How to maintain a friendship, in 6 tips

Friendship is not owned, friendship is demonstrated by our actions.

Maintaining a friendship is a task that many people overlook.. Especially if these bonds of affection are asymmetrical, i.e. one party gives a lot and does not receive as much, it is easy for one of the friends to get used to counting on the advantages of being a "friend of...".

Thus, it never hurts to remember that it is necessary to maintain a friendship through small, day-to-day acts. Friendship is demonstrated with deeds.

How to maintain a healthy and functional friendship.

Some people assume that friendships are like a noble title: a label that, unless something goes terribly wrong, is going to be kept for life. However, this belief is totally false for a very simple reason: maintaining a friendship is not something that depends on ourselves and our existence. It is an emotional and affective bond that must be nurtured from both ends and, if not cared for, will eventually wither away. from both ends and that, if not cared for, will eventually wither away.

Unfortunately, not everyone takes this idea into account, and assumes that they will always count on the friendship of those who today laugh at their jokes, share special moments and lend their help when necessary.

For this kind of friend, friendship perpetuates itself over time, as if it did not depend on people's actions and had an entity of its own.. By the time they realize that time has worn away this bond, it is too late, and their attempts to rebuild this union seem the fruit of self-interest and opportunism.

On the other hand, knowing that friendships should be maintained is not something that starts from the defense of morality, but rather from the most basic knowledge of psychology. Regardless of what we think or what we believe to be good or bad, the fact is that whoever ceases to have incentives to be friends with someone, simply devotes less time and effort to that personunless the whole relationship has been based on a dependency bond and therefore it is not a friendship but a toxic relational dynamic. With this in mind... what can we do? Here are some tips for maintaining a friendship.

1. Spend time with that person periodically.

No matter what happens, a friendship is demonstrated by dedicating moments to share experiences with that person. This is a necessary but not sufficient measure, because everything else must be built on it. If this is not the case, it is very likely that some event will not occur that will bring the two people face to face, but the fact that the months go by and you haven't spoken to each other will will mean that, no matter how much you have a good memory of that friend, there will come a point in which you will no longer count on his or her friendship.

Therefore, it is good to reserve certain moments to talk with that friend. Even if you are not close, new technologies allow you to talk in a similar way to what would happen in a face-to-face dialogue. There is no excuse for not having regular contact.

2. Remember symbolic dates

This is another example of how a little can go a long way in making an emotional impact. Remember a significant date, especially if it has to do with a shared experienceclearly shows that the person is important to us. Beyond birthdays, there are many other memorable days: the day we started a trip, the day we had our first conversation, etc.

3. Lend your help

If you know that the other person is going through a bad time, don't look for any excuse not to offer your help. Some people try to avoid this type of situation simply because they do not know how to deal with it and are afraid of hurting the other person by making him/her think about what is bothering him/her, but in any case getting out of the comfort zone is advisablebecause what you can lose (experiencing an uncomfortable moment) is nothing compared to what you can gain.

4. Expand your social circle if you wish

This is another way to strengthen a friendship. Make him/her get in touch with other people in your social circle. not only enriches your life and is in itself a gift.. It also helps your friend get to know you better, through those who also know you.

5. Invest in honesty

Friendship is a space in which we can allow ourselves to be very honest. If you make honesty define you in this type of social relationships, you'll be demonstrating that they can expect almost direct access to your thoughts and opinions, and that they won't be engaging you in a relationship.and that they will not be engaging in a friendship with a façade.

6. Use humor

Friendships are those in which humor has the most value, since you can joke about many more things, as long as you make it clear that you are there to laugh together.. Therefore, a few laughs help to relativize the importance of problems, which makes dialogues based on this genuine sense of humor become a safe space in which everyone can act as they are without fear of being judged.