How to manage negative emotions: 9 tips

Several guidelines to deal with negative emotions in the most constructive way possible.

Anger, rage, sadness, despair, anguish... all of them are emotions and sensations that are not exactly pleasant for us and that imply the suffering of certain discomfort that most of us would like to avoid. However, the fact that they are not palatable does not imply that they are not to some extent healthy, most of them having a sense that pushes us to a type of behavior that can be adaptive as long as they are not taken to the extreme.

That is why, rather than avoiding them, we should learn to manage them. In this article we will look at a series of guidelines that will allow us to to understand how to manage negative emotions.

Emotions and their consideration

We understand emotion as a concrete and subjective affective state that is experienced during a relatively short period of time and that is characterized by generating some type of activation or a certain way of functioning in our organism, which in turn can serve to favor some type of behavior.

They allow us to give a certain value to the experience, whether internal or external.They allow us to give a certain value to the experience, whether it is internal or external, and they are born innately from the interior of people. Their appearance in a specific situation, however, is largely mediated by environmental influences and the subject's previous experiences and learning.

We generally divide emotions into positive and negative, depending on the type of activation they generate in us and the association between this activation and the experience. In general, we consider positive emotions to be those that generate some kind of pleasure (joy, illusion or calmness would be examples) while those that are annoying or painful are the negative ones (sadness, anger or despair).

Both types of emotions, as well as others considered neutral (for example, surprise) actually have an adaptive function for the organism for the organism, since they lead us to tend to act in a certain way.

Guidelines on how to manage negative emotions.

This also includes negative emotions, even if they are undesirable. For example, anger, anguish or rage pushes us to move against something that we consider unjust or that generates discomfort, and sadness makes us seek protection or reduce our level of activity in certain situations in which an excess of action could be an energetic expense).

This is relevant given that very often we want to avoid at all costs to experience negative emotions, even though to a certain degree they are healthy and allow us to survive and face complicated situations. And as we mentioned in the introduction, rather than avoiding them, we should learn to manage them correctly in such a way that we allow ourselves to feel them without them becoming dysfunctional.

This requires emotional intelligenceIn fact, this type of intelligence can be trained. Below we offer a series of guidelines to learn how to manage negative emotions.

1. Do not block them

The first and most important step in learning how to manage negative emotions is simply not to avoid them. As a general rule, we tend to try to reduce our suffering and ignore them or simply cover them up. It is necessary to avoid avoidance and accept that we must face them.

2. Assess why they appear and what they want to tell you.

As we have said, emotions are something adaptive that helps us to survive. It is necessary that besides allowing us to feel them we listen to what they want to tell us, what they are informing us about.

Although this point may seem very logical, the truth is that many people are not able to say why they feel the way they feel. Why are we sad? Has something happened to make us feel this way? We must do an exercise not only of perception but also of reasoning on an emotional level about these questions.

3. Use meditation techniques

Closely linked to the previous point, a good way to get in touch with our emotions is the use of meditation. There are also techniques such as Mindfulness (which is also largely based on a certain type of meditation) that can be useful. Allowing our thoughts and emotions to pass by and observing them as a witness, without interfering with them. observe them as a witness, without interfering with themcan help us to determine the reason for their occurrence.

4. Express them

A widespread error in most societies, at least in Western societies, is that suffering and discomfort are usually a taboo and hidden subject, something even shameful that we do not usually share with anyone or with few people. Negative emotions, therefore, are often hidden and socially repressed, something that in the long run can have a cumulative effect. can have a cumulative effect in the long run. that will make us feel worse and worse and that what should be adaptive becomes detrimental and even pathological.

Although it may not be a matter of constant demonstration, it can be useful to share them with the close environment or to express them in different ways, such as through art. It is a matter of making them flow and letting them appear and disappear in a normal and adaptive way.

5. Give them an answer

It is not only a matter of knowing why they are there or just expressing them, but it is also essential to give an answer to the need that they are there. to give an answer to the need that they are expressing.. That is to say, if we are anguished and need to calm down we should look for an outlet, or if we are sad we should look for a place to feel protected. If we are nervous about the chaos in a situation, perhaps we can seek order, or if we regret having hurt someone, we can talk to that person and try to make amends.

6. Try not to let them dominate you

We have said that negative emotions are also adaptive, as long as they flow normally. But it is also possible that a particular emotion can become a dominant element in our life and become a central axis that alters all our behavior, being also somewhat resistant to change.

We must try to listen to our emotions, but learn to manage them in such a way that they are functional for us. in such a way that they are functional for us and allow us to achieve a good quality of life and a sense of well-being. Otherwise we could be manifesting some kind of unhealthy reaction or even a pathology such as depression. That is why understanding how to manage negative emotions is of great importance in our daily lives.

7. Value situations that arouse similar feelings.

Emotions usually arise when we experience some kind of situation. If the emotions that arise are negative, such as anxiety or fear, sometimes we may not know how to cope with them.

One way to reduce the intensity of these negative emotions can be to remember situations similar to the one that generates the emotion itself: it is about remembering how we have dealt with them if we have been successful in resolving them, in such a way that they inspire us and provide us with guidelines applicable in the current situation. This will allow us to reduce tension and discomfort.

However, this would be valid only if we have successfully faced a similar situation: if we have not achieved a positive resolution in any case, it may even generate a higher level of discomfort.

8. The power of observation

So far we have talked about different aspects to work on oneself, but the truth is that we can also improve our way of managing negative emotions by observing and listening to others.

Observing how others express emotions and how they manage them can allow us not only to identify them in ourselves, but also to identify them in others. can allow us not only to identify them in others but can also lead us to self-identify aspects such as physiological symptoms or ways of acting. The use of models that teach us how to cope with situations and emotions can also help us to a great extent.

9. Self-recording and/or journaling

A typical technique for learning to manage negative emotions has a lot to do with the ability to organize and systematize information. Keeping a diary or some kind of self-record can help us to observe which situations observe which situations generate certain emotions, their intensity or even possible interpretations of them.The most common way to learn to manage negative emotions is to be able to organize and systematize the information.