How to know when to let go of your partner, in 5 key points

Breakups hurt, but so does the uncertainty prior to the emotional disconnection.

Ending a relationship is always complicated, but not only at the moment of breaking up. The simple fact of considering whether we should end this stage of our life that we have shared with another person can be just as hard. And indecision is a real source of stress and anxiety.

In this article we will see several things you should take into account in order to know if the time has come to let go of your partner and return to singleness.

The art of knowing when to let your partner go

In most cases, when marital or relationship crises appear, they do not appear suddenly and clearly. If this were the case, the situation would be very tough, but at least everything would be clearer. What happens, however, is that problems and conflicts progressively accumulate, making the malaiseThe problem becomes entrenched and increasingly difficult to manage.

It is not strange that this is the norm. Faced with situations that are uncomfortable but not well defined and complex to understand, we tend to cling to the hope that everything will be solved by itself; that is, we adopt an avoidant attitude towards the problem.

Closing our eyes and pretending that nothing is wrong may seem unreasonable, but when it is our turn to live these cases in our own flesh, it is usually a very attractive option. If the present gives us the possibility of not having a very bad time, we often opt for that, even if we know that this may lead us to suffer more in the future. And this, of course, happens also with love relationships.

But if we sharpen our ability to detect those points in the relationship where there is no turning back and everything indicates that the chances of everything getting better are very low, it will help us to make the right decision in that case: to terminate the relationship so as not to suffer any more.. Let's see some keys to know if you have reached that situation.

1. The signs of abuse

Obviously, this is the most important aspect when assessing the minimum quality requirements of a relationship. the minimum quality requirements of a relationship.. If insults, physical aggression or other forms of psychological abuse (such as gaslighting) become the norm, the relationship has no reason to exist, since it is in fact not a relationship at all, but a bond based on the denigration of the other or even a threat to one's own integrity. Love and this kind of dealings are incompatible.

Although centuries of normalization of violence against women and romantic love based on sacrifice have meant that in certain cases it is not "automatic" to recognize abuse when it is suffered, it is possible if one takes into account certain red lines that cannot be crossed, such as constant scorn, mockery, insults or the threat of injury or physical pain.

In this case, then, it is not a matter of letting go of the partner, but of acting accordingly to the fact that you do not have a de facto partner, but an abuser.

2. You are only afraid of what people will say about the break-up

If when you think about breaking up with your partner the first concern that comes to your mind is what people will say, this is a symptom that there are solid reasons to end the relationship. there are solid reasons to terminate the engagement or marriage.. At the end of the day, the packaging of a relationship does not make it exist or make sense.

3. You have been feeling bad for a long time

When a part of us feels that we continue in the relationship by pure inertia, it is normal that feelings of guilt arise, especially when establishing plans for the future, given that as time goes by more commitments are adopted, on the one hand, and on the other hand one is pretending to appear normal, deceiving the other person..

In this case it can be considered that there is manipulation, and the fact that it is scary to break the Heart of the other person exposing the situation does not justify that this one lives deceived, option that ends up causing a lot of pain to both parties.

4. There is a situation of dominance

Relationships in which there is a clear asymmetry of power in the roles adopted by each person need not be a form of abuse, but they are still toxic relationships.

This is because the habit that it is always the person who decides and the same person who adapts to these situations can quickly lead to abuse. At the end of the day, the idea is normalized that it is one who is the one who has the criteria and the other who has to follow orders (even if at the beginning he/she simply accepted to have a passive role so as not to have to make too much effort).

5. The other person makes it clear

No matter how much it hurts; if the other person wants to end the relationship, it must be clear that there is nothing to discuss or negotiate. The obsessive ideas about what can be done to get your partner back are common in some cases, but not in others. are frequent in some cases, but we must not let them dominate us.