How to help a person with low self-esteem: 6 tips

Guidelines to follow to facilitate the process of rebuilding the self-esteem of a friend or family member.

Many of the psychological problems that people experience have to do with having low self-esteem. When this happens, the expectations one has about what one can do and what one cannot do become so pessimistic that a stagnation occurs and, in turn, a sense of insecurity and sadness because of comparisons with others.

The sum of these psychological phenomena give rise to consequences such as difficulties in relating to others, the adoption of an attribution style that places the blame for everything bad that happens on oneself, and many other undesirable effects.

In this article we will see how to help a person with low self-esteemalways bearing in mind that she is the one who must drive that change for the better that she wants to see in her life, and that we will only help her to succeed in it.

How to help a person who has low self-esteem.

The guidelines that you will see next are basic principles of action at the moment of helping another person to build a higher self-esteem.The latter is important, since eliminating low self-esteem can help the person to improve his or her self-esteem. The latter is important, since eliminating old beliefs (in this case, related to oneself) and modifying habits of thought is something that costs a lot, and is not achieved overnight.

1. Ask her to say good and bad things about herself.

This can cover physical or mental skills and abilities as well as personality aspects. Highlighting three or four elements is enough, since the important thing is not so much to take into account what is good about oneself, but to learn that what seemed empty of virtues and desirable properties before, actually has them. In this sense, once you have named those faults and strengths, it is good for you to talk about them too, it is good for you to also talk about positive aspects of the person you are trying to help, to see how they combine with those you have named.

2. Reflect together on their "weaknesses".

This step builds on the previous tip, and has to do with modifying the way you think about those self-perceived weaknesses. This is important, because people with low self-esteem have a rather simplistic view of themselves (seeing everything in such a pessimistic way, their self-concept is not very nuanced), and thinking about those aspects of oneself and seeing how they fit with reality, reasoning in a critical way, breaks with the idea that there is no improvement possible..

Thus, the idea is not to make people see that these personal failures do not exist, but to begin to see that their importance is relative, on the one hand, and that there is room for improvement in these aspects.

3. Review the attribution style

Ask him/her to recall recent negative or harmful life experiences that he/she believes were your fault. that he/she believes were your fault. By asking him questions about these events, he can be made to begin to see these experiences in a different way, as having various causes, many of which have nothing to do with himself. In this way, whenever he is tempted to assume that something bad that has happened is his fault, he will be more likely to stop and take a closer look at what is really happening.

4. Encourage him to develop compassion for himself.

The simple fact of taking into account that one comes out of a bad period (marked by the low self-esteem) makes that the possible failures that are going to be committed in the future are seen in another way. If you do not start on equal terms with the rest, it is unfair to compare yourself: others do not have to deal with the insecurities and the problem of self-esteem that you are trying to get rid of. It is more of a personal struggle, in which comparisons are comparisons are superfluous..

5. Go with that person to exercise

This is one of the most useful pieces of advice, as regular exercise helps to combat self-esteem problems in different ways. On the one hand, it creates an objective whose achievement is not based on complicated or confusing plans, but rather on the constant effort and the fact of not giving up.. This motivates and provides a component of purpose that is missing in the lives of many people with self-esteem problems.

Secondly, your results are aesthetically noticeable and can be passively verified by others, which lowers expectations of making a bad impression. Finally, being healthier makes you in a better mood in general, so you tend to evoke more positive memories, and this has an impact on your self-esteem.

6. In this case, encourage him/her to go to a psychologist.

In some extreme cases it is necessary to go to a professional psychologist for intervention through their therapy services.. Help that person to decide to go to a psychologist, and if necessary, help him/her to choose the center to go to.