How to learn to listen in a conversation in 5 steps

Tips on how to make conversations truly meaningful.

Much of our daily life is based on communication. We could not have the quality of life standards we have if it were not for the fact that we live in society. However, we sometimes forget that we also have to contribute something to this formula. For communication to flow, it is important to learn to really listen.

After all, we all know how to sit still while the other person talks, but actually participating in a conversation requires the ability to remain active even when the other person has the floor.

In this article, we will focus on reviewing different tips about how to learn to listen in the conversations we have with friends, family and loved ones. with friends, family and loved ones in general.

Tips for learning to listen

Being good at listening to others is a virtue that is underestimated in many ways. But if mastered, it makes us much more adept at forging bonds with others, as well as avoiding the appearance of misunderstandings. And let's remember that the quality and quantity of these bonds is something that defines our quality of life. Few people like to deal on a regular basis with someone who ignores them while talking.

So consider the following tips when applying them to the conversations you engage in, even if in practice they are more like a monologue than a dialogue. (there are times when a person needs to vent and be heard). Keep in mind that reading subtracted ideas is not enough; you will have to apply them to your daily life constantly to get used to them and adapt them to the characteristics of your life.

1. Estimate the needs of the other person

To begin with, it is good to keep your attention focused on what the other person's nonverbal language and what he/she says between the lines tells us about the needs that move him or her to speak.Is she seeking to be heard to explain an event that has had a strong emotional impact on her, or does she simply want to explain something so that we will use that information to do something?

Depending on these needs, our participation in the conversation should be more about listening, or listening and talking.

Remember that no matter how good you think you are at "connecting" with others, you can never know exactly what they are thinking or feeling at any given moment; being aware of this improves our social skills, because it predisposes us to ask questions and not to assume that we can anticipate everything our interlocutor does.

2. Maintain eye contact

Maintaining eye contact is one of the fundamental aspects of any face-to-face conversation. If this rule is not followed, not only does it create a feeling of distance from the person with whom we are communicating, but it can also lead to misunderstandings. misunderstandings and misinterpretations and failures to interpret the other person's thoughts and intentions.

Therefore, even if you do not speak, look the other person in the eye. If for some reason this is difficult for you, either because of shyness or lack of habit, just look in the direction of their face.. If you do this, without obsessing about making eye contact, it will surely come naturally and after a season of using this technique you won't have to think about it anymore.

3. Don't take it as a break

Listening is not a waste of time, nor is it less important than talking; it is just as important, in fact, if not more so. So, don't take these times as moments of rest when you can do whatever you want. Because if you do, you will simply say what you want to say and then switch off, tune out, and engage in daydreaming, mentally humming songs, or recalling experiences.

With a few occasions when the other person realizes that you are not paying any attention to him or her, they may stop trying to talk to you..

Therefore, remember that the moments in which you do not speak and just listen require your attention and executive functions as much or more than those in which you express yourself through verbal language.

4. Practice active listening

Not only do you have to pay attention to what the other person is telling you. You also have to make it known that you are paying attention. This way, the other person will have an incentive to talk as much as he or she wants, without feeling alibied, and genuine communication will flow..

To achieve this, be sure to pace the conversation by nodding and clearly showing your reactions to what the other person is saying (with gestures or exclamations). You can also provide brief comments about what the other person is communicating, but do not make them so long that they are an interruption. The idea is to complement each other's efforts to explain themselves with our own efforts to explain themselves with our own efforts to communicate what we think of what they are saying..

5. Ask any questions you may have

A conversation is always dynamic, largely improvised. For this reason, you can also contribute to making it meaningful, even in the role of the listener, by asking simple questions or asking for clarification.

In this way compensate for any omissions of information that our interlocutor may This will compensate for the omissions of information in which our interlocutor may fall simply for not having planned what he was going to say, while at the same time showing interest or even facilitating the appearance of moments in which doubts appear that no one had thought of before and that help to see the subject from another perspective.