as well as the personality and self-concept (self-perception) of each child, are very important elements to take into account.

Having said that, let's move on to specific tips on what is recommended for children to overcome their fears.

1. Open an honest communication channel with the child.

First of all, it is essential to create the conditions for the child to feel that he or she can express his or her fears freely and honestly, without feeling judged or contributing to a derogatory "label" being placed on him/her.. In Western societies, fears are often seen as weaknesses, and therefore tend to be hidden. But if we show interest in knowing about them to help overcome them, things change.

So, the main thing is, first of all, to gain their trust and show good intentions from the beginning.

2. Ask directly about the root of the fear

It is necessary not to beat around the bush and find out what the child's perception of what he or she is afraid of is. In this way we will be able to establish certain predictions about the type of situations in which this fear will be expressed, and on the other hand we will know whether it is based on imaginary entities or whether it has a minimally material basis.. It is not the same to not dare to go to school because one believes that a demon lives on the way there, as it is to be afraid of getting lost in dark places.

3. Don't ridicule their fears

From an adult's perspective, it is very easy to assume that a child's irrational fears are nonsense, the fruit of a still-developing mind. However, adopting such a perspective is a serious mistake, as it will prevent us from connecting with the point of view of the person we want to help.

So, when you ask for information about what is happening, act as would a person who does not focus on the logic or reasonableness of the fear, but on the importance of the emotional repercussions of the fear for the child. The important thing is not to analyze critically and rationally the chain of thoughts that sustain fear, but how to let go of that fear.but how to get rid of that fear.

4. Be an example

This is a way to start breaking the fear. By demonstrating that it is possible to live calmly acting as if the source of that fear did not exist, we show that there is no reason to continue to be concerned about that worry. To do this, perform acts that the child would not dare to do, in your company. However, it is preferable not to do so than to force the child to do so, it is preferable not to do so than to force the child to be present.However, it is preferable not to do so than to force the child to be present, because the fact of being forced to do so is in itself another source of stress.

5. Create easy situations in which to break the fear.

Following an ascending difficulty curve, create situations in which there is a hint of the fear that the child must overcome, and do your best to get him/her through them without backing out to avoid that discomfort. Stepping out of your comfort zone in this way will be rewarding, because it will show you that your world of possible actions is wider than that fear made you see at first. Little by little, challenge after challenge, it will become easier to continue to make progress until the fear is practically non-existent. However, always try to be close by so that the situation does not get out of control.