How to help a jealous person: 6 tips for improvement

Jealous people cause and experience discomfort. What to do to help them stop being jealous?

Jealousy is to some extent a common circumstance in couple relationships, it is related to the level of affection one has for the other person, although it also has a possessive component. As long as it does not affect the partner or the person who presents it in a significant way, it does not represent a big problem.

When jealousy transcends a limit and the quality of life of people is compromised, the best we can do is to try to help, and in some cases it is also necessary to turn to psychological assistance services. In this article we are going to look at how to help a jealous personin addition to reviewing the concept of colopathy.

What is colopathy?

It is a pattern of thoughts and behaviors oriented towards pathological jealousy. pathological jealousy. To understand how to help a jealous person it is necessary to understand that this condition is limiting and harmful. The subject is not able to see things as they are happening, but as he/she imagines them.

The subject with celopathy is capable of creating fantasy stories in his mind, in order to satisfy an irrational need to investigate the jealousy that he himself has been responsible for feeding. That is to say, they are jealousies that do not necessarily have to fit with the reality of the facts..

Paradoxically, in his intense desire to keep his partner, the subject ends up pushing her away from his life, or, failing that, will end up damaging the relationship to the point of making it dysfunctional for both members. This behavior is intrinsically related to a high level of insecurity and low self-esteem..

How to help a jealous person?

In the following lines we are going to review some effective methods to bring help to people who are affected by this situation of jealousy.

1. Help him/her to reach acceptance

The first thing we should look for when helping a jealous person is to make him/her realize that his/her behavior is being disproportionate, and eventually accept that he/she needs help.

To overcome pathological jealousy it is necessary to to recognize that one is being irrational and exaggerated regarding the way of seeing and dealing with doubts about the partner's fidelity. It generates a detachment from reality, and it is necessary that the person notices it.

2. Give him/her reasons to want to change

Once the person has accepted that he has a problem and needs help to overcome it, it is a good idea to give him compelling reasons to understand how important it is for him and your relationship to for him to change these inappropriate thought patterns..

You can start by listing a number of advantages, such as; lower level of incensarial distress, and a higher level of trust with the partner, etc. This will help the other person, be it your friend or your partner, to acquire the necessary will to change their behavior patterns.

3. Show them ways to detect jealousy.

It is likely that jealous people do not know that they are being jealous; therefore it is necessary that you educate the subject in the recognition of this type of behavior, when it occurs, so thatIt is likely that jealous people do not know they are being jealous, so you must educate them to recognize this type of behavior when it occurs, so that they can recognize it and modulate it when it occurs.

Give him examples of situations where he can see what is the right way to proceed when we have a feeling of distrust towards our partner, tell him that we should not make value judgments, and that it is always best to ask things openly to the partner.

4. Help him/her to change his/her view of things.

This point refers to the fact that as long as we have the ability to make the other person begin to see things as they are really happening and not as he or she imagines them, then we will be making good steps by successfully helping him or her.

Focus on focusing the subject on the real facts and try to get him to move away from ideas that are away from the ideas that he himself has instilled based on hypothesizing about based on hypothesizing about far-fetched situations, which do not make much sense, other than to play against him.

5. Encourage him to work on himself

If you get the other person to start investing time in himself, and learn to have a personal space where he can do things he likes, it is very likely that his level of jealousy will decrease considerably.

A busy mind does not have time to create stories of jealousy when there is not enough information, sometimes it happens that people focus so much on their partner that they forget to do things for themselves. So, it is recommended that you remind your partner that he or she also deserves time to enjoy the deserves time to enjoy life independently.. After all, being jealous also means becoming dependent and obsessive.

6. Reinforce your partner's trust

Make sure that the person you are helping renews trust in their partner, it is no use constantly looking for the 5 legs to the cat. If a person is most of the time looking to corroborate suspicions about his or her partner, then he or she will not have time to fulfill his or her role as a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Bibliographical references:

• Mathes, E. (1991). A Cognitive Theory of Jealousy. The Psychology of Jealousy and Envy. New York: Guilford Press.
• Winston, R. (2004). Human. Smithsonian Institution.