How to know if I am compatible with my partner: 5 tips

Several guidelines to see if the emotional bond that unites us with our partner is of quality.

In the world of relationships, there are almost always several logics at work. On the one hand, there is the one that has to do with personal attraction and that gives us short-term incentives to stay close to a person. This is in itself something that can sometimes be confusing, because it is not easy to analyze one's own emotions.

On the other hand, there is the logic of material possibilities, which is everything that has to be done to enable cohabitation on a continuous basis: earning a salary, having time for one's partner....

All this makes many people wonder.... How do I know if I am compatible with my partner? Small day-to-day problems and conflicts may be just that, but they may also be symptoms of an incompatibility that is more difficult to remedy.

Keys to know if you are compatible with your partner.

It is clear that each relationship is different, and there is no universal yardstick that allows us to know the "quality" of a love bond.

However, it is generally useful to look at a series of criteria or facets of a relationship to determine if there are incompatibilities by looking at the severity of their problems. Let's take a look.

1. Is there sustained mutual respect?

This is the first criterion we must look at to know if we are compatible with our partner. Respect is the basis of any non-antagonistic relationship.And of course, in the specific case of love, it is of paramount importance.

Therefore, it is not enough that there are no direct physical or verbal aggressions. The habitual way of relating to others must be consistent with the value of respect, and in a sustained manner over time. The latter is very important, because even in relationships in which there is abuse, there may be a cycle of violence in which repentance is shown from time to time and shortly after, the aggression is resumed.

2. Is there time to be together?

Each person has his or her own needs when it comes to establishing the minimum amount of time he or she wants to spend with his or her partner, either daily or weekly. Therefore, it is essential to stop and analyze whether these apparently different interests fit together, and whether the conditions exist for these expectations to be met.

For example, in long-distance relationships this can be a problem.However, if a realistic plan is drawn up whereby both people can spend quality time together, or one in which at some point the relationship ceases to be long distance, then there is no need to speak of incompatibility.

In any case, it is important to note that not all expressions of love compatibility need to be of a purely psychological or emotional nature; others are material, such as serious problems caused by endless working hours.

3. Is everything based on physical attraction?

In the youth, it is frequent to confuse the love compatibility with the mutual attraction based on the physical, the aesthetic thing. This is a pattern of behavior that in the medium and long term leads to problems..

That is precisely why it is good to ask ourselves if what keeps us united to our partner is the inertia of what started only with physical attraction. Although technically it is not an incompatibility, it is a source of future and probable serious incompatibilities. Considering that most people think of a relationship as a stable and very long-lasting bond, it is worth thinking about it.

4. Is there asymmetry in communication?

There are times when one of the people in the relationship adopts a markedly passive role when there are discussions or conflicts of interest. That is to say, to make it seem that everything is more or less fine, although in practice it is not completely disguised. In these cases, the other person may be interested in making the reason for the problem explicit, or may take it for granted that in such cases the right thing to do is to do nothing, so that the conflict does not surface.

When both people have become accustomed to this because they do not know how to deal because they don't know how to deal with problems directlyThis can constitute an incompatibility. In the long run, the will of one party always prevails.

5. Are there realistic expectations about compatibility?

Paradoxically, obsessing over whether or not one is compatible with one's partner can be an incompatibility if it leads to demanding that the other person conforms almost perfectly to what is expected of him or her. It is important to assume that there are always small frictions between the interests of the people who are involved in the relationship.. You can not idealize the concept of lovers who complement each other perfectly.

In conclusion

Fulfilling the requirements we have seen does not guarantee that a relationship will work, but it gives a fairly realistic sample about the possibilities it has to prosper. Taking them into account regularly to see if everything is going well is good, although it is necessary to aspire to make the love bond more than a set of desirable objective characteristics.

Love and falling in love should be lived, not simply analyzed.