How to know if your partner is using you (in 10 keys)

In romantic relationships, totally execrable behaviors can arise.

Psychologists and sociologists have been trying to understand human behavior regarding love for decades, a feeling or human motivation that can change a person's life.

Happiness and consummate love are almost synonymous; however, being a couple is not always easy, and conflicts between partners can appear at any time.

• Recommended article: "The 14 types of couples: what are they?"

Does our partner love us or use us?

But in spite of the punctual disputes that can arise in a couple relationship and that have to do many times with the differences in the deep values, the way of thinking or the beliefs and opinions that a person desires, sometimes, one can not feel loved by his/her partner and doubt the love of this one. "Does our partner love us or is it just interest?", we may ask ourselves..

Although there are no exact rules to determine this, we can observe certain signs that may lead us to believe that what our partner really feels for us is pure and simple interest. Of course, these signs are not 100% accurate, and may be manifested for other reasons.

What are these clues? In the following lines you can find 10 clues that will help you detect if your partner is using you.

1. He/she does not support you in important decisions and is not there when you need him/her.

Your partner is one of the most important people in your life, so he or she should show support in difficult moments and important decisions. If, for example, you are in exam time or you are taking exams, he or she should be by your side and understand the situation instead of continually demanding things that he or she is interested in.

If he doesn't support you in important decisions and isn't there when you need him, he may really want something you have.he may really want something that you have. Unfortunately, it may not be true love that you have for each other.

• To learn more about true love, you can read our article: "True love should meet these 40 requirements".

2. He doesn't make you feel good with his comments and doesn't respect you.

If in true love your partner stands by your side and supports you, he/she should also show you respect and not hurt your dignity. Naturally, differences can arise in a relationship and conflicts can appear at specific moments when each one defends his or her position.

However, when the person is continuously discrediting you, insulting you, treating you badly or humiliating you, it is possible that he/she is using you, because he/she does not take you into account as a person, nor does he/she take your needs into account. Someone who continually hurts his or her partner does not love him or her..

3. Does not take your opinion into account

Again, respect is basic in any relationship and is manifested in mature love, that love that is rational and favors the well-being of the couple.

Living with someone is a constant negotiation and, therefore, there must be a balance between the needs of both partners, there must be a balance between the needs of both partners.. Therefore, a person who loves you will take your opinion into account even if you do not agree with him or her. When this does not happen and the other person is constantly imposing his or her criteria, it is possible that it is not love but interest. .

4. You are not their priority

When we are in love we want to be with someone in body and mind, and that person becomes our priority. This does not mean that you have to be with that person 24 hours a day, but it does mean that there is an interest in being together..

However, when interest is the reason why the other person is with you, he/she will only look for you at specific moments and will make many plans without you. He/she will only want to be with you when he/she wants to get something out of you.

5. He is not congruent with the love he says he feels.

Surely you have heard the phrase "words are carried by the wind". This phrase is very popular and has a lot of truth.

When a person loves you, he is congruent with what he says and his actions are consistent with his words.. People speak through their actions, so if their behavior and what they verbalize is not consistent, the reason why your partner is with you may not be love. In these cases, he may promise a lot but not deliver on his words.

6. He is only looking for intimacy

One of the most obvious signs that your partner is using you is when he/she only wants to have sex with you.That is, that this is his only interest in spending time with you. When you don't make plans together or all he wants to do is meet for intimate relations instead of going out to dinner and being seen in public, you may begin to doubt his love.

7. He doesn't do things for you if he doesn't benefit from it.

The truth is that when you want to be with someone, sometimes you do things you don't want to do just to make your partner feel good. Accompanying him/her to a concert or taking him/her to the university because his/her car broke down (when you had a date with your friends) are some examples.

It is not a matter of continually giving in to their wishes without taking into account your own, but your partner, if they love you, will also make sacrifices for you. Is that why you have decided to make him/her the person who will be with you for the rest of your life, isn't it?

8. You are always the one who pays

Perhaps you have a lot of economic capital and you doubt the love your partner feels towards you, because one of the biggest interests in life is money. Does your partner never pays for anything when you go out with him or her? Does he or she continually ask you to buy things for him or her? He or she may only want that from you, so watch how he or she behaves in these situations.

9. A lot of people around you tell you that

Sometimes you may be so in love with your partner that, despite observing the above signs, you want to fool yourself into not recognizing that your partner is using you.

Now, in addition to what you think, do others (family, friends, etc.) tell you this all the time? Do the people close to you in your life alert you that your partner's behavior may indicate that he or she is using you? Better to reflect on the matter and use your more rational side.

10. He/she doesn't tell you anything too personal and is not interested in your life.

Is your interpersonal relationship not intimate and there is no trust between you? Does he/she find it difficult to talk about his/her life with you and is rarely interested in yours? Perhaps he/she is not interested in your accomplishments or successes or your goals or concerns in your life? When someone is devoted to another person, you feel loved. Isn't that the case with your partner? Well, think objectively about the kind of relationship you have with your lover.